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I want a 3sum but my BF doesn't.

C

cumwhore

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I agree...you are trying to fix a problem that you have with him by bringing in someone else.

It will fail and the fact that you are already bored after only being together for 9 months pretty much shows that you are doomed to fail.

You should let him go if you want to slut around.
 
I know this scenario all too well. One bf wants an open relationship while the other bf does not. So the playful one ends up cheating and lying to his bf by sleeping around behind his back. I've been both and you can't have your cake and eat it too.

For starters , you've only been together 9 months and you want to fool around with other guys in a 3way
but he is not wanting that and has made it clear that your fucking around in the past a lot upsets him and the fact that you were his first is a problem too. He needs to get out there and explore life ,he's a bit prudish and needs to meet/date other people. You need to be single so you can have that sexual fun you crave . you may decide that you're not able to commit to just one man sexually -a lot of men can't and there is nothing wrong with that , have fuck buddy or cuddle pal without strings so that way your not hurting him and you can still enjoy your fun and have those 3 ways. Down the road you might change, you might not but at least you can be honest with men about your desires.Good Luck
 
I think you have some existing sexual issues in the relationship if when you have sex he has no interest in helping you get off.

Also agree that you should fix that before bringing in others.
 
TopGear said:
thanks for the posts guys, I guess I'm just not ready for a relationship but the thing is I don't want an open relationship, I don't want to sleep with other men without my bf, I wouldn't do anything with another guy without him. I want to have fun with him but I don't think it will ever happen and I'm afraid of loosing him.

I don't even want him to go off with other guys, and I don't want just anyone to touch him (very jealous) that's why it would have to be with someone we both feel comfortable with and we both agree upon.

But alas it will probably never happen...

even though he has said we will have to see what happens. (forgot to add that to the first post)
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well, it doesn't sound good, you're too hung up on sex and not what's important to make a relationship work. I was in a similar situation with a guy , he was hung up on sex and hot 3ways while we were dating , kept asking me if I thought this or that guy was hot ,trying to get me to say something and then he would say hey ever thought about a hot 3way ,that guy is hot. I said no ,and he said why not and i said because I dont, we'd been dating 5 months and he just was hung up on it, like you wanting your bf to fuck around with a guy in a 3way. I ended it , it wasnt fair to me and he needed to go off on his own so he could fuck around. It's not healthy or fair for you or your bf to continue this relationship when it's obvious that your not on the same page. Time to move on . Take care and good luck
 
just cus you like it does not mean he does, and if you really love him then you would respect his wishes as he yours. You can never force someone to do what they dont want. But it is a sure way of end a relationship if you do it behind his back and or if you continue to pressure him .

Think about it......
 
I'd say it's time you told him you're making the relationship an open one.

Lex
 
From the years I have read this board, this thread should serve as a lesson to every gay man.

If you are going to get into a relationship and love somebody, the sex better be compatible. Time and time again relationships have tried to use 3-somes as a crutch to solve the problems in the bedroom. It doesn't work that way. Don't set yourself up for heartache dating a guy and already have doubts about the sex you're having.
 
relationships based on sex never work. That's why after so many months most of em burn out and the ones that don't become open.
 
An impulse to have a threesome is often an impulse to introduce chaos into a relationship in order to sabotage it. You're already having problems, and you're wanting to bring in a third? You're the jealous type--what if your boyfriend showed better staying power with another guy? What if he really enjoyed fucking someone else, or let someone else top him when you can't?

Recipe for disaster--why do you feel the need to bring in more chaos?
 
bigwhiskers65 said:
relationships based on sex never work. That's why after so many months most of em burn out and the ones that don't become open.
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I'm not saying a relationship based on sex will only work. I am saying a relationship based only on love/comfort won't.
 
Well Gear.

From where I sit, your relationship is already over.

So why not wind it up and get out while you both have some fond memories.

Sometimes these things work. Sometimes not. This is one of those not times.
 
bigwhiskers65 said:
relationships based on sex never work. That's why after so many months most of em burn out and the ones that don't become open.
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What f*cking bullshit!

Most relationships are built on sex.

And if you believe otherwise, you are doomed to poor or non-existent relationships.
 
If you're not willing to stay with him and him alone, then you're not ready for a relationship.
 
>>>If you're not willing to stay with him and him alone, then you're not ready for a relationship.

Wrong. If you're not willing to stay with one guy, then you're not ready for a monogamous relationship. Plenty of people live extremely happy lives in open relationships.

Lex
 
Killjoke said:
An impulse to have a threesome is often an impulse to introduce chaos into a relationship in order to sabotage it. You're already having problems, and you're wanting to bring in a third?
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I find that the occasional threesome relieves tension between the both of us.
 
Personally I have no problem with the threesome, or the open relationship.

But you have to be mature and secure enough to handle it, you have to set your boundaries and stick to them, and you have to absolutely trust each other and have plenty of self confidence, otherwise, you're asking for trouble.

He doesn't want to do this, you do - sucks to be you but his feelings are as important as yours, and if he doesn't want it, pushing him into it is a sure way to end your relationship.
 
NineOfClubs said:
What f*cking bullshit!

Most relationships are built on sex.

And if you believe otherwise, you are doomed to poor or non-existent relationships.
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You're not understanding what I typed ,you're being rather ignorant. I didn't write that most relationships don't start off with sexual attraction and hot sex - that's how most start . But if your going to go beyond just having sex and sharing a life with someone and all you have in common is sex ,it's most likely not going to last - I know ,I've been there and lived it as have a ton of my friends. After several months go by ,maybe even a year or two,you discover that as soon as you leave the bedroom,you have nothing in common and you're bored . 9/10 times - one or both guys will try and meet someone more interesting ,start cheating and then it's over.
.You can also be in an open relationship but you both need to be on the same page and there is so much that goes into that , trust,boundaries,love, I mean in an open relationship - it's more than just the fact that you and your partner are open to sex with others. you're in a relationship and again if both of you don't have anything more in common than the sex ,you won't survive in an open one either and most guys I know in open relationships were together for years before they went that route.
. In the OP's case -they are not on the same page ,they haven't even been together a year and he wants a 3-way but his partner does not - sounds a lot like a relationship where sex is the only thing that they have in common ,there is nothing else. Sex is not love and the partner I sense feels trapped and like he's being forced into something he doesn't want to do. I have been in that situation and I got out of it. The OP I think needs to go out and sew his oats and not worry about a relationship at this point. He is not ready or able to do so. Go out and enjoy and let the other guy find someone more compatible with him.
 
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