I really really want him!

[rareboy]

Of course there are other guys to like and if not, there are still lots of them out there to fuck.

I suggest making it clear to him and yourself that he isn't the only person in your life and then see whether he develops more intense feelings toward you.

You could always tell him 'the hell with it, let's fuck ourselves silly and get it over with'. You might lose him as a lifelong friend but at least you'll get it out of your system when he dumps you.

Who knows. Once you have your mouth around his dick, he might decide you're the one for him.

 

[Missec]

Hello there,
This is my first post... I'm 19...
Ok, I need your advice... by the way, sorry for my bad English...
I have a love problem. I'm in love with my friend and I don't know what to do. I met him last year, he was hitting on me but I didn't realized it (back than I wasn't sure that I am gay, actually I didn't want to accept the fact that I am gay) so I was looking at him only as a friend. We started exchanging e-mails, chating on MSN... (we couldn't see each other a lot, cuz he works whole day) one day he told me that he's gay, and I was affraid to tell him that I'm too. So a month later I told him. He wasn't surprised, lol. Anyway, we started hanging out even more, became best friends... and I really reallyfall in love with him. He is the first and the only guy that I ever liked. He knows what I fell for him, but he says he doesn't want anything with me because he knows he will destroy our friendship (I know that too, because he is the type of guy with who you get out 2-3 times and than he dumps you, he does that a lot) and he wants to be friend with me 4ever. At first I thought he said that just because he didn't like me and because he didn't wanted to hurt me by saying that, but later on I realized he was telling the truth. Now we are still best friends, I am trying to hide my feeling from him, but sometimes it doesn't work, I get very jealous on his boyfriends (he has a new one each week, lol), but I am keeping that jealousy for my self. So, my question is, what a hell should I do? how to make him to want to be with me? How do I stop loving him but still be best friend with him? or what else should I do? Some people told me to just stop seeing him, but I can't. I am thinking about him 24 hours a day. And there is no other guy that I like. My life is screwed. Help!

This is my 2 cents worth.
Keep him as a friend. I am in a similar friendship. I want my friend so bad that it hurts. I want him as a boyfriend and he doesnt. Over the past 4 years, we have gotten so close. (we have never had sex) I do believe we will be friends for life.
Now after 4 years, I am sure that if we had decided to be bf's, it wouldnt have lasted. True friends are very hard to come by. Keep him as that.

 

[slobone]

If he's already told you he doesn't want to have sex with you, and you're still thinking about him 24 hours a day, you've got a problem. If you continue to try to be his friend in the hopes that he'll change his mind, you're going to make yourself miserable and waste a lot of time for both of you.

Being obsessed with somebody who doesn't feel the same way you do is not an unusual situation -- maybe we've all been there at one time? I know I have.

The only known solution is to cut off all contact with the guy and "get a life." You need to make some new friends and leave this guy alone. It may be painful at first, but in 3 months or so you'll realize it was the right thing to do. Rip off the bandaid.

 

[Rand]

Sorry, but you do not love him, you lust for him. There is nothing wrong with lust, it is a great feeling. But love really is not possessive or jealous; if you really love someone, you think of their pleasure and happiness first.

Lust can develop into love; a loving relationship without lust is hurting. But be truthful to yourself.

 

[spreadeagle]

The situation is painful but the solution is simple.

You can cut him out of your life either now, or later. The drastic, honest, immediate action might appear life-threatening, but already you say the current situation 'is killing you'. It's a choice between getting it over with as quickly as possible or increasing the agony by dragging it out for as long as possible. In either case the outcome will be the same: independent lives - you two are never going to have a sexually fulfilling long-term relationship. So what are you going to do instead? And when?

 

[confusedboy23]

This just reminds me of ME! I was in a similar situation last year. Now it makes me regret having sex with him and being with him - maybe we shouldn't have touched. Maybe we would still be comfortable being friends right now. It's not easy, and I'm still not completely over him yet. If you're anything like me, every other guy you meet, you will tend to compare him with this guy. No one will match up! It will be hard but I think there's still light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still holding hope that one day, whenever that may be - ex lovers can be friends again! Good luck and be strong..........

 

[confusedboy23]

Staying away from him will be very hard, but I think it does help you regain yourself. I have been told that you can cry away your pain and I think it really does help. With every tear from your eyes, a little bit of the hurt flows away. When you've cried yourself out, there will be very little pain but more love. You'll never forget him but you wouldn't want to anyway. Love is a beuatiful thing and that you would want to remember until the day you die. I woudl caution you not to go out there in a huryr looking for another guy, allow yourself time to regain your own self first. In the mantime, keep yourself busy with things that you enjoy.