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I'm into a guy who has a crush on a lesbian

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foolish082

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Long story short - I really like this guy at work (he's straight), but I'm moving away. He secretly likes this girl at work who is bisexual, but is pretty much a lesbian. Which sucks because I'm really into him in more than a sexual way which is not normal for me. lol I'm not really looking for advice. I just wanted to get that off my chest.
 
You have a Boy Crush on him... this is so common even in straight male relationships. It's 'more than sexual' because it's not really sexual, more brotherly love-ish and that's fine, those male/male relationships are just as important as our erotic ones.

If you can just enjoy him w/o expecting too much, you might be happy. You can idealize things, but only in your own journal and heart because that's all it will ever be good for. Deep down you might want him to come out as a gay man that was just confused about it, but this behavior is so off-putting to others simply cause we don't want you to get hurt and have your emotions played with by some straight male predator. It would be great if it happens but why get your hopes up like that? Better to stay cynical and jaded and be pleasantly surprised.

You like him, he's straight? So what? You like men period- orientation shouldn't be a part of that. I am really bonkers about some gay men and some straight men and it has everything to do with similiar values and personality traits and has NOTHING to do with the fact they are gay or straight so being emo about 'actually liking a straight guy' or 'thinking all gay men are too X' is pointless and self-defeating either way.

You can even have a sort of 'love marriage' between the two of you - it was EXTREMELY common in Native American tribes a long time ago. People need to wake up that 'gay' is just a label used by men who felt weak, trying to fake being proud when the whole movement was based on being misunderstood. There's too much shame and self-defeat involved... that I don't see anything positive or worthwhile coming out from this identity. Just a fundie religion of a different stripe.

But it's humanity what are ya gonna do I guess. I just gotta say is I know it makes you feel tortured and different but emotional and intellectual love between two men is more common than cheese crumbs. It might not make you feel any better though, but I'm trying.
 
I didn't read all of that, but thanks for the input. I just wanted to add that yes there definitely is a sexual element to it. It's more than sexual, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to bone him. lol
 
Well, that's a bit complicated isn't it?!

I suggest a threesome. Though I pretty much always suggest a threesome so maybe it's just me. Threesome!
 
I wouldn't mind a threesome. Hell, I have to admit that the girl is hot. She and I used to talk, but it wasn't anything serious. I really think she's sorta into him but just wants to toy with him. It kinda annoys me because I REALLY like him, but he's not into guys. He's cool though. If a threesome was an option we'd be in bed right now! lol
 
lmfao you're not saying something I didn't know and I'm not wasting my time since I'm not pursuing anything. I just wanted to vent. I don't even work with him anymore. lol

Fucker29 said:
If he's into a lesbian, then he's gay.
Click to expand...

I'm assuming you're being sarcastic, because I know many guys who are into lesbian chicks and they aren't gay. That and the fact that she's bisexual so she likes dudes.

There's more to the story, but I wasn't trying to elaborate and make this a long thread. I just wanted to get that off my chest, but I've already whined to my friends about it so I'm pretty much done with it now. lol
 
foolish082 said:
I'm assuming you're being sarcastic, because I know many guys who are into lesbian chicks and they aren't gay. That and the fact that she's bisexual so she likes dudes.
Click to expand...

Yes I was, obviously.
 
foolish082 said:
lmfao you're not saying something I didn't know and I'm not wasting my time since I'm not pursuing anything. I just wanted to vent. I don't even work with him anymore. lol



I'm assuming you're being sarcastic, because I know many guys who are into lesbian chicks and they aren't gay. That and the fact that she's bisexual so she likes dudes.

There's more to the story, but I wasn't trying to elaborate and make this a long thread. I just wanted to get that off my chest, but I've already whined to my friends about it so I'm pretty much done with it now. lol
Click to expand...

If she's bisexual, then she's not a lesbian.
 
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