justjoshoh
JUB Addict
I don't know how to begin. Well, probably, because I really don't know how to feel.
I used the blogspace last time to write about an issue that I was having. Part of it indicated that I used to talk to an inanimate object as a form of understanding, but I moved to expressing my thoughts on the blog. Sure, it is my only entry in the blog, but I only had an overwhelming amount of emotion that one time, since I found the blog.
This time it is different, I have an underwhelming amount of emotion, and that sort of bothers me.
I learned several hours ago that my grandfather unexpectedly passed away. Faced with the realization of death, I would expect myself to be more sad than I am. I would expect an abundance of emotion like when my grandma passed away, or even my step-grandpa.
There is only a few differences that separate the deaths. My grandfather lives hundreds of miles away, and I can only recall talking to him on the phone (he visited when I was young, but I don't recall the visit). My grandfather was my Dad's father, while the other's were Mom's family and local.
I feel almost guilty not showing the emotion that I did for their deaths, but to be honest I just don't feel as broken. Can distance really play that major a role?
I don't know, maybe it is just because it came as a shock and later the emotions will catch up to me.
I used the blogspace last time to write about an issue that I was having. Part of it indicated that I used to talk to an inanimate object as a form of understanding, but I moved to expressing my thoughts on the blog. Sure, it is my only entry in the blog, but I only had an overwhelming amount of emotion that one time, since I found the blog.
This time it is different, I have an underwhelming amount of emotion, and that sort of bothers me.
I learned several hours ago that my grandfather unexpectedly passed away. Faced with the realization of death, I would expect myself to be more sad than I am. I would expect an abundance of emotion like when my grandma passed away, or even my step-grandpa.
There is only a few differences that separate the deaths. My grandfather lives hundreds of miles away, and I can only recall talking to him on the phone (he visited when I was young, but I don't recall the visit). My grandfather was my Dad's father, while the other's were Mom's family and local.
I feel almost guilty not showing the emotion that I did for their deaths, but to be honest I just don't feel as broken. Can distance really play that major a role?
I don't know, maybe it is just because it came as a shock and later the emotions will catch up to me.