I lost a friend.

[MindBlast]

I honestly don't know what to do at this point.

I lost a friend of 9 years, and I don't even know how it happened. He hasn't talked to me in over 8 months now. I saw him driving once a week and a half ago. He's spending all his time at his parents acreage and never calls me or comes around anymore. We were honestly on very good terms before, so I don't know what changed. It's not like me being gay was an issue; he's known that from the start, and he knows damn well I don't want him in 'that' way (he's straight if that's relevant).

I miss him. This is the second time something like this has happened to me.

 

[AverageJoe]

I've had that happen before. People change as they grow.

On the other hand, it might not be a bad idea to make sure nothing's bothering him.

 

[rareboy]

Yeah, reach out but don't be too upset if he's just moved on in his life and doesn't see you as a major part of it.

But accept that the friends of childhood don't always last into adulthood.

I lost every one of my good childhood friends because they or more often than not, their girlfriends and wives were not comfortable with having a homo in their midst...no matter how accepting they pretended to be. It was just like they drifted away. the closet cases were even worse; they just ran and hid.

Move on.

Find the friends of adulthood. If you can make longterm friends, you'll have no trouble doing it again and again.

I gotta say though, maybe he saw the pics in your gallery and is just upset at what he's missing.

 

[Horschallen]

Rather than trying to call him or send him email, send him one last brief (brief with less than one page) letter letting him know that you still cared and that you would be around if he wants to get in touch. Leave it as that and move on. Like many others, I have had situations similar to yours, and they were never easy. I have severed most of these friendships myself so I could move on and heal from these pain. I wish you well and with your great looks and sweet heart, you can have many more meaningful friendships. I still miss at least a couple of these guys I cared for, but I do not see them.

 

[gustischafer]

Something similar to your situation has already happend to me twice (with the same guy). Just try to make things clear. Ask him (maybe by calling him) what's wrong, if you have done something that has annoyed/hurt him and stuff like that. And be cool, don't be upset or worried, cause this can influence the whole situation.

 

[Horschallen]

The point is do not force yourself on him... it will only make him more elusive and resentful. Just an experience I have.... it is best to keep it at a minimum, especially when it has become sensitive.

 

[texan_slant]

I hate to say this, but friends do come and go, and can be victims of circumstance or diverging interests as we get older; not to the fault of anyone's.

It's really a very select few that stick around to be your soulmates.

Give it time and space (without being clingy); perhaps touch base with him once ot twice to see if it jump-starts your friendship again, and if he doesn't seem responsive, it is then that you will have known whether or not the friendship was meant to continue;

It may come 'round full circle, or it may not, however, be ready and try to make additional friends in the meantime.

You are pretty dang hot, by the way!

 

[MindBlast]

I hate to say this, but friends do come and go, and can be victims of circumstance or diverging interests as we get older; not to the fault of anyone's.

It's really a very select few that stick around to be your soulmates.

Give it time and space (without being clingy); perhaps touch base with him once ot twice to see if it jump-starts your friendship again, and if he doesn't seem responsive, it is then that you will have known whether or not the friendship was meant to continue;

It may come 'round full circle, or it may not, however, be ready and try to make additional friends in the meantime.

You are pretty dang hot, by the way!

I understand that friends come and go and all that. It's not just me though, he's had very little contact with anyone. I know he's going to post secondary school now, and I remember how much time that took out of me. Maybe that's his way of dealing with it, isolating himself. He's purposely hard to get a hold of. No phone, no internet. If I want to get a hold of him I'll have to mail a letter, which is crazy.

I'm just going to wait it out and see what happens. He's done this before but never for more than a month or so when he got really busy.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah, that doesn't sound like it has anything to do with you.

Leave it alone, go on with your life.

 

[texan_slant]

OK, your last post clarifies that it's not just you; he definitely is wanting/needing some space.

Be there as a friend if need be, whenever he is ready, yet go on with your life without waiting on him. Strong friendships can still thrive if the communication is minimal, and should be dynamic with the waves if one goes through a life change.

 

[Halifaxboy8]

I think every same message has been said. I'll give you my perspective:

Due to the nature of my life I've moved around a lot. In the course of all that there are people that I've met and embraced. Some of them, a rare few, I've kept in touch with.

Some of that distance is a me thing. I can't possibly keep in touch with EVERYONE I've bumped into and moved away from. That said, there are a precious few that remain in my heart and I always think of them.

Thinking of people does not easily translate into keeping constant, or even sporadic, contact. Life happens. You have your wants (to keep in contact) but he's going through a ton of stuff right now and he apparently just needs to do that and whatever else is going on. Don't put too much into him not saying "Hi" just because you have a need to.

I've bumped across old friends (and maintained contact) with people that I lost touch with 20 years ago.

Don't write this guy off, or begrudge him, or whatever, because of a life-gap. If he's going through stuff..well, he's there and maybe you just have to wait it through.

Distance does funny things to people. Some people can deal, some can't. A lot of people just would prefer closeness than dealing with letters, email, etc.

I'd say drop him a line and let him know you are available. I'd even phone him if he's generally not responding to anyone with emails. Sometimes we get caught up in a text world and forget about real time conversation.

Anyway, if he's out of contact generally with everyone..well..he's got "stuff" going on and what can you do about that. Its not a personal thing, he's taking space.

I'd try phoning though if you really want to reach him and the other methods have failed. I've phoned more than one person after 10-15 years and the conversation was amazingly receptive.