I'm freaking out...

[Pyramus11]

I'm completely freaking out, about last night. I hadn't had sex in like a month, so I did something I don't normally do, and hooked up with a guy. I'm not even 100 percent positive on what his name was, that's how casual it was... We were getting into it, he was rimming me, then I felt him start fucking me, and didn't see or hear a condom. He had mentioned before that he liked bareback, but I hadn't really said anything about it, because I'd only not used a condom once, with a person I trusted... Anyway, he did it bareback, and he came so quickly, I didn't have time to think about it...

Anyway... Now I'm seriously worried. He said he was clean, but... I'm still freaking out. Everytime I think about it, I want to throw up. I'm definitely getting tested, Friday, when the college's health center has walk-ins. God. I never thought I'd need an STD check... Even thinking about -that- makes me want to throw up. It's probably a blood test, too, and that especially makes me want to throw up... lol... I hiked around the state park near her for like two hours to try to forget about it, but I really couldn't. I got these crazy thoughts like I should go be a monk or a priest. You know? Vow of chastity? Then I remembered gay agnostic-types don't make it throught he seminary very easily.

I feel like my life is fucked. I got so desperate I drove 3 hours for a hook-up, then didn't even make sure he used a condom? I'm a fucking idiot. I just feel terrible... I don't think I should be having sex, until I figure myself out. I get there, do it, and don't get a whole lot of pleasure out of it.

I'm a bottom (I think), and fucking feels okay, now that I've done it a few times, but not like mind-blowing. I guess I just like the pyschological situation, with the dominance thing, but I generally hate fucking (topping)... It's really confusing. Most guys can't even get me to cum, which is annoying for both parties...

I looked up nymphomania (for guys it's satyrsomething), and that sounds kind of like what I get... Always thinking about sex, but when I get it isn't satisfying, and then I also feel terrible about it... Probably because I haven't really ever had a serious relationship...

To sumarize: I'm freaking out, hoping I don't have AIDs, and I'm worried that I'm becoming the whore of babylon, over here. If this is how it as at 18 (almost 19. Yay!), fuck. I'm screwed.

 

[jft245]

No lecture from me, just do the right thing and get tested. Good luck. But remember these feeling the next time you want a hook-up.

 

[3nipples]

It's easy to be perfect in theory, when everything is so black and white... so don't be so hard on yourself for being human... saying "no" to a situation has to be learnt just like everything else.

While it is not impossible for you to have caught HIV from this encounter, the chances are pretty good that you didn't. HIV isn't all that easily transmitted. Other STI's are a different story and you are at risk even with a condom.

In terms of getting tested, next Friday is either too late or too soon, depending on your perspective.

In cases where the risk of probable infection exists, like a health care worker getting jabbed with a dirty needle or a sexual encounter with someone known to be HIV+, there is a PEP treatment that can be administered within I believe 48 hours (but I'm not sure of the timing). It's unlikely that you would qualify for this treatment anf of course, Friday would be too late.

In a normal situation, it takes from 2-6 months for the virus to show up in the kind of test they are likely to give you. Typically they suggest you go in for testing 3 months after the risky encounter.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't visit the clinic on Friday. They can check for other STIs and give you some sound advice on how to play safe.

Put aside any silly ideas about practising abstinence. The sex drive is too strong and you'll just end up desperate and likely to repeat the same mistake again. Your best defense is to be informed about the risks and how to minimize them and to learn how to deal with other guys in a sexual situation.

 

[diunaylomo]

Do you sit on many waters? No?
If you haven't comitted fornication with the kings of the earth, and made the inhabitants of the earth drunk with the wine of your fornication, you have nothing to worry about.

what the heck does this mean?

 

[SilverRRCloud]

What is done, cannot be undone. There is no point in going back there.

Sure, hit the docs ASAP and do everything possible to regain your peace of mind.

Finally, draw some moral out of this story:

You are a sexual being. Just like you need food and water, clothes and basic housing in order to survive, you need sex, too.

Just as you have developed basic strategies to obtain all of the above, you should also have a functioning strategy to get yourself some sexual satisfaction, too.

If you work for your money, so that you can put some food on that kitchen table and pay your rent/mortgage whatever, you also have to work towards having a partner or a bud, who'll help you and himself with your sexual needs.

It is actually quite simple, when you come to think about it.

SC

 

[winterknight]

what the heck does this mean?

It's what the Whore of Babylon did. Or possibly will do.

Revelation 17:1.

 

[Zingerific]

It sounds like you know what you've done and have given serious thought as to how to avoid it in the future.

I know this is easier said than done, but try and come to terms with this. Worrying is one of the most pointless activites people have ever done. It would suck to find out you're okay, then discover you've given yourself an ulcer due to worry. What's done is done, and you can't do anything about it until you get test results. Take care, and let us know what happens.