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I want to meet a friend...

0blivion

0blivion

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Hey everyone,

I, am a VERY shy person. I hardly talk in school and I never hang out with friends after school...I don't know why, I guess it is just not me. I was wondering if anyone has any hints for shyness and how to get over them...I know this is probably not the place to post this, but whatever. Oh, and does anyone live near Ottawa, Canada that would want to hook-up ;)
 
You'll learn to overcome your shyness as you get older if you consciously put an effort into it. Step out of your comfort zone, put in effort to spend time with your friends. learn how to have conversations with people. Take classes/clubs that will force you to interact with people, like a drama class, even public speaking. You know what to do.
Just realize that theres no point in shyness. Not everyone is watching your every move, so theres no need to be embarassed all the time. If you don't learn to overcome your shyness, you'll never get far in life.
 
i think that shy people just don't hold themselves in high regard. which you should. above absolutely everyone, including your parents, your siblings, your friends, you should hold yourself on your own pedestal. it may sound self-centered and egotistical, but you are the only person you'll ever be. you should be the person you care the most for.

a weak self-image is pretty common though, and everyone feels insecure sometimes. you look young (if that's you in your avatar), maybe even still in high school. i'm only in my early twenties but i can still recall back when i tried to fit in with everyone else, yet still felt disturbed and uncomfortable with myself despite being well liked and having friends who were easy on the eyes. people that age tend to believe in the fallacy that our unique characteristics and traits arent good enough; that other people are more interesting, better looking, cooler. in reality, they might be, because most people are boring, but in a even deeper reality, the people who seem better are almost always *trying* to be. i know i was.

like ridinghorses said, you have to try. trying is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. but it's worth it, 'cause as they say: everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives.
 
oh, i forgot to mention this. but try taking yourself out on a date. i do this myself from time to time.

it sounds crazy. i know it does. my friends make fun of me for it, but it truly is one of the most satisfying things you can do for yourself. get a pen and paper, get all dressed up, go to restaurant and sit at the bar (a table is a little too much, even for psychotic-me), drink a nice glass of wine (maybe even two) and order something special. the ribeye, a lobster tail, something that will make your night worthwhile. while you wait for your food to come, take out the piece of paper and write a love note- to yourself. tell yourself you're awesome, and why you're awesome.

it's really self-absorbed but... whatever. it helps me sleep at night.
 
The more and more you wait the more and more the anxiety will increase. The best thing to do is just do it.

I like the idea of taking yourself out on a date... It doesn't seem that crazy to me, but hell I have the papers to prove that I have been certified crazy...
 
@KissTheSky That is the best idea I have heard in a long time! I do a lot of alone eating due to work travel, but I never thought to take myself out on a date. I do hate eating alone, but I think I am going to give the dating myself thing a try!

~W
 
In relation to the shyness, you are going to hate to hear this but you need to just get out there. You look like you are still in school, but you should go out on a limb and try something really out of character. Join a community theater group ( or not if that is too gay ;) ), play in a pick up sports league, any thing out of your comfort zone.
How about a job? Something where you have to deal with people, not that I would suggest you work in fast food, but it gets you over the shyness real quick.

~W
 
taking yourself on a date isn't very fun but here is a way I have made great friends this way. Volunteer to help local no kill animal shelters with drives or at local shops where they hold awareness booths. Most everyone is very kind and genuine. You can also join a church to meet others your age but that is your choice. the best friends I have made were by chance.
Example: I was called by my cousin becky asking me to help with a church carnival ring toss booth and chris was setting up to work the basketball toss next to us and we were sharing my mini tv to get the rockies score. he has a round butt and was cute at 25 (i was 27 -5 years ago) and we ended up playing poker with some of his other friends that night. I quickly realized he was not gay but he is a great friend who has introduced me to my other even closer friend Sean.
Seriously, think about it.
 
I told you how i feel about you, sadly we're too far apart. i used to feel sorta how you're feeling man, i still do, just a whole lot less i used to. if you don't have a job already, consider getting one. my friend is a cashier at a supermarket and she says she meets a lot of people all the time and even sees them more than once. get a job like that or something where you can enjoy what you do, and still meet a lot of people.

there are many ways to meet new people. if you usually use a car to get you from one place to another, take the bus more often. go to places where there are a lot of people, preferably where people your own age hang out: the gym, park, beach, movie theater, wherever. the possibilities are endless. just try not to be afraid to say "hi, how are you?" to someone and start a conversation. it takes little effort to say something simple to somebody like "it's a nice day isn't it?" or you could come up with something like "do i know you from somewhere?". contrary to what other people said, just get out of your comfort zone.

hope this helps you out :),
Supreme
 
0blivion said:
Hey everyone,

I, am a VERY shy person. I hardly talk in school and I never hang out with friends after school...I don't know why, I guess it is just not me. I was wondering if anyone has any hints for shyness and how to get over them...I know this is probably not the place to post this, but whatever. Oh, and does anyone live near Ottawa, Canada that would want to hook-up ;)
Click to expand...

Hey there, reading what you said, I wish I could be your friend, well, we could be friends through the internet, but I think what you need isn't that. You need real friends, friends you can see, meet up, talk to, and have fun with.

Well, you said its not you to hang out with friends after school? But if you're thinking "I wanna meet some friends" yet you say its not you to hang out after school, isn't that two contradicting statements?? I'd say that if you WANT to meet friends, THAT's you alright... that is what makes you you.

For starters.... actually I'd suggest what you said yourself. Just... try to talk more in school and hang out with friends after school. Are you in a hurry to go home? No? then just stay back or walk home with them, or whatever? Or do they have different chat topics as you do? and find that you don't fit with them?? (Well, I don't know what to do about this, but if it were me, I'd find another gang of friends if they don't really swing the way I do) There HAS to be a certain particular someone you're 'closer' to, whom you'd ask a question when in doubt, whom you'd decide to call in case anything happens. Find that 'someone'.... and get him/her to introduce you to her friends. When she's going somewhere casually or just for fun, try to say smth like "can I come along? My mom's not home yet and I have nth to do" or Whatever..... or you could just skip the cheesy lines and ask if you could come.

Before you realise it, THEY will be the ones asking whether you want to go somewhere with them....


Well, I don't know what else to say, but honestly, school is the EASIEST place to make friends for me. Unless there are certain issues or problems in your school, I think you shouldn't have a problem as long as you give it a try.


"As humans, we can only but try..."
 
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