I told my parents.

[CrackerJack]

I was on vacation in Canada, and on the last night, we were having a really nice dinner. Basically, I just said it... it was on the tip of my tounge the entire trip, and then I just kinda said "I think I'm gay...". It was similar experience to crapping my pants... I knew it was coming, but then it just plopped out before I could control it. It certainly was not that "load off of my shoulders" feeling I had anticipated. I felt worse than ever.

Anyways, we talked about it a little for the rest of dinner, but it was awkward. The following day, we kind of acted like nothing had happened, and the awkwardness continued. I basically went off on my own, and kept finding myself asking "what the fuck did I do?".

However, on the way home (about 10 hour car ride), a conversation about the incident was inevitable. My dad did indeed bring it up. I was trying to shoo him off at first, but he kept at it. I'm actually really glad he did. My parents and I had a good conversation.

My dad is completely for it. He was being completely open minded, understanding, and really made me feel comfortable about it. My mom was freaking out a bit. She is extremely concerned about AIDS, to the point where she broke out in tears while driving. My dad was trying to explain to her that AIDS/other STDs are really now an issue for everyone, not just gays. It didn't really help. She is clearly a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing (but thankfully it's mostly due to my health, not because God hates gas or anything along those lines). Her view of the whole homosexual lifestyle is definately a bit stereotypical, and she definately has a predjudice that she is trying to hide.

I was actually surprised about the whole thing. I honestly expected my mom to be completely for it and not really care either way, while I expected my dad to be the one who was concerned about health risks (he plays it extremely safe in everything in life). They will both get used to it, I'm sure.

Overall, I'm pretty happy about the experience. It was extremely difficult and scary, but it had to be done. The worst damage done was that I lost my appetite and didn't eat my $50 dinner.

 

[looseliam]

I think this calls for some dancing bananas

I love it when I see things unfolding smoothly. Congrats!

So, what didn't you eat for dinner? =]

 

[star-warrior]

mg: Congrats on dropping the bombshell.


All the best, and keep us informed of developments. You dad is one cool guy

 

[jackers731]

i av so much repect 4 ya dude!

 

[Yves]

Congrats CrackerJack! Well done. You had a good conversation with your parents and that´s a huge first step and their concerns are more on the health side (STDs) than anything. You can deal with those concerns later. PFLAG has some resources targeted to parents and STDs are a risk for any guy sexually active, gay or straight.

You dad looks like a great guy. His reaction must have been a good surprise. Your parents need time. Congrats again.

PFLAG: http://www.pflag.org/

 

[Eagle653]

IIt was similar experience to crapping my pants... I knew it was coming, but then it just plopped out before I could control it.

Oh my!

I don't think I've ever heard it described like this before. Well, at least you got it out!

Congratulations, too. Sometimes the ol' bombshell creates some awkward tension for a while. But, I'm glad you and your parents got to talk it out on the long drive back. Your mother will come around--it helps, considerably, that your dad is there to help her and talk to her too.

Good job!

 

[Soilwork]

as far as that "Load off your shoulders" thing.

it's not always immediately... but in a few days once they all adjust and its' no longer that freaky thing, it will be.

What you need to do for your mother is explain that STDs aren't caused by being gay... STDs are generally viruses that are passed through sexual activity, and since you're planning on finding just one guy and settling down with him (lie if you have to.. there are a few things that even *I* woudln't tell my mother), it's really not going to be the terrifying issue for you that it would be for other gay guys.

 

[doctorsun]

Your father sounds awesome. Your mother seems to have some issues with stereotyping. Quite frankly, she's being really ignorant about it. This isn't the '80s. The whole gay=AIDS thing is not only wrong, but really insulting. Find some literature about AIDS and other STDs and have her read it and then have a discussion. She needs to be reassured that you're at no greater risk to AIDS or other STDs than anyone else.

She'll come around, especially with your father being completely on your side.

 

[Riverrick]

Great! Congratulations. That was very brave of you.

Your parents are coming along already. So cool.

Good advice from Soilwork.

 

[Steppenwolf]

Congratulations. It only gets better from here.

 

[slobone]

I think you also need to consider the possibility that AIDS isn't the real reason your mother is upset. She may be thinking, OMG and here I was looking forward to my son marrying a nice girl and settling down and giving me grandchildren, and now all that's out the window.

She may just be using her concern about AIDS as a cover because she doesn't want to get into the other stuff.

So give her time to get used to the idea, and then maybe in a while -- six months, a year -- you can have another talk with her. Maybe just the two of you, and see if you can get her to tell you how she really feels.

But wait a while for that.

 

[luminum]

Good for you, man

 

[CrackerJack]

I think you also need to consider the possibility that AIDS isn't the real reason your mother is upset. She may be thinking, OMG and here I was looking forward to my son marrying a nice girl and settling down and giving me grandchildren, and now all that's out the window.

She may just be using her concern about AIDS as a cover because she doesn't want to get into the other stuff.

So give her time to get used to the idea, and then maybe in a while -- six months, a year -- you can have another talk with her. Maybe just the two of you, and see if you can get her to tell you how she really feels.

But wait a while for that.

I have siblings, so the grandchildren thing is probably not much of an issue. She has been acting strange, however. There has been tension since, and she has said some [unintentionally] hurtful things. I do think AIDS is a genuine concern of hers, however. I'll let you guys know what happens...

Thanks for the comments everyone!