I want a boyfriend

[JayQueer]

I would like your input.

My name is JayQueer and I'm looking for a boyfriend.

But the problem is...........I'm a fat hairy brown Indian man & I'm submissive, and I have a big booty. I'm not too good looking either

I'm not asking for too much. I want to find my dream man, settle down and have my happily ever after. I prefer a masculine man who is clean-cut, a stable career, and prefers to be dominant and be the Top!

I'm tired of being an ugly duckling. I want to be a swan!!

All the gay men in West Hollywood & L.A. have perfect gym-toned bodies, perfect hair, nice clothes, fabulous lives. They live in this perfect world of endless summer pool parties, evening soirees and Sunday brunches.

I went to several gay bars tonight in WeHo and I tried talking to a couple guys (one white guy, one Latino or Italian-looking guy) but they both abruptly left after a couple minutes. I asked one for his number or email and he told me that he didn't want to give it to me because he's from out-of-town??

Then finally this really cute white guy (athletic with blonde spiked hair) approached me and my heart LITERALLY skipped a beat. Then he told me that the restroom was dirty and I needed to clean it !?! I was confused until I realized that he thought I was one of the janitors!!



I'm almost 30 years old and I still haven't had my first kiss!

(sigh)

How can I meet relationship-minded masculine men who are looking for something special & serious??

Any suggestions?

 

[Disturbance]

You already know the source of your problems.

Get fit, go out, get lucky.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I'm a fat hairy brown Indian man & I'm submissive, and I have a big booty. I'm not too good looking either

I'm not asking for too much. I want to find my dream man, settle down and have my happily ever after. I prefer a masculine man who is clean-cut, a stable career, and prefers to be dominant and be the Top!

You have a specific list of things that you want. Others have their list, too.

Part of being attractive has a lot to do with self-image. On your list of short-comings are several things that you can change. Perhaps if you work on changing those things- both physical and social- your self-image will improve and others will perceive you in a different way.

 

[aaggii]

You fit into the bear/chub category, where besides being bigger, if you add brown skin to it, you are a catch. Join some sites for folks who fall into this scene, there are a lot of chasers out there!

 

[nycguydowntown]

Well first thing is you have to lower your expectations and not be as shallow as the gay guys you describe. That means falling in love with a guy based on him being a good guy and treating you well--and not what he looks like---or how old he is---or if he has a perfect body and blond hair or whatever---and you should be looking where aaggil ^^^^said to look. And don't talk politics on your first date lol

 

[HunterM]

You need to work on your self-confidence/self-image FIRST. Assess what you can do to improve to a better version of yourself. Do you think you are a good catch? If not, start working on areas of your life that you have control to improve them. Put a plan together and start making those changes for the next 3 months or 6 months. Don't wait.

Try dating sites (not hookup sites).

What do you do for fun that most people can relate to? What are you passionate about that can relate to most people? For example, if you LOVE quantum physics passionately...most people in any bar would NOT be interested. Therefore, you cannot relate to them. Or join a gay group who are interested in quantum physics for you to share your passion.

Most people can relate to traveling because everyone takes vacations. Keep exploring new cities on your own or with friends so you have stories to tell when meeting new people. Get new hobbies so you can meet different groups of people...make new friends.

If you want to get into a better shape physically, hire a personal trainer to guide you there. Develop a habit to eat healthier to keep the weight off. Having a personal trainer will make you more accountable in your training. He/she will help you set goals and chart progress.

Make your life interesting for yourself...to build self-confidence. If you feel confident about yourself, it will come across as positive vibes in your interaction to people. Self-confidence attracts people.

 

[SC6201]

1) You have a self imposed unrealistic set of expectations that is creating an unobtainable goal while passing up other potential candidates that you could fall in live with.

2) Would you date yourself?...sounds like no. If you hate yourself, you will never be able to have someone love you. Work on your self confidence...I don't mean a full body transformation to turn you into a Greek God...cuz that ain't gonna happen...but of you are not comfortable if you own skin that will keep people away.

 

[Seasoned]

Do you have some internalized racism going on? Have you bought into the advertising bullshit of what constitutes beauty? Happiness can't come without contentment. Why would you expect someone to love you if you don't love you? You've thrown out some adjectives when describing yourself. Work with what you've got at the present time. Hairy, for example, can easily be changed, however, as already mentioned, some guys are into that. Besides that, you can do something about weight, or not. The right hairstyle and the clothing and cut of the clothing can enhance your image. It's amazing what posture can do for a person's self image.

Every time you pass a mirror take time to look at your image and say, I love myself; I accept myself." Eventually you'll believe it.

Why do you want a boyfriend? If the answer is to make you feel better about yourself, you've got it backwards. Feel better about yourself and the boyfriend is likely to come along.

 

[Disturbance]

Only good advice in this thread. Take them.

 

[Granite]

Which gay bars in WeHo are you speaking of? Given your body type are you going to the bear bars?

 

[JayQueer]

Which gay bars in WeHo are you speaking of? Given your body type are you going to the bear bars?

Micky's, Gym, Eleven, Pump, the Abbey.

I don't know where the bear bars are?

 

[eastofeden]

Are you assuming that the rejection is based on your appearance and not on your personality or your vibe?

Would you reject someone who looked and acted like you do?

 

[lambdaboy]

Not everyone can be a movie star but if you do not improve what you got you ain't got nothing!