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I truly feel for guys who have their lives planned out

yourally

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You know the type:

-Maybe he slept with you a few times, but is getting engaged or has a girlfriend

-He experimented with you a couple of times, but never mentions it again or cuts you off

-Or he's well known with the gay escorts, but maintains his "straightness" publicly

-or simply tried to touch you when you slept over


Whatever the situation, you know he's turned on by men, but would never come out.

He might be the "golden" boy, been with the same girlfriend for a number of years and will get married, settle down, have kids...everything planned out for him.

If he came out, it'd throw a wrench into everything, his family would disown him due to religious beliefs or simply ignorance, it'd be a huge scandal, because "nobody knew" and his reputation as the player, ladies man or bachelor or being "so desired" would be torn away. Or maybe they'd sweep it under the rug and get him a "beard". If he got caught, he would DENY, DENY, DENY even with concrete proof and never be straight about it.

They're the ones who grow up to be politicians and preachers being outspoken on the horrors of homosexuality, yet get caught up in a gay scandal somewhere along the line.

The ones who are married with children and step out, and their wife knows, but think it's another woman.

The ones who would laugh at or point, or even brutalize a flamboyant, openly gay guy.

I know too many of them, so...this can be a place to share stories, advice, whatever.

I'm not one of them because I plan to move out and cut my family off and live my life.

Thoughts? Having my life dictated by society, or by my family's or "friends" expectations sounds horrible.
 
Well, I'm not judging anyone. We face different prejudices, different internal fears. However, if the discomfort of you being out outweighs the discomfort of being honest with yourself and the world - well, the choice is yours, isn't it? Nobody's life is really FORCED on them. Not today, not in the western world.
 
boy, that sounded like so many guys that I have fooled around with that, for me, that is just part of the norm anymore. most of the guys I play with are underground/closeted and would never come out. I get a snarky smug grin tho when I see him with his wife or girlfriend out in public and he keeps glancing over at me making eye contact, and she has no idea! Once he introduced me to his wife, that was one of my best acting roles yet.
 
I don't like them. They get more dick than me yet receive the benefits of straight society. I get they're tormented inside - so be it. But if it were up to me I'd expose every one of these cowards/hypocrites.
 
boy, that sounded like so many guys that I have fooled around with that, for me, that is just part of the norm anymore. most of the guys I play with are underground/closeted and would never come out. I get a snarky smug grin tho when I see him with his wife or girlfriend out in public and he keeps glancing over at me making eye contact, and she has no idea! Once he introduced me to his wife, that was one of my best acting roles yet.

Yeah, that's classy - making some innocent bitch into a fool behind her back...
 
I fooled around with a guy for a couple of years that has a kid and is engaged. I always wondered how in the hell he could be with another guy then act like nothing ever happened. Denial? Who knows and at this point, who the hell cares! To each their own.... BUT I guess it is funny to see.
 
If people discover their sexuality once they have already had kids and have been married for a while, they can often see it as a way of preserving the mental welfare of their kids/family. However, I have always felt it is best to be honest than live in a fairytale.

I don't tell people my sexuality in public (or even with most of my friends) because it is none of their business, however if they ask I won't hide in a lie.

Just remember people, nothing is a constant (or should be) except change and death, they are the two things that you can be assured of and you should never deny them.
 
The only person we can change is ourselves. For every sneaky person there are dozens more who are willing to enable. The world is full of people having affairs and one night stands while married or in relationships. Everyone faces consequences for their actions and inactions. Since I'm not Santorum I won't insist that everyone live according to my sense of morality. People that seemingly have "it all," may or may not.

Some sex partners hook up in less time then they'd spend picking out socks and underwear when getting dressed. Sometimes we chose to believe what we're told because we want to.

PS As a former sneak I can report that my internal life didn't match my external life.
 
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