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I Need Desperate Help!!!!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Zildjian
  • Start date Start date
Z

Zildjian

Guest
Guys,

I need help RIGHT NOW! This obsession thing over Rob is making me INSANE!! Even as I type, I'm in shortness of breathe and my hands are trembling.

A few minutes ago, I tried to IM Rob on AIM. I saw that he was signed on, so I sent a message ("Hi"). I waited and waited, but never received a response. Then all of a sudden, he signed off! (without talking to me).

Do you think he's had enough of me? Do you think my last email to him was the straw that broke the camel's back?

God, I feel like crying here.


HELP!!
 
Dude, I do not see anything offensive in your email to Rob. I thought is was well thought out and well written!

Unfortunately, I can not tell you what is going on in Rob's head or why he signed off. Sorry I can not be of any more help than that!
 
I just can't take this anymore. :cry:

My mind is completely inundated with thoughts of him, especially thoughts about me being 'out of his league' (even as a friend) because of his schooling and career accomplishments.

I can't concentrate on my work, I'm not eating, and I'm overly stressed.

I can't take this anymore!
 
You might want to take a step back and remember that you are just friends at the moment. Since a lot of us have been there (including me), it's easier said than done, however, you're obsessing over something that can only take its own course over time.

Also, remember that the danger of communicating via IM and email is that one can malke assumptions based on the simplest of actions without *really* knowing the intention behind that action. You don't have that face-to-face contact or communication to confirm anything, so *you really don't know* the circumstances behind the scenario.

Last of all, you need to live for, and take care of yourself.
 
Ok,

I've decided to end things with my 'friend', Rob. I'm not going to email, chat, or even phone him anymore.

The thoughts of him being 'better than me' and me being 'out of his league' as friend are so stressing me until I can barely sit still.

I'm finished with all of this.

I wish I had never met him.
 
Zildjian said:
I just can't take this anymore. :cry:

My mind is completely inundated with thoughts of him, especially thoughts about me being 'out of his league' (even as a friend) because of his schooling and career accomplishments.

I can't concentrate on my work, I'm not eating, and I'm overly stressed.

I can't take this anymore!
Click to expand...

This is no longer about a guy. This is about an obsessive behavior pattern that you are not unable to stop.

Reminder again:
1. You were not going to IM this guy again. Only in person phone conversations.
2. You were going to get into therapy.

You're doing this to yourself. You need to get help to stop this obsessive behavior pattern. Until you take the steps to stop this, you will continue to do repeat this behavior over and over.

Find a therapist. Get help.
 
KaraBulut said:
This is no longer about a guy. This is about an obsessive behavior pattern that you are not unable to stop.

Reminder again:
1. You were not going to IM this guy again. Only in person phone conversations.
2. You were going to get into therapy.

You're doing this to yourself. You need to get help to stop this obsessive behavior pattern. Until you take the steps to stop this, you will continue to do repeat this behavior over and over.

Find a therapist. Get help.
Click to expand...

My mom forwarded me all the information on getting a therapist this afternoon - I'm calling first thing in the morning to start scheduling appointment(s).

As for Rob, I've had enough. I'm mentally exhausted of thinking about him, so I'm not going to contact him in anyway form (chat, IM, or even phone) from now on. If he calls, I'll be polite. I'm finished with all of this - I'm paying too high of a price for a 'friend'.

He probably doesn't think much of me anyway. I'm probably just another guy he can have hang out with him at the gay clubs when he's in Dallas.

I guess I'm back down to zero (0) friends now. Life sux.
 
If this is your pattern with friends, it's understandable why you think you have none. And I don't say that to be harsh--it's just the truth.

ROB is not the problem here--he's offered you friendship. He's not judging you as unworthy.

It's YOUR own feeling of being unworthy that is getting in the way. You are doing this to yourself with your own self talk. You are bright and articulate--why would someone also bright and articulate be too good for you to be friends with? Answer, he's not. You're tormenting yourself with your low opinion of your value.

If you keep up this line of thinking, you will indeed end up completely alone, as you will shun any friend who tries to get in, because you think so low of yourself you won't let them stay.

Definitely get help. Definitely back off contacting Rob. Definitely be nice and friendly if he contacts you. And when you feel the need to over-analyze things with him--Shut up. (*8*)
 
Send him a link to this thread and your posting history about him. That should pretty much solidify an end to things with him.
 
Zildjian said:
Guys,

I need help RIGHT NOW! This obsession thing over Rob is making me INSANE!! Even as I type, I'm in shortness of breathe and my hands are trembling.

A few minutes ago, I tried to IM Rob on AIM. I saw that he was signed on, so I sent a message ("Hi"). I waited and waited, but never received a response. Then all of a sudden, he signed off! (without talking to me).

Do you think he's had enough of me? Do you think my last email to him was the straw that broke the camel's back?

God, I feel like crying here.


HELP!!
Click to expand...

Oh for the love of Christ. ](*,)](*,)](*,)

What part of STOP SENDING EMAILS did you not understand from your last thread of similar insanity? Dude, YOU are the one doing this to yourself. Did you ever stop to consider that you could have IM'd a "hi" after he had walked away from his computer already, and after a short while his computer goes into sleep mode, therefore logging him off?

Here's the problem from where I see it. You don't like yourself and have little or no self-worth. You then try to obsess over why someone else would like you, since you are unlikable in your own mind. How do you expect to be able to love someone else if you cannot love yourself first? Take some advice from someone who has "been there and done that", and do some mental and emotional homework on yourself. Nothing will change until that happens I'm sorry to say.
 
EvilForce said:
Here's the problem from where I see it. You don't like yourself and have little or no self-worth. You then try to obsess over why someone else would like you, since you are unlikable in your own mind.
Click to expand...

OMG. I think you're right. I really don't like myself and I do think very little of myself.

I'll talk to my therapist about this.
 
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