Darlin', that's the key, right there. It's the key to every problem you've brought with you to JUB. You might think you respect yourself, but if the bottom line is that you hate yourself, then you really don't know the first thing about truly respecting yourself.
I remember you posting in a thread where people were talking about being a doormat. And here's another key, as trite as it might sound: You can only be a doormat as long as you lay down and take it. You wonder why nice guys always seem to end up last, but it's not nice guys that do; it's guys who don't stand up for themselves when they should. It's guys who don't assert themselves to go for what they truly want, and let themselves want what they can actually have.
What the hell could be so bad about you that you have to hate yourself? Have you tortured puppies? Do you rape schoolchildren? Do you murder helpless old women in their sleep? Because hatred should be reserved for those individuals who truly are the worst of the worst. Can you honestly say that's what you are?
You seem to have a good heart. That's such an important place to start. How about using it to care more about yourself?
