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i just came out to my brother

Racer Dave

Racer Dave

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Was actually busted. I have a small gay pride flag that I normally put in the back window of my car. More for me than anyone else. Of course I normally take it out when I get home but he was on his way out when I got home and he noticed and asked about it. Well I could hardly deny it as it was pretty obvious. He's totally cool with it even gave me a hug and said I was still his brother no matter what.
The confidence to finally tell the rest of my family and friends is growing every day
 
That is sweet. He's a great guy. You are very lucky to have him.

I wouldn't even bother telling anyone until they ask. When they ask, they're ready for the answer. If they don't ask, they either aren't ready or they don't want to know. You didn't tell him until he asked, and that worked out fine. So just let it go until asked again.
 
Congratulations, sounds like you partially wanted people to know?

I disagree with the others, telling people and coming out is part of growing into a full and accepting of yourself, gay man. Letting others come to you and just not directly lieing, is not telling the truth. It feels good to be out the closet on your terms and under your own steam, not waiting years for the conversation to come up.

You are on a roll, carry on and tell the rest, then start living your life.
 
As long as your brother isn't asked to keep it a secret it's your choice as to what to do next. I'd tell the rest of my family.
 
Smitho and Seasoned, I do really want to tell them and yes I do really want everyone to know. Just have no idea how it will be recieved. As I said he was on his way out and will only be back home tomorrow we'll talk about it more then. I think the fact I can rely on his support may make it easier when the time comes.
 
Racer I really wouldnt bother telling others about your sexuality. They dont exactly come rushing to tell you about their sex life do they? Let it be bud. It's a non-event. If they are interested, they will ask you, and if you are interested in answering, let them know, otherwise ask them why they think your sex life is any of their business.

If you want to phone and talk about it, PM me and i will give you my number ok.
 
Well I'm exhausted, myself and brother sat and chatted openly this morning and he said again that he respects me and suports me. Last night at a braai I let slip to another female friend and the wife of one of my friends when we were drunkenly discussing relationships and they asked why I was still single. They both said thats okay and we carried on like nothing happened or was said. I have decided to take a step back for now and just enjoy being me. As I said I'm exhausted mentally and need to recover a little before I can talk to my parents. For now I'll just carry on regardless but will not deny anything if aproached or questioned about if I'm gay or not.

Thanks to you all for the advice and support so far (*8*)
 
Take care and enjoy the beginnings of a new found freedom. You are giving yourself a great holiday present.
 
Hey, I see your from South Africa, I heard that being gay isn't that widely accepted out there, is this still the case or are things changing?
 
JC2008 said:
Hey, I see your from South Africa, I heard that being gay isn't that widely accepted out there, is this still the case or are things changing?
Click to expand...

Yup, proudly South African. We really are a multicultural society and allot of the african cultures shun homosexuality. As a result you tend to get allot of violence towards gays and lesbians in those areas, there've even been cases involving the police. Even us whites don't really have it easy, there are still allot of tradional Afrikaaners who tend to be very religious and as a result aren't gay friendly. Events like Johannesburg pride and more recently the Sexpo, an anual sex expo cover all areas and facits of sexuality, are helping break own the barriers a little.
 
Racer Dave said:
Well I'm exhausted, myself and brother sat and chatted openly this morning and he said again that he respects me and suports me. Last night at a braai I let slip to another female friend and the wife of one of my friends when we were drunkenly discussing relationships and they asked why I was still single. They both said thats okay and we carried on like nothing happened or was said. I have decided to take a step back for now and just enjoy being me. As I said I'm exhausted mentally and need to recover a little before I can talk to my parents. For now I'll just carry on regardless but will not deny anything if aproached or questioned about if I'm gay or not.
Thanks to you all for the advice and support so far (*8*)
Click to expand...

You seem to be doing all the right things now.

Yes, just enjoy being you cos it doesnt actually matter who you sleep with

and Yes, just be honest. If someone has the audacity to ask you a direct question, give them a direct answer.
:=D:
 
Quick update, I came out to my mom and stepdad tonight. We went out for a early birthday dinner (mine) and I basically said that there's something I want to say and told them I'm gay. Once again I realised just how awesome my family is they were totally accepting and even ordered a bottle of wine to celebrate. I'm so relieved and it feels like I can finally move on with my life now.

Now the question is how to come out to my friends
 
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