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.... I think I'm in Love

S

SilentbutSweet64

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I cannot stop thinking about this guy and wanting to be with him so bad. He's such a great guy and have a lot of fun hanging out and talking with him. The only problem is that he doesn't want to have a relationship with another guy. He's going back to women.
I had a friend tell me that maybe he's just afraid to be with a guy.

I've talked to him and he's told me he dated a few guys. I end up jealous of those guys cause they got to be with this man. And now he's got a girlfriend and I'm stuck here thinking and hurting everyday. How she could go over his place whenever and there wont be a problem. She can spend the night at his place, kiss whenever they wanted to, go out together and talk to each other whenever. I try not to think about it but when I do It hurts and I break down cause I want this guy so bad. I never thought about being with a guy but I really got to know him. I trust him and feel comfortable with him. And the only thing I wanted from him was a chance. And I think it's all my fault.

I blame myself everyday because I tell him how I feel all the time and he said he wasn't looking for a relationship. I was ok with that, maybe if I just gave him some time or something, he would change his mind. But then he asked me all these questions and told me that he's seeing a girl. And to this day I don't understand why?!
He said he didn't want a relationship so whats the deal?! And I think it's my fault for pushing my feelings on to him and making him not want to be with a guy or just me!

I've tried to just not think about everything so much and you know find someone who would want to be with me. So I've been talking to this guy for a while who lives close to my hometown and I like him and he likes me. And I can't wait to see this guy... I think by seeing him and hanging out with him I wont think about the other guy so much....

BUT, everything reminds me of him. Every where I go I think about him and just want to break down and cry because I can't handle it. I just want the chance to be with this man. I can't see him being with anyone else. I want him to be happy, I really do.

I don't know what to do anymore. I've always told him how I felt through texts and sometimes over the phone. But never face to face and that's something I want to do if I see him again. I want to look him in the eyes and tell him how I feel. That he doesn't have to be afraid and that we can work things out if he gave me a CHANCE...

And I know there are going to be some comments telling me to just say fuck this guy and find someone else..... But Im trying.

EDIT: We recently go together on Friday and hangout. Went to his place and went to the pool and had some good laughs. Back to his apartment and had a few beers. I listened and watched him play his guitar. Went to pick his bike up from the shop, went shopping for some food. Got back to his place and had some more beers and more guitar playing. I ended up staying at his place cause I had a few beers and wasn't going to drive home. I wanted to sleep in his bed but he was to worried about his roommate and his girlfriend stopping by in the morning if she did. So I slept on his uncomfortable couch. Doesn't matter though cause I was happy to stay at his place. I couldn't really sleep and woke up early. Got up and walked into his room and laid down in his bed waiting for him to wake up. He got up made some breakfast for us before getting ready to go to work. There was a moment when he was sitting on his bed and I was thinking about going behind him and just cuddling up against him. I started to massage him and rest my head on his back. It felt so good to do it. I wanted to just hold him tight and never let go. He go up though and left to check on the food and I was just sitting there like "Crap, guess its over" I had an amazing time with him. Helping wash the dishes for him, putting the groceries away, helping him get his bike back and just spending time with him. I want to have that everyday though. I want to be able to do things like this with him for the rest of my life and enjoy being with him. I just want that chance.
 
Waste of time! Stop accepting crumbs of attention. He doesn't love you. You deserve better. The sooner you get away from this train wreck the better.
 
Yeah. Commitaphobes I really hate but can understand, however difficult it may be. But when they are also conflicted about their sexuality, it's a huge NO-NO. Been there, done that, got depressed, suffered, cried, got bored, moved on. You can be smarter than me and skip to the last step right away.
 
I can't imagine the pain, I know it must be very hard! Very tough! Then again your actions is very selfish, he doesn't want to be in a relationship with guys and in a way you're kinda forcing that on him just so you can be happy is just plain selfish. The best thing you can is be friends with him, be happy for him that he's happy. Most people are probably going to say "Stay away from him, staying around him will make the pain worst " but what are the chances of you actually taking that advice? Just don't force anything out of him, just be a good friend and maybe someday it'll turn out great for the both of you :)
 
Jo-thin said:
I can't imagine the pain, I know it must be very hard! Very tough! Then again your actions is very selfish, he doesn't want to be in a relationship with guys and in a way you're kinda forcing that on him just so you can be happy is just plain selfish. The best thing you can is be friends with him, be happy for him that he's happy. Most people are probably going to say "Stay away from him, staying around him will make the pain worst " but what are the chances of you actually taking that advice? Just don't force anything out of him, just be a good friend and maybe someday it'll turn out great for the both of you :)
Click to expand...

I know and thats another thing, I don't want to come off as being selfish and Im trying not to. But hear what your saying. That's what we are now, just trying to get through it and its not easy obviously.
 
Welcome to JUB. You've got it bad and I feel for you. I don't know quite what to write because it seems like you are willing to hold onto hope. I don't things will change until you hurt even more and I'm sorry to write that. There's a big world out there and I hope you will soon take advantage of it.

I think a lot of people mistake kindness and friendship for love. There is help for you if things take a worse turn and you begin not to function. Therapy is an option as is a 12-step program called SLAA, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. I hope it doesn't come to that and I hope you continue staying active and are willing to meet new people.

Good luck to you.
 
Im kinda in the same situation but probably not as extreme. I suggest you move on and QUICK! Before it becomes you're obsession. There is a time we have to realize that there are around 6 billion people on the planet and there is more than JUST one right person for each of us.
 
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