The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

I'm not in love with him

N

Nice Boy

Porn Star
Joined
Jan 29, 2007
Posts
312
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hi guys.

I need your opinion here:

I have known a guy for about a week and we had sex already. While he is handsome, really nice and really into me and I enjoy sex and I like his personality, I really did not develop romantic feelings much towards him...

What should I do now? Should I wait and see what changes? Or should I tell him this ASAP? I am a bit afraid of the reaction and I feel a bit guilty of not being that able to reciprocate his feelings.
 
Some relationships are just for gratification and sex. Sometimes people aren't compatable you just can't change those feelings overnight, they are what they are. The best thing you can do is be honest that you respect him and enjoy hanging out with him. Let him know that right now you do not feel a romantic connection with him. Connections don't just happen over night. Let him know that you would really like to be friends but before this relationship develops more into something that will hurt you I should let you know we are better off as friends. Feel him out from that point about a potential friends with benifits relationship.DO NOT Let THIS DRAG ON LONGER AND LEAD HIM ON. Right now he won't get hurt that bad but if you let time go on you will hurt him. Be honest that is the best policy. Hope this helps
 
Developing feelings happens over many weeks/months, not a week. Some times even simple infatuation takes longer than a week. I didn't recognized my feelings for the guy I'm still deeply in love with until the end of our second month spending time together. Enjoy feeling good with this one, and don't try to force yourself to feel things, or worry that you don't. It will happen on its own or it won't.
 
Let me add on that you need to tell him in the conversation that you don't have these feelings now but feel as if you could develop these feelings and you want time as a friend or fwb to see if a relationship will work out.
 
I'm 27 and have the feeling I've never been in love.
I also often wonder, what does that mean.
If you have good sex with someone, like hid personality, find him handsome, and really nice...
Is it excluded that the real deeper feelings ('romantic') as you call them will wtill develop?
It's an hounest question. Have you had other partners with whom you had this immediate feeling of being "in love", and how was that different from the feelings you described above?
 
I say enjoy the relationship for what it is right now. As long as you both enjoy each other's company, why overthink it? Maybe you'll develop deeper feelings in time. Maybe you won't. Meanwhile, just have fun and stop worrying so much. :)
 
Well, duh, I wouldn't be in love with you, or him if it's only been a week! :lol:

Sometimes sex can ruin the chance to really develop feelings and emotions for someone if it happens to soon. You'd be surprised how much affection you can build up with a few platonic dates that end with flirtatious opportunities for the future.

Perhaps you also need to give it more time with him. Get to know him more. Find out what he's passionate about and share some common interests together.

He might be thinking you're not relationship material either, but he's enjoying his time and the sex with you. "A week" is too soon to even consider yourself in love with anybody.
 
Excitement and passion are often confused for love in the early stages of getting to know someone. I think what you're admitting to yourself is that a spark is missing. Constant lust would probably kill me. Love sustains my relationship with my husband, allowing for day to day living between periods of passion and excitement, which is always under the surface.

While some of us say things like it was live at first sight, what actually happens is attraction at first sight that grew into love. Because it was a seamless development, it "appears" that it was instant.
 
I just want to point out that people are different. My most recent relationship started as literally a hook up that turned into fuck buddies that turned into a serious committed relationship that has so far been the strongest I've ever had. The one time I tried to take it slow with someone didn't work out for me at all.

I am not saying anyone above me is wrong, just that sex does different things for different people - for some it strengthens, for other it weakens - and you should always be aware where you stand and deal accordingly, rather than stick to some imaginary "rules" of dating like "no sex for the first five dates" or some such.
 
Guys, thanks a lot for the input!

Well, I decided that I would talk about my feelings frankly with this guy and see what happens... The thing that with some people I feel emotions virtually from the start and with some others not... Maybe it just needs time maybe not. I am curious to see what happens next
 
I agree that love doesn't happen over a week. My current partner and I have been together for four months. During the first three months I was a bit meh about the relationship. I enjoyed the sex but that was about it. A couple of times during the first two months I almost told him that, even though I liked him as a person, I didn't see any future in our relationship. However about a month ago we went away for the weekend. That weekend I fell completely in love with him. I came out and told him via e-mail a couple of weeks ago that I was in love with him. He didn't really answer and tell me that he loves me too but he didn't break off the relationship either. So I am a bit in limbo at the moment about his true feelings.
 
thelaw18489 said:
Let me add on that you need to tell him in the conversation that you don't have these feelings now but feel as if you could develop these feelings and you want time as a friend or fwb to see if a relationship will work out.
Click to expand...
After one week of knowing each other, if my date say that to me...I'd dump his sorry ass ASAP. He is not the only ass in town.

It's like saying..."I'm keeping you around for now until I find someone else better. Then I'll dump you."
 
I hope you know that sociopaths are very charming. They could make you fall in love in a minute. But do you want to be in a relationship with a sociopath?
 
The only thing you should feel after a week is some kind of connection. Just relax and enjoy it. Go with the flow. Love at first sight is extremely extremely rare. Some couples build their relationship after years of knowing each other. :) but if you don't feel like you will ever have those kind of feelings with him, tell him and who knows, maybe you can have a friend with benefits ;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top