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I watch gay porn exclusively now and I like it in a big way. The more I watch the more I want it all. It used to be only an oral fantasy but somewhere along the way that has changed. Makes me so incredibly horny and the fantasies seem so real that I almost feel like I am already experienced, but I am not. So, what does that tell me? I’ve been trying to figure it out for years.
I’ve been where you are for as long as I can remember. Still no experience with another guy. But, I want it indeed. I’ve asked the same questions and really don’t have an answer.
I watch gay porn exclusively now and I like it in a big way. The more I watch the more I want it all. It used to be only an oral fantasy but somewhere along the way that has changed. Makes me so incredibly horny and the fantasies seem so real that I almost feel like I am already experienced, but I am not. So, what does that tell me? I’ve been trying to figure it out for years.
Well, if that is the case, I’ve been gay for a long time. Way…before I watched porn, even before I ever had sex, all I ever fantasized about when masturbating was playing with another cock, sucking a cock and eating cum. I was very young when I started playing with myself. There was no porn to watch and I had no clue about sex or anything for that matter. I never talked to anyone about it, I just knew I loved playing with my cock. But even then, all I thought about was cock. Unexplainable for me because I was unexperienced with nothing to compare it to. That went on for years before ever having sex with a female as a teenager. I liked it, but when I masturbated, I still fantasized about cock. Through numerous relationships over the years, that has never changed. When I first watched porn it was straight, but I could not focus on anything but the cock. Later, after having internet access to porn I’ve always watched gay porn. It makes me feel like nothing else ever has and I want it more than I can imagine. Even looking at pictures of cocks makes me crazy hot. But, it’s still a just a fantasy. Well, I’ve masturbated and had organisms to gay porn exclusively for a long time. I don’t consider myself gay because I’ve never had sex with a guy. But, maybe that is me being in denial? Because if I ever had the right opportunity to experience all I’ve fantasized about…I would do it over and over again and I would be good at it. Lol. Trust me, it’s all I want, I just want it to be right, and I’m not sure how to begin. Sorry for the long reply. I do appreciate your thoughts…
Sexual orientation isn't about who you're having sex with as much as it is about who you want to have sex with.
Well that might be exactly where I am and have been forever. I have said maybe I’m in denial? But if it’s that strong for so long then you are probably right. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had great sex and good relationships with females, but that’s truly not what I want. I’ve tried it because it seemed to be the normal track. But, there has always been something missing and through those experiences it has made me realize I’ve been fooling myself for years. If it were just a passing thought once in awhile as I think most straight guys probably have had at least a thought or so, it might just be a curiosity. But, for me I’ve “always” wanted sex with another guy. I know what you are saying and it puts it in to perspective pretty clearly to me. As well as the point Thomas80 made regarding watching gay porn and having organisms, which I love so much… I know who I want to have sex with as far as my deepest desires and it is without a doubt another man. I just don’t know “who” that who is. It’s been a long time coming too. I have not had sex with a female in a good long time and that time away from that has really made me realize that i was always forcing something for the sake of conforming to normal expectations. So, I think you guys are totally right. “I am gay”. I finally said it here in writing and I said it out loud to me. No denial anymore. I’m OK with that and I want it more than ever. I appreciate you guys willing to chat about it and I appreciate your thoughts. It’s helped me open my mind to reality or at least admit what I’ve always known. I hope I can find the right situation to make it a real life situation. I’m looking forward to it, but at this point, I don’t know how to find that relationship in a safe way? Any thoughts or ideas for how to proceed ahead would be greatly appreciated as well. Thank you so much. I’m extremely excited and looking forward to moving forward…
Hi, do you find men sexually attractive, do men turn you own? If you want to do all the intimate spiritual mental emotional and physical things that a heterosexual guy does with women, with another man then you identify as a homosexual man.
