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I Need Help!!!!!!!asap!!!!!!!

9

9Times

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OK to summarize my troubles:

I seem to attract a lot a MARRIED MEN my way (at least over 35-medan age 40) and they love to hang out with me.

One man in particular (44-years-old) asks me for rides from work b/c his wife could not (or will not?) pick him up and I spend evenings with him and his wife. Now, she asked me if I slept with men before and I answered "Yes". So, when I am there, he is raptured with my attention while his wife is left out. I don't take it there with him, but I think he likes me...what should I do?

We spent late evenings together without his wife, and the topic never came up. I think he is waiting for me to make a move, but I won't. His wife swears that I am sleeping with him and asked him why he likes me so much.

Another problem....I recently came out to my best friend (which he is "homophobic"). I say that only because we have the most emotionally gay relationship known to all man! He calls me to say goodnight, hugs me, KISSED ME twice (and I kissed him once-nothing sensual, but a kiss is a kiss!) calls to say good morning and the whole nine yards. I always thought he hated gays, but was very accepting of me coming out. Only now, he wants to check every guy I want to talk to (or interfere with one guy I talked to, which ended to my gladness) and wonders who I would involve myself with. Maybe he is the "protective" type, but I came out with other straight friends and they do not preoccupy their time with who I am with at a moment. So, are his feelings really from a friendship standpoint, or something deeper??????
 
This is easy.

Married guy first. Stop going. Don't give his wife any reason to think that your doing something with him. If your going to give him rides to work though...then find another person to go with you too. Your going to have to in my opinion but some distance between him and you until things have settled down.

As for your friend......well he is either being over protective of you or he's in denial. None of my friends call to say good morning or good night to me. They sure as hell don't care who I date either! You might have to have the "talk" with him.
 
Lex right.
 
hmmmm, yea get rid of the married guy, and ask ur best friend, it kinda sounds like hes in love with you, lol
 
screwnutty said:
This is easy.

Married guy first. Stop going. Don't give his wife any reason to think that your doing something with him. If your going to give him rides to work though...then find another person to go with you too. Your going to have to in my opinion but some distance between him and you until things have settled down.

As for your friend......well he is either being over protective of you or he's in denial. None of my friends call to say good morning or good night to me. They sure as hell don't care who I date either! You might have to have the "talk" with him.
Click to expand...


You see, the married man "Alex" has other friends to visit him. His wife doesn't like any of his company (esp. since she is not allowed to have friends, but that's another issue). When I am there, she expects me to be her informant on whether he has any women after him. All the while, I am on the spot because she wonders if I will try to make my move. I couldn't see myself that desperate to sleep with someone else's husband (twice my age at that!), but the vibe is definitely weird. You're right, the situation won't get better the more I make a presence there. His wife "Donna" is only 26 herself (I am 24), so I sympathize with her being married to a much older man. So, I know she's still young and unsure of her life.
 
Luka said:
hmmmm, yea get rid of the married guy, and ask ur best friend, it kinda sounds like hes in love with you, lol
Click to expand...

What's funny is my friend since college, "Chris", comes from an East Indian/Grecian family and everyone's very affectionate that way....with the hugs and kisses. No doubt, he is strikingly attractive (I don't find him so, but he turns heads!) But since I've known him, he got all the girls. Every year, he kept a steady girl on his arm (currently seeing his on-again-off-again girl for 5 years). The topic a/b my sexuality came up many times (at first, I said I don't know but changed that to a definitive YES just last year). I have heard so many wise-cracks on gay people, which started to piss me off (this was before I came out; I figured he was going to taunt it out of me).

My other gay friends told me he covers up by keeping the "beards" around, or he is scared to come out unless I did. Which I DID, but it is getting more complicated.

BTW: He is a DENNIS RODMAN FANATIC, watches reruns of WILL AND GRACE religiously, loves FLOWERS and STUFFED ANIMALS and envies the body/face of TAYE DIGGS!!!!! :confused:

I sound very dumb right now, b/c the targets are all red.....but I'm still unsure of where he's coming from after all these years. Maybe b/c I'm newly out, I don't know how to "work it" yet! I've never hit on him, nor do I have the nerve to bluntly ask "do you want me, or what?"


YIKES....he's on the phone now wanting me to ditch work this weekend to go to D.C. with him....

I NEED REINFORCEMENT!](*,)
 
I think you know what to do about your married friend. Sounds like he has his own issues to deal with and you might get caught in the middle of a lot of drama. Best to bow out now. Be nice about it but put some distance between you.

As for your friend, don't make any accusations. They always say the ones who deny it the most are really gay deep down and not dealing with it. He obviously has an affection for you, be it friendship or otherwise, so you're in a good place with him. But if you choose to reach out to him, make sure you do it delicately. If you just come right out and ask him if he's gay it might freak him out and cause him to retreat further back into his closet. If I was in your place I would just tell him that you value his friendship and maybe even hint that if he were gay you would really want to go out with him. Don't make him feel like he has to make some grand decision about who he is right on the spot, but rather open the doors to him so that if he wants to tell you he will feel comfortable to do so.

Kinda makes you wonder what your parents think about when they know you're gay and you haven't told them yet, huh?
 
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