I just don't know what to do with myself

[eat-my-goal]

I'm getting increasingly frustrated at how complicated my love-life has been over the past few months. Currently seeing my good mate and have really strong feelings for him. Only 2 people know about us at the minute and therefore one of my other mates girlfriends has been trying to set me up with her friend for the last few weeks (asking me every other day)

So at the weekend I said "aye, if you're paying" (double date and all that) and checked with my "mate" that he would be alrite with me going and he said yes as long as i promised nowt would happen. It was basically a wayof getting me mates girlfriend off my back whilst also getting a free meal, perfect

Anyways go on this date and meet the lass. She turns out to be an attractive blonde lass, just my type (well used to be my type) Anyways get taking over the dinner and she was a cracking lass, great personality. So i was sat there just having a laugh. Night ended and I walked this lass home whilst me mate and his girlfriend went their way. Got to her house and she goes to kiss me and i found myself leaning in, completely forgetting my promise. I remembered in time and pulled away and told her i have to get off.

Now this was Monday night, I have been feeling really shit and guilty ever since. She's been texting me but I just haven't sent anything back. I've been really quiet around my "mate" and he has asked several times what's the matter. I wanna tell him but I'm worried incase he will stop trusting me.

 

[KaraBulut]

As long as you did nothing but kiss a girl, I wouldn't worry about it.

Are you beginning to understand why gay people come out to their friends?

 

[rareboy]

You're the only one who can uncomplicate your life.

As Kara says, if all you were going to do was give the girl a friendly kiss, so what? Tell your mate. Tell him she's trying to follow-up. Invite her to go out for dinner with you and your boyfriend. Who knows, maybe she'd just be a good friend.

 

[benlemieux2003]

I think you're going down an extra path you certainly don't need to go that ultimately just complicates things...

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm not quite sure on one point. Are you seriously done with this girl? You don't want to continue on with her? Because I can't honestly tell from your post.

If you don't, then all's well. Stick with your guy, tell him you kissed goodbye but you pulled away, and text the girl to tell her that you're flattered, but you've found someone else.

If you do, well then, this is going to get a bit sticky.

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

If you do, well then, this is going to get a bit sticky.

No pun intended, I'm sure.

 

[Lube]

... checked with my "mate" that he would be alrite with me going and he said yes as long as i promised nowt would happen....
Got to her house and she goes to kiss me and i found myself leaning in, completely forgetting my promise. I remembered in time and pulled away and told her i have to get off.
... I wanna tell him but I'm worried incase he will stop trusting me.

Um, nothing happened, if this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

What exactly are you feeling guilty about. The only thing you should be guilty about is leading this girl on, as you previously said she used to be your type.

Tell the girl she'll be a great friend and nothing more than that. Tell the bf that nothing happened (it didn't, right?).

Case closed. Unless there's more you haven't told us.

 

[drhladnjak]

I think it's crappy for you to lead this girl along. I mean would you want somebody you really liked who finally agreed to a date to just blow you off afterwards like that? If you're not interested in dating her, be a man and tell her you're seeing somebody else and it's getting kind of serious.

 

[eat-my-goal]

I think it's crappy for you to lead this girl along. I mean would you want somebody you really liked who finally agreed to a date to just blow you off afterwards like that? If you're not interested in dating her, be a man and tell her you're seeing somebody else and it's getting kind of serious.

Aye I agree it's crappy, but thought it was an easy option then say i'm bi and in a relationship with a lad.

Case closed. Unless there's more you haven't told us.

Not a lot more, admittedly I text her back this weekend after a fall-out with my mate. Anyways she asked if I wanted to go get a drink on the riverside. I agreed on 3rd time of asking as I felt pretty down, basically thinking it was just as friends. Not her way of thinking and she was flirting a lot (I am naturally flirty, so she may have interpretted that as me feeling the same way), she asked me if I would like to go out as a couple and I managed to get enough courage and I said "Katie, you're a fantastic lass and usually I would say yes in an instant but I'm sorry I'm in a relationship, it's kinda complicated but i'd like it if we could be friends?", she replied "You're gay aren't you?" lol, I laughed and said "well bi actually, i'm sorry if i might have led you on but you know Ash (me other mates gf) wont take no for an answer, if you wouldn't mind, would you keep this to yourself??" She agreed and said she would like to go out for another drink some time.

Not a bad ending to the situation

 

[Lube]

she replied "You're gay aren't you?"

Every closeted gay/bi guy thinks they are sooooo clever and they have evvvvveryone fooled.*

But you're not fooling anyone.

Everybody suspects you're gay. You are not hiding anything; you're just making your life a complicated hell with all this deceit.





*--Been there, done that.