Okay so I met my ex on a4a because I'm not out. In the beginning he was ok with it and promised he'd be patient but we didn't last two months because he was starting to get bored because we lived so far apart and I wasn't out. He claims he still has feelings for me but he's just scared because I'm not comfortable with myself but had we been around each other more I know we would be together and that's the problem. I shouldn't want to be with him because from the beginning he has never kept his word. The first time I met him he had a bottle of KY in the front seat but he didn't think I'd saw it. I overlooked because he's in college and I was like maybe he just keeps it here to hide it from his roomate.
I've told him in the past I always get cheated on and he said "well guys have needs" that was a huge red flag but because I'm so dumb I overlooked it. I confronted him about staying on a4a after he told me he was going to bed one night and to appease me and "help him" he deleted his page and I deleted mine. Well 2 weeks later he created another page and I suspected he would so I created a ghost page. He ended up telling me about it before I could confront him so he earned trust points back. So we decided to have an open relationship and he gave me his a4a password but 3 weeks after that he changed it so he could look for sex alone but I was still logged in his page so I could read the messages he sent. All he had to do was tell me when he was going to have sex but he never told me anything and from the sounds of the convos he was having it wasn't the first time he went looking for sex without telling me. We ended up because "he couldn't deal with me being closeted" but he still wants to be friends so we can work it out in the future when I'm ready.
But he also told me if a guy comes along that he likes he's not going to hold himself back. I feel stupid because I'm trying to be his friend but I don't know if I should, I feel like a placeholder. And he reassures me that he cares and all that but I don't believe him. I want to be his friend because I need gay friends and he's the only one I'm out to. But at the same time I feel it isn't healthy and I just need advice.
Should I cut off all communication with him or be a friend from a distance till my feelings are gone?
I've told him in the past I always get cheated on and he said "well guys have needs" that was a huge red flag but because I'm so dumb I overlooked it. I confronted him about staying on a4a after he told me he was going to bed one night and to appease me and "help him" he deleted his page and I deleted mine. Well 2 weeks later he created another page and I suspected he would so I created a ghost page. He ended up telling me about it before I could confront him so he earned trust points back. So we decided to have an open relationship and he gave me his a4a password but 3 weeks after that he changed it so he could look for sex alone but I was still logged in his page so I could read the messages he sent. All he had to do was tell me when he was going to have sex but he never told me anything and from the sounds of the convos he was having it wasn't the first time he went looking for sex without telling me. We ended up because "he couldn't deal with me being closeted" but he still wants to be friends so we can work it out in the future when I'm ready.
But he also told me if a guy comes along that he likes he's not going to hold himself back. I feel stupid because I'm trying to be his friend but I don't know if I should, I feel like a placeholder. And he reassures me that he cares and all that but I don't believe him. I want to be his friend because I need gay friends and he's the only one I'm out to. But at the same time I feel it isn't healthy and I just need advice.
Should I cut off all communication with him or be a friend from a distance till my feelings are gone?
you were looking for different things in life. I'm glad you get rid of that.
. You don't screw the good ones over