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I Love my BF, but...

B

breatheH20

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....I'm really liking an old acquiantance I had about a year ago. At that time (Summer 2005), he and I hung out for a couple days and clicked really well, he knew exactly how to press my button the right way, masculine, butch, badass kind of guy that doesn't take shit off of anyone. I find that very attractive, can't help it! Well, we kinda lost touch, up until a couple weeks ago and I managed to find him on myspace and such, and I called him up. We talked a little, nothing serious at all, a few chit chats here and there.

To make a long story kind of short, we hung out last Thursday, socialized at his new place with his roommates, and then by the end of the night we got pretty hot in his bedroom. :D And I loved every minute of it. And, as bad as it is to say, I did not feel bad about it even though my boyfriend did cross my mind a couple of times, and he managed to call right when the other guy finished.

So, basically, I've kinda fallen for this guy again, even though I've been in a happy 1 year relationship with my boyfriend. I find that my bf and him are opposites, one being very needy and the other very distant. My boyfriend is becoming a little bit more annoying as each day goes by, but I still love him to death, and feel like he's probably my only chance at a healthy long-term relationship with a guy. Then again, I'm 19, and it's really early for that as well..

Plus, It wouldn't make any sense to try and nab this guy I like, since he doesn't want to be tied down and is basically not going anywhere soon with his life. Amidst all of his flaws, I find him irresistible and can't take my mind off of him.

So, what do you all think, what should I do? What would you do? This battle is driving me nuts.
 
At 19, live life, have fun and be safe.
 
Be honest with your boyfriend. Tell him you are not sure. At least be up front with your conflicted desires. It is not unusual to be unsure that you have found the one you want to settle down with at 19.
 
What if you and your boyfriend were in different positions? He found the hot guy that he was once a good friend with and was having the same thoughts that you are having now. How would you feel?
 
I could imagine this is a problem in your late 20s and beyond, but at 19, there will still be plenty of possible LTRs. You're going to try out a lot of different relationships over the next several years and maybe break some hearts and have yours broken. But, it's still early, so don't get tied down yet with one relationship.
 
You have to tell your boyfriend that you cheated on him and end the relationship. Since you have no respect for your boyfriend, you probably shouldn't be in any relationship at this time. Go enjoy your No-Strings-Attached butch man.
 
There is a distinct lack of maturity on your part...and that is natural and to be expected at such a young age. What seems to me to be most important at whatever stage of life and experience one might have...is to develop and maintain character. Long after the thrill of physical attraction is gone, you will be left with character and maturity. I wish you well in that regard.
 
breathe,

Despite what you say, you obviously are not happy in your relationship if you allowed this to happen. Like Just_Believe18 said, you need to come clean with your boyfriend and move on. It's not fair for your boyfriend to care for someone who is not completely there for him as he thinks. And you're young and clearly not relationship-minded yet - save everyone heartache and follow your heart and desire without hurting anyone else with lies and secrecy.
 
opposites have a way of working out...
but if you want to give up the guy that adores you, the one thats there for you, and be bounced around, ignored and treated like shit waiting for his every call..have at it......there's a reason you have not seen this guy for a long time....he felt the same thing about you....
 
I never understood why people in their teens or early 20's even try to have relationships? Have fun but don't lead yor bf on. set him free.
 
I think you do need to be honest with your boyfriend. You really are too young to want a LTR and be in it whole hearted. If you are honest with yourself you are not fully dedicated to this relationship if you are cheating. So please be honest and let him down before you really hurt him
 
You better talk with your boyfriend about this stuff or you will most liekly end up in a bad situation.
 
bluedragon4 said:
I never understood why people in their teens or early 20's even try to have relationships? Have fun but don't lead yor bf on. set him free.
Click to expand...

I disagree. Since when did age determine who was capable of having a relationship or not? Human civilization has a history of teenagers marrying into monogamy for the rest of their lives.

I've been in a live-in relationship since I was 18. I'm 21 now, and I've never cheated on my man.

Being 19 is no excuse for a lack of integrity.
 
soreknees said:
At 19, live life, have fun and be safe.
Click to expand...
Ditto.

And as for telling him you have to think: was this an isolated incident or will it happen again.

If it won't happen again and you can move forward, let it be.

There is such a thing as being too honest.
 
"My boyfriend is becoming a little bit more annoying as each day goes by, but I still love him to death, "

uhh, why exactly?
 
Ok, so many answers...
First, I just totally got put on blast by the previous post. Yes, the new guy was the one I had trouble with, it was embarrasing, but I still fooled around with him and got him off, whatever the case is something happened with the new guy. The whole hardon problem had nothing to with anyone in particular, just something that's going on right now. I can't even get myself in the mood lately..

Anyway, back to the topic. In the bf's shoes. If I were in his shoes, I think I would be hurt, not "omg crawl on the couch watch lifetime and eat ice cream all day" hurt, but still saddened by it. But I would probably try to bring things to the table. Maybe possible go for an open relationship for a while and see where it goes.

My bf now is a great guy, sweet, caring, trustworthy, honest, loving, and all the qualities in a guy that would make for a great LTR. Before I met him, I spent a year dealing with the ups and downs and heartbreaks of dating, and thought I would never find someone like him. So I was relieved to find him. Now, a year later, I feel like I wanna go out and play again. And I admit, I'm very selfish in saying that, I want to play some, but still have this great guy. That's horrible, I can't believe I even said that, but it's the truth.

I think this was an isolated incident with the new guy, as long as I stay away from him, and I'm sure by the way he acts he won't be contacting me at all. The part that sucks is, I like the new guy regardless of the fact that he is not going to be around, i'd have to chase him down and always call and make plans and yada yada.

I think I should just let it go and stay with the bf. I think that I'll regret deciding otherwise, since I feel my bf is my only chance at an LTR or whatever.

I'm lost....

Thanks for the answers by the way... and Happy New Year
 
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