The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

I really want a gay friend.

O

O7AshC

Joined
May 29, 2012
Posts
19
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hey JUB, I turned 18 few months ago and finally decided to creat an account!

A little background here. So I'm gay, and also out to my whole family and a couple of close friends. My family fully supports me in whatever I want to do. They, unlike most Asians over here, are very open minded on the subject. My friends, for the most part, also accepts and support me.

I've known quite a few gay people in highschool and recently met one or two in my university too. Thing is, none of my closer/good friends are gay; all of them are straight. I know this because I've know them well/long enough; I actually even asked one out only to be rejected of course.

I also can't get along at all with the gay guys that I've met so far(not many, really); they tend to have totally different interests, etc. Don't get me wrong, my straight friends are awesome and accept me for who I am, but I'm starting to feel a little... lonely? in this whole situation. I think it would be great to have a close friend who is gay and it doesn't even have to lead to an intimate relationship.

It's a given that I need to get out more and meet more gay guys. Seemingly, the advice people get a lot is to go to the local gay bar. However, bars/clubs aren't my scene and I'd rather try other alternatives before finally going to a gay bar. Would fully coming out help me meet more gay people? I don't think I'm ready to come out to everyone. How would you all advice me, a student in a relatively small university(3000+ students) in the US with no gay friends/partner, to handle this situation of loneliness? It's doesn't help that my friends/siblings are recently getting into relationships/getting married.
 
Check out if your uni has a LGBT group. That's one place you can start. Or as bizaree as it may be you can always give the internet a shot, I'm sure there is someone on this board who knows some sites that can help.
 
I get how you feel bro. Same here. Your writings are quite descriptive and I can definitely relate to your situation. Since you are only looking for someone to talk to, I don't mind the barrier between us which is the distance. Let me know and we both can engage to get to know each other better. Just letting you know that there is a person who is willing to talk, share and understand. :)
 
epod85 said:
Check out if your uni has a LGBT group. That's one place you can start. Or as bizaree as it may be you can always give the internet a shot, I'm sure there is someone on this board who knows some sites that can help.
Click to expand...

Sadly, my university doesn't have a LGBT group yet. And the idea of meeting people through the internet IS pretty bizarre to me. I've actually considered it though, and some recommendations on sites would be great!

lad21yo said:
I get how you feel bro. Same here. Your writings are quite descriptive and I can definitely relate to your situation. Since you are only looking for someone to talk to, I don't mind the barrier between us which is the distance. Let me know and we both can engage to get to know each other better. Just letting you know that there is a person who is willing to talk, share and understand. :)
Click to expand...

Thanks! I really like how I can talk about my sexuality and joke about it with my family and a couple of my friends. Yet, still unsure if I'm ready to come out to more and more people.
 
hi O7AshC,

Welcome to J U B and great to hear you have a supportive family and that you have accepting friends. Please be aware that you cannot be 'friends' with people around you who are not comfortable that you are gay.

Your question is: How would you all advice me, a student in a relatively small university(3000+ students) in the US with no gay friends/partner, to handle this situation of loneliness?

And you ask us: Would fully coming out help me meet more gay people?

Yes.

So there are around 1500 male students at your university? How many of them are gay? 30? 50? 100? And there are 3000+ students at your university. How many of them have a gay brother / cousin / friend / sport mate / etc? Several hunderd? >1000? Almost all?

Well, finding a nice gay friend at your university is much easier when everyone around you is aware that you are gay. How can this nice gay student at your university find you when you -more or less- hide that you are also gay (and are looking around for a nice gay friend)? Same with getting in touch with a gay friend (etc.) of one of your straight co-students.

So widening your circle as much as possible will improve your chances to find him.

Being open at a university in the US does not mean that you must walk around with a cap with 'I am gay'. Just don't hide that you are gay, make some gay aquaintances, tell your friends that its not a secret that you are gay, and soon you don't bother anymore (as you assume that people will be aware that you are gay).

Hey, and you might even think about starting a LGBT group. I mean, you already knew alot of gay people at your high school (apparently you were not totally closeted at your highschool?).

What's the real issue that you have the idea that you are not yet ready to come out to more and more people?

Take care and feel free to react.

Best wishes.
 
Are there other schools in the area that might have a LGBT association? Otherwise be as open as possible at your school and begin by joining a club or two and begin networking.
 
Sorry for posting so late, I've been pretty busy with my summer job.

When I get back to uni the coming semester, I plan to come out to more friends and people. I guess this would be a good start. Can't expect to meet more gay people unless I'm out right? =)

Currently, I have no idea if there are any LGBT associations in other schools in the area. I'll have to look it up.
 
Don't stress out too much about it. These things have a way of happening naturally. You just turned 18 and are off to a great and bright future. Just be safe (some of those boys have cooties) and you'll find yourself to be very popular. :)
 
Thanks! =)

Currently, I'm taking everything slowly and focusing a lot on school so at least I have some distractions. I was pretty popular in high-school, but only with girls, sadly. Only 2 guys were interested in me, not many, compared to the 8 or so girls! I was(and still am) closeted for the most part. The only people who know are the ones that I'm closest with.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top