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I went out on a pretty mediocre-to-bad first date this weekend

shainski

shainski

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That depends...

If you are always looking for that person who meets your top 20 requirements (even though no person on the earth may meet all those criteria) - then you will end up lonely.

If you go out with someone - and you simply don't click on any common topics - and are spending all your time, trying to come up with something to say - then conversation will likely never get better.

I can't answer your question without knowing your history. I do know that if you are certain that you are going on a second date because you couldn't say "no", then you are just putting off the inevitable - not really a favor to him or yourself.
 
I think you need to learn how to not say yes. I recently had a terrible 1st (and only ) date with a guy. He was late, unkempt and changed the plan for the structure of the date...I spent a grueling 3 hours having lunch and looking at the collection at a local museum and all I could think of was how much I was NOT enjoying myself! Being alone looks pretty satisfying sometimes.
 
gingentleman said:
I think you need to learn how to not say yes. I recently had a terrible 1st (and only ) date with a guy. He was late, unkempt and changed the plan for the structure of the date...I spent a grueling 3 hours having lunch and looking at the collection at a local museum and all I could think of was how much I was NOT enjoying myself! Being alone looks pretty satisfying sometimes.
Click to expand...

Boy, that brings back a memory - of a "blind date" i went on once. My neighbors set me up with this "perfect woman" for me. She was attractive enough, i guess - we met for dinner. Something about the way we didn't click was so evident - i'm sure as much to her as to me. She was going on and on about how she picked out the finger nail polish she was wearing. I was thinking about the mound of laundry i had at home - and how i really wished i was at home doing my laundry. And I knew that we were going to go ahead with dinner - when we both would rather not be there at all.

I didn't ask her for a second date - and i am sure she was quite relieved that she didn't have to put me down gracefully - or worse - agree to a second date because neither of us could say no.
 
The same thing happened to me last weekend! I got taken to the Golden Corral and then went to his house to meet his cat and watch the Titanic in his living room with his gay twin brother...oh and the TV was on silent. We got to talking though and had a lot to talk about so it wasn't completely bad. He asked to hang out again and I said yes. My thinking is that we can be friends, I'll just have to let him know a relationship isn't happening.

I say give him another shot, could have just been a bad night for him. You never know...if it doesn't work at least you can say it wasn't for your lack of trying.
 
Bad date, or bad dating material?

An event can be overcome; basic incompatibility can't. It can't hurt to go again.
 
Loki,

I doubt that you have set your standards too high. Since he asked for a second date, I'm thinking you were doing your share during the date and he found you good to be with. Were you doing more than your share? That is, was the date a success from his point-of-view because of your work and you made it easy for him?

Convert the second date into a group date and invite some friends. Help him meet others and maybe you will find someone too. Do not settle for less than you are worth. Hold yourself high, you that you are worth a lot. Someone will make the date-time go quickly and enjoyably. Have faith and keep looking and enjoying and celebrating your life.

Rand
 
Wait...

I must have MISSED something...

What happened to the guy you REALLY LIKED???

I was SUPER EXCITED for you two...

:confused::confused::confused:

In regards to your current problem -- you are a MAN now -- empower yourself... ;)
 
That's too bad about the guy you liked -- and sorry he didn't take the time to let you know about his current BF...

Regarding your CURRENT situation -- I'd just let the guy know that you're NOT INTERESTED in a third date...

I mean, I've been with my partner for OVER a decade and I STILL get the "I can't wait to see him again" feelings -- so that's actually a REALLY IMPORTANT built in indicator, and one you should listen to...

Also, you don't want to be the one LEADING HIM on -- let him know that you're available for friendship, and continue your search for the RIGHT GUY!!!

:):):)
 
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