I need advice

[G-Lexington]

Hello, and welcome to JUB!

Honestly, I think you may be reading too much into your dreams. To me, dreams are simply my brain's way of sorting through data. I've noticed that if I spend a lot of time with somebody - my boss, my neighbor - that person will start showing up more in my dreams. It doesn't mean I have certain feelings for them, and it most certainly doesn't mean that they have feelings fro me. You may think otherwise, but I'm convinced that this is the case.

I'm assuming your friend doesn't know that you're gay. If that's the case, I most certainly would NOT make any move towards him physically. Nothing that you've said about him indicates that he's anything but straight. Take him at his word.

Lex

 

[Ron Apple]

I'm going to have to agree with Lex, you shouldn't base anything on something that someone says when they drunk.... He could be very much straight, and you wouldnt want to mess anything up.

Cya

 

[KaraBulut]

I need an advice. I think I have fellings for my friend. I often dream about him. Nothing erotic. Just dreams where he is in normal situation.

Two different things-

Dreams just pick up where you left off when you were awake.

If your dreams about your friend aren't erotic, then your dreams aren't the issue.

If you have feeling for your friend when you're awake, then that's the issue...

And when he is drunk, sometimes he makes jokes like he is gay like: acting blowjobs and riding.... We usually make gay jokes, but that's it.
What do you think?

I think your friend is a straight guy who drinks too much and acts like a fool when he does.

P.S. If the language is not very good, please sorry....

The language is just fine.

 

[Lewis1]

Hello, and welcome to JUB!

Honestly, I think you may be reading too much into your dreams. To me, dreams are simply my brain's way of sorting through data. I've noticed that if I spend a lot of time with somebody - my boss, my neighbor - that person will start showing up more in my dreams. It doesn't mean I have certain feelings for them, and it most certainly doesn't mean that they have feelings fro me. You may think otherwise, but I'm convinced that this is the case.

I'm assuming your friend doesn't know that you're gay. If that's the case, I most certainly would NOT make any move towards him physically. Nothing that you've said about him indicates that he's anything but straight. Take him at his word.

Lex

dannnnnnnnnnnng

you make it sound hopeless

i know it probbaly is but cant a guy dream (pun intended)

 

[swerve]

Welcome to JUB "unknown"!!!

What country are you from??? Just curious -- I found your post VERY intriguing and your ability to express yourself EXCELLENT!!!

Why do you think that if you dream of someone -- that there are mutual feelings??? I've never heard of this before -- and am wondering what culture believes this and WHY...

As far as you friend -- I'd say "go with the flow"...

He sounds like a LOT OF FUN to be around -- AND -- if in a drunken state it crosses the line -- well -- thats the ONLY time I'd cross the line...

That way you have an "excuse"...

I'm still VERY CURIOUS about that "dream" philosophy though...

I've NEVER heard of that...






Thanks...

 

[Muskox]

Your message sounds like you are young (under 20), probably still in school. You may not have experienced an enduring friendship. My advice is, as long as he maintains he is straight, treat him like he is straight. Give the friendship time to grow and develop. People change when real trust is established in a friendship and you may learn more about him and have a better idea of who he really is. (And he will learn more about you.)

If you are gay (you don't say for sure), you should consider gently telling him that at some point and see how he reacts over time (don't accept his initial reaction as settling the matter), but you have to be prepared for him rejecting you. He may be straight and reject your friendship, or he may be gay and scared to admit it, or he may be as confused as you seem to be. The basic rule in all such matters: take your time.

 

[thebig]

I was thinking what to reply here.

I know it's scary situation. I could lose his friendship if I say something. And that's the last thing I want.
I've seen that you guys think that this is only in dreams. He is everywhere. The first thing I think in the morning when I wake up is him, and the last think before I fell a sleep is him. I would give all the money of the world if I could only him saying to me that he feels the same.
But my mind and heart is telling me that's wrong. He should be happy. He should find a woman that will adore him. Because with me, he has no good thing.
You see, I am sad, I could say I'm angry for having feeling toward him, and only him. No other guy was attractive before him and after him. I think I can say that I hate myself for being who I am.
And this "Book of dreams" is all that is telling me that there is a chance. But like I said early before, I don't need to be happy as long as his face is smiling.
I think I will take the advice to wait if it's gonna happen something while he is drunk... But I don't think that will happen- ever..

And for those who are asking from where I am.... I'm from non-english European country. I prefer not to say which one.....

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm assuming, "thebig", that you and "unknown" are the same person...

There are several words in English for what you're experiencing. "Crushing" or "obsessing" are two that come to mind. Thinking about him all the time, dreaming about him - these are signs that you are becoming obsessed with him.

Your friend appears to be straight. But if you live in a very homophobic environment, his straightness might be nothing but a mask. The unfortunate thing is that there is no safe way to discover if this is the case. You can't make a move, and then later undo it. You can both get drunk, and try to blame the alcohol if things get weird, but still, it'll be done. You both know what happened, and you'll have to both live with and accept that.

Without knowing what you are, and what "gay life" is like in your area, it's tough to give advice. If you lived in America, I'd suggest trying to move beyond your friend. Find some "out" gay guys to hang out with. Ones who are comfortable being who they are, and may actively like you back. But judging from the tone of your posts, I'm assuming this isn't an option for you.

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

So. You're not gay, you're not interested in gay sex, or even meeting gay people. But you've come onto a gay messageboard (and started at least two account) to tell us you're fascinated by a male friend of yours, who is also not gay, and with whom you're not interested in doing anything.

Sorry. Out of advice.

Lex

 

[rareboy]

Yes you are likely gay, but in denial.

Gay guys are not freaks. We are ordinary people. So are you.

You are gay because of genetics.

Being gay is not a punishment. It is more like an extraordinary distinction. It only limits you if you allow it to.

I can't answer for your environment. You may have a lot of people who tell you that gay is wrong or sick. They are full of shit.

You have so many issues to work out that I can't even think of how to advise you at this stage.

The first thing is that I would encourage you to be as open minded and self positive as possible, in order to learn to accept and love yourself.

Next, forget about your other 'straight' friend. It likely isn't going to happen and just because two 'straight' guys fuck, it doesn't mean they're not gay.

Best of luck in your journey to find yourself. Just remember, spending your life alone is not your destiny, it is your choice.

 

[KaraBulut]

If your dreams about your friend aren't erotic, then your dreams aren't the issue.

If you have feeling for your friend when you're awake, then that's the issue...

Maybe I am gay. But I don't wanna admit because I feel like some kind of freak. I just can't keep wondering why I have these fellings. What I did bad to get this punishment. I did get to this place. But I was wondering am I like the other gay population. And I found myself not to be like others. Sorry, but that's the truth. I still hope that something will happen in my brain and I'll start behaving like other straight people.
And you got it all wrong about my friend. I said that he is the only person of same sex that I would be able to try something. Only him, nobody else. That's the reason why I'm not interested in gay sex. And if I'm that stupid (which I think I am), I'll probably spend my life all alone. Maybe it's my destiny. And if there is a slight of chance that he might try something with me, I'll wait for him.

I think we're getting closer to what is actually going on here.

Lots of guys get crushes on or vague attractions to other guys . That's not unusual. The difference between a crush that a straight guy would get and a crush that a gay guy would get is the gay guy feels a more sexual connection with the other guy.

There's a reason why you're here- on a site that is primarily for gay and bisexual men and a site that features a lot of pictures of hot naked men having sex.

Know this- you are not alone. There are millions of other gay men and bisexuals in the world. Most of them went through feelings like you are having before they found peace and happiness with who they are.

And here on this site, there are guys who are willing to listen when you're ready to talk about what's really going on with you.

 

[Eternaldarkness]

I believe in the idea that whatever you think about way overly too much in the day, you'll often find yourself dreaming about at night.

For example, if i'm too concern about work..I'll dream of myself working.

Honesty, I don't think you're friend is interested into you that way.

You're thinking too much. You need to keep things simple, as thinking too much leads to false assumptions.