I'm back its been almost a year but...

[looseliam]

It's up to you to determine if it's O.K. If it's O.K. by you, it O.K. by me!

On a personal note, I would rather my first time to be with someone of note. Not some hire-a-dick.
My first was with a friend I had for years and a crush on for as long. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world

Do you feel you just have to get it over with?

Oh, sorry about the crush. Some people are too into themselves to have room for someone else!

 

[Soilwork]

Why not have your first time be with a guy who thinks youre hot?

Have your first time be with a guy that's into you and not just there because it's his job?

 

[hotatlboi]

dude, you're 19. Find some other young guy who just wants to hookup.

That's what I did and it was way more cool than hiring some pro who's been with god knows how many guys and has who knows how many STDs.

So what if he's hot. There are a lot of other hot 19 year olds out there too. Unless you are butt ugly you shouldn't have to resort to paying for sex imo.

 

[Soilwork]

... and even butt ugly people can get laid with little to no effort so long as they're funny and cool and fun to hang with.

Sex should be fun. I have lots of friends who are escorts and I don't judge them (and most of them are STD free) but I'll be just as honest with them as I am with you... shagging shoudl be fun, not business.

 

[psychobandit]

... and even butt ugly people can get laid with little to no effort so long as they're funny and cool and fun to hang with.

so yer sayin I must not be funny or cool or fun and that's why I'm not getting laid??? (now I'm REALLY bummed)..... (insert sarcasm here)

 

[ronboy]

Listen to the voices of experience (including this VERY experienced voice) .

You can pay some gorgeous, hot escort to strip and have sex with you (regardless of who is topping or bottoming).

But, you can also have someone, who really cares about you, make it a more intimate, and fulfilling emotional experience. It's the difference between "a good fuck" and "making love".

For me, it's all about the romance, the hugging, kissing, imtimacy.....

But whichever way you decide to go, it has to be your choice.....

Godspeed.....

 

[spikebaltar]

Dude, why pay for it??? You are 19! Do you go to school? If so, I guarantee there are other guys you can get laid with no matter what you look like.
There is Outpersonals, gay.com, AdultFriendFinder, Craigslist, etc.etc.etc.
Not to mention here on JUB.
Columbus (Ohio?) is a major enough city you should be able to find someone on here.
Here is an 18 yo guy today from CL. http://columbus.craigslist.org/m4m/280943191.html
Of course, you have to be careful, use common sense, meet in a public place first, never give out your real address until you meet and talk, etc.
At least you wont be paying for it, you will be with someone who wants to do you.

 

[Ohiospeedo]

Oh ok...for a minute there I thought you lived in Columbus, OH which has a very gay community. Why can't you go to Atlanta, or look online to see if there are any guys your age around you?

 

[lovelost]

I fully agree with the guys here. Rather have it mean something other than money and a "fuck".

At the time, I though it was a good thing to do. I didn't wait and, some years later, I still wish I had waited.

 

[looseliam]

I was 24 before I did anything with a guy. Well, aside from the 'experimenting' when younger.

And you know what? It turned out to be just the right time!

As for the holding hands and what not, I don't see how an escort will fill that sort of void.

And now for some questions:

Do you go to school? Are you involved in any clubs? Have you any hobbies?

 

[looseliam]

I'm going to get a bit playful, so don't take me too seriously.

You're in swimming and tennis and you're telling me you can find another gay with whom to get your rocks off??!! =]

Anyhoo, as Soil would suggest, find a gay-friendly group that relates to your strengths and hobbies. I wouldn't necessarily go into it looking for sex, rather do it to make friends. Then see whom you can shag!

 

[3nipples]

This would be Columbus, Ohio?

Tennis: http://www.cmto1.org/CMTO.htm

Volleyball: http://columbusvolleyball.org/ccv/ccv.htm

Swimming: http://www.ohiosplash.org/

 

[MindBlast]

Why pay when you can get it for free?

There will for sure be some guy around your age who wants to hook up.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Dude,

Escort guys are here to stay and you can always use them as some sort of 'the last resource' like in 'if push comes to shove'...(no pun intended...or at least, I think so...)

You feel like getting your rocks off with another dude and you do not feel like going through the usual dating games, dates and candlelight dinners. Cool.

Use the money you have in your little 'entertainment budget', take a road trip and get into the next bigger town for weekend.

Get going to some of the gay bars/clubs and hunt down your man. He'll go with you, if he finds you attractive. Besides, you are learning how to catch your fish and not just eat it. That makes sense, too, doesn't it?

Like I said, escort dudes won't run away. They are here to stay and you can call them anytime. How about exploring a more rewarding avenue beforehand?

SC

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Nervous,

Mate...I understand why the escort thing appeals to you. And I'm far from saying thats its wrong. In fact I think that in some cases there is merit in the idea...and it sounds to me like you know yourself well enough to know why you want to go that way.

The guys here are right...it would be possible to hook up, to find someone to get intimate with.

But I get the feeling that you are at the stage where unless there are definite boundaries you will want more than just a casual encounter. You are wanting to experience a number of things...the actual sexual encounter...but as well you are ready to try your hand at the more intimate relationship style meetings.

The idea of an escort appeals to you because its black and white, there is a beginning and an end. Theres no need to worry about the consequences and the what ifs. Its a transaction and an experience. You get to learn, to experiment, to explore and to let yourself go. But more than that its confidential, its hidden...no matter the outcome its a private encounter that no one else will know about. Its an itch you need to scratch without worrying about whether or not you might want more from him.

And in some ways its a safer more reassuring way to experience than a random hook up at a gay bar. The idea that escorts are unclean or have stds is in reality a bit of an untruth. These guys (the good ones at least) make sure that they are safe...here in OZ they must be regularly checked ...after all its their life they are toying with.

Just dont rush it, dont do it because its easy. If you want more, if you want the relationship ultimately then pursue that. Take your time. You are 20 and I know that it seems you are the oldest virgin on the planet with the least experience...its simply not true. You are just one of the thousands who are waiting for the right guy, the right time, the right place. Dont panic...if you really want more then wait. The right person wont care what your level of experience is...he will want you because of you. Nothing more.

In the meantime though, I get the escort idea...and if its what you want to do, then go for it. Find the one that appeals to you...after all these guys are human...there will be nice ones and arrogant ones much like life. Talk to them, understand what you want from the encounter, ask questions, explain what you want. Its your chance to live a bit of fantasy...you will have control, you will have choice...so plan it and enjoy it.

And once you've scratched that itch Nervous, and you know that you're ok and that you feel better about yourself and more confident and relaxed about things...look for more. Look for the guy that fulfills you and gives you the emotional as well as sexual fulfillment that you need. Hes out there...theres no rush...he may well be around the next corner...life's like that.

Experience all you need with the escort...and then move on. Pursue that whole spectrum of happiness...its ultimately what you want....and deserve.

 

[waynemm]

tallguy, as always, your posts are so well thought-through!!

Nervous, a few months ago I felt like I was kinda in the same position. I'm 26 now (25 then), and haven't had ANY sexual encounters. I haven't even had my first kiss!!

I also started getting nervous about expecting too much from sex, especially the first time. And again Tallguy's posts were informative and helpful!

The escort idea came to mind as well, as I was getting very desperate. And when my (also gay) housemate wanted to get a gay full-monty stripper for his partner's birthday, I was going bonkers with excitement. It didn't happen, and perhaps with good reason.

I decided to look at myself, and do a bit of introspection. I realised that eventhough it might be just another encounter for the escort, it would prolly mean something to me. Coz I've never been the "wham bam thank you mam" typa guy - I love to form connection, "making it work," and putting effort into it. Also, eventhough I'm a very friendly, accomodating type of guy, no-one gets close to me very easily, either emotionally or physically. So, if I had to make use of an escort, I would be violating my own boundries I've set up.

Perhaps it would've been a good thing to lower my boundries for just a while - sometimes you really just have to let go and just say "Fuck it!" But the flipside is also true - I might've resented myself for doing that if the first time didn't live up to my expectations.

Looking back, only a few months later, I'm glad I didn't get the escort / do the stripper. I've taken a journey with myself, sorting out issues, and re-defining my values. I'm still horny as hell, and sometimes really long to have an outlet, but I've realised that I'm not necessarily craving the sex, but rather someone to be with when we're not having sex. I've realised that I'm the intimate typa guy, and for me, sex won't just be the physical deed, but rather, what happens around it.

And I try to find additional outlets for the excess sexual energy, like photography and just sometimes walking around the house naked (when no-one's here!! ) to get comfortable with myself, coz I'm not exactly the hottest thing on the block. And I find that while my cravings are a bit less, the intensity of self-orgams are no less. Less is more!!

Hope this babbling makes sense!!