I'm not out, don't want to come out, but want a relationship

[tobymerwin]

Ok, guys, this is a big step for me. I do not want people to know that I'm bi, but I really want to have some sort of relationship with a guy. I feel so empty and just want a man I can hang out with, talk to, and have fun with. I'm lonely and scared and need to talk about it.

 

[Telstra]

Have you tried adult sauna?
It is discreet and there are many guys you can talk to, and choose the one you want to have fun with.

 

[checkinthingsout]

Where are you? If in a decent sized city, you can definitely find what you are looking for on the internet. I was not out to anyone for a while and I met plenty of people with various situations across the U.S. It is just a bit harder to find a guy right for you.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Ok, guys, this is a big step for me. I do not want people to know that I'm bi, but I really want to have some sort of relationship with a guy. I feel so empty and just want a man I can hang out with, talk to, and have fun with. I'm lonely and scared and need to talk about it.

I think you should take it easy. Consider, however, that many men who are willing to start relationships might not find someone who is closeted a very good match. If I were you, I'd experiment with guys a little more, until you know what you want better and are more aware of what's on offer.

 

[TX-Beau]

You'll find plenty of gay men who'll fuck you, not may who'll date you - think, is it really fair to ask someone else to be your nasty little secret?

Most of us who are out don't want to go back in, for anyone.

 

[Manuel13]

You want to have a relationship where you are ashamed of your boyfriend and hide the fact that you are together from all of your friends and family? Okay...

 

[TK2129]

You want to have a relationship where you are ashamed of your boyfriend and hide the fact that you are together from all of your friends and family? Okay...

How do you know it's not because he knows his family would react negatively? It's not cut and dry. You don't know his life.

 

[JustMe321]

How do you know it's not because he knows his family would react negatively? It's not cut and dry. You don't know his life.

You are right, but that doesnt change what everyone else is saying. If he isnt ready to come out then hes not really ready for a boyfriend either (which sucks, i was in his situation at one point). But most people wont be willing to date someone whos still in the closet.

to the OP, sorry man and best of luck.... my recommendation is to work on yourself before looking for someone else

 

[JustMe321]

Additionally, you dont need a boyfriend to do those things.. there are plenty of gay/bi friends you can meet that can fill that spot for you and help you be more comfortable with yourself

 

[Just_Believe18]

Before you can love another man, you must love yourself first.

There will always be men just wanting your body for sex. If that's what you want to experiment with, it's there. If you want a serious relationship with an actual man you can call a boyfriend, then you need to be accepting of yourself and who you are as a bisexual. Otherwise, it's not fair to him.

 

[tarallucci]

If you don't want anyone to know, prepare to live as a clandestine. However, the hardest part is finding the right person. Try the dating websites but be careful and don't expect too much. Good luck.

 

[Seasoned]

Just be open to changing your mind about being open as time goes by. You've given us a "snapshot" of yourself at this moment. You may find that in time especially if your frustration gets stronger that you'll want to take bolder steps to be fulfilled.

Be gentle with yourself, but be open as well.

You write about a relationship rather than hook ups. There's also the possibility of making friends at an LGBTQ community center or social group if located in your area.

Best wishes and return here often for support.