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I suppose I can share my story...

IntoEternity

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It's not all too eventful, but I'll share for anyone who's interested. It's a lengthy story, so I don't expect everyone to read it, but it's there if you want to, lol.

I'm a 19 year old Asian guy, and I suppose my 'coming out struggle' began close to the end of high school (I'm now in my second year of university). I don't even remember why, but I started talking to a girl who was a year older than I. She was friends with a girl who was dating a friend of mine a few years previous. We were sort of friends but not much past having a class or two together. Then she graduated and started university and blah blah blah. Anyway, we got together and chatted and caught up and everything, and after hanging out a few times I decided to tell her I was gay. I don't even know why; I guess it was just something I had to get off my chest. The first thing she said was, "COOL!" haha. So that was a great first reaction.

Fast forward a few months, I was at a party where basically all the seniors go out to a field and get drunk. I told a handful of people, some took it well and some didn't. They weren't really important, as I wasn't really great friends with any of the kids I was graduating with, and I was moving away for university. I don't really regret it, but it probably wasn't the best idea. Ah well. Live and learn.

Now, moving away for university. It was a pretty big thing obviously, but even moreso because I was moving from Saskatchewan to Ontario. I wanted to come out to my parents, and also coming into university gave me a chance to start fresh. I could be completely out at the start and no one would know I was in the closet just a few days previous. Well, I chickened out on both. It's not that I pretended to be straight or anything; it was just sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of thing. No one really asked, so I didn't tell. Well, all of the friends that I lived in the dorms with turned out to be REALLY good friends. I was pretty much roommates with around 8 of us. We all hung out every day and drank and partied on the weekends, just because we could.

Well, January came and all of us went on co-op term. It was probably in April when I decided I had to tell someone. I had probably 2 beers at that point, and I wasn't really drunk, just feelin' it a bit. I was texting one of the guys already, and I decided, "Hell, I'll just say it." And I did. He thought someone was fucking around with my phone, so he logged onto MSN and asked me again, there, and he STILL thought someone was fucking with my stuff. He eventually accepted it after a couple minutes of conversation, and I was happy that at least someone in the circle of friends knew.

Summer came around, and it was time for me to be in school again (yeah, the co-op kinda throws things around weirdly). There was a party one night, halfway through the term, where I, again, drunkenly told two more of the guys in my circle of friends. They were both the two kids I thought would have the worst reaction, but they both were actually really supportive and everything. Then I told another guy two weeks later, I think? He kind of just stared at me when I told him, waiting for a response. Then, he said, "I'm still trying to figure out whether or not you're fucking around with me." I assured him I wasn't, and then he said, "Well, that makes sense I guess... I mean, I was wondering why you left a party to go sleep when there were supposed to be a ton of hot chicks sleeping there!" He made a joke about me being a super minority, which made me laugh. Then, I told another guy (one of my actual roommates) the night before my second final, I think it was. Overall, no bad responses because I suppose I'm aware and I choose my friends well?

Anyway, the term ends and I go back home because I didn't find a job for my work term. No big deal, school was actually really stressful and I don't mind a break. That brings us to now, actually, where I'm on my term off lol. A few weeks ago, my curiosity kind of comes up. I hadn't had any sort of sexual experience up to that point, so I decide to browse Manhunt. I get to chatting, and whatnot, and a week later I had sex. This kinda gets me thinking that I really want to be out to my parents (not that I'd tell them I had sex with a guy from the internet or anything).

The opportunity came up when my mom was talking about babysitting my sister's kid. She said something like, "Wouldn't you want me to look after your kids when you grow up?" and then I said, "Well, I'm probably not going to have kids... or get married." Her, being quite Catholic, said things like how I have to change the way I am, and then eventually she said I shouldn't have any relationships if I can't change. After some more arguing, she decided she was going to ignore it and I think she hopes it'll eventually go away. So, not the best reaction, but it could have been much worse. Things haven't changed around the house, probably because she's ignoring it. Ah well, I think it's just that she needs time to absorb it. Whether or not she eventually accepts it is future IntoEternity's problem. :D This all happened last week. Yesterday, I ended up telling my brother over MSN, and things went well on that front. He cracked a couple jokes and he seems to be okay with it. I just have my Dad and the rest of my siblings to tell, but that'll all come with time.
 
Thanks for sharing your story with us here :D. All in all it sounds like a positive experience and everyone took it well for the most part.

My parents are Catholic like yours, but they were completely accepting of me and didn't suggest I'd "change"or anything after I thought about it. You know you didn't choose to be gay any more than they chose to be straight. We are what we are and that's all there is to it. Once your mom thinks more about it, she'll most likely realize that and will of course love you because you're her son.

As for your dad and siblings, I can't speak to their reactions, but you sound pretty strong-willed and I think you'll do just fine :kiss:.

Keep us posted as the story continues.


Oh and also, welcome to Jub! (*W*)
 
Coming from a Catholic family myself I weighed the good and bad reactions that could result from my parents. Turns out everything went well, and mom dwelled a bit on not having grandchildren too (I think its just the maternal thing), but she got over it pretty quickly. Needless to say, Congrats!
 
Heh, thanks for the great welcome. But yeah, I guess I didn't mention it, but my dad's not really religious, so that's why I think there won't be much of a problem on that front, but we'll have to see... My parents also have 3 grandkids already, so there's no issue there. It'll all come with time.
 
Awesome. Thanks for sharing. I hope it goes well with your dad. It sounds like it will. And it sounds like you have some great and supportive friends. That makes a world of difference/

Congrats!
 
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