The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

I'm not sure what I'm about to do

H

hollisterboi07

Joined
Jan 27, 2007
Posts
14
Reaction score
0
Points
0
I'm so sorry about the length of this. I tried to be short but I felt like I had to explain everything. Please read and offer advice if you can.

I might have a "date" Friday. I'm not sure. I would like it to be, but I really don't know. Here's the scenario:

The guy is an acquaintance who I've seen several times but never talked to until we hung out at a party, where we were both pretty drunk. After that, we started talking on myspace and by text and have been doing that for a while.

After a while I suggested we should get together and hang out. He said that sounded cool, but I didn't think anything would come of it. Later, it came up again and we were both legitimately looking to make it happen. We tried to nail down a date but we kept having stuff get in the way. Finally, we landed on Friday. He's driving about an hour to get here (he lives in a different place for summer), then we're going to a movie. When we talked about it, he asked if he could stay the night at my house, presumably because he didn't want to drive home late.

The thing I'm confused about is that I don't know what this is supposed to be. It could be two friends getting together, or it could be two guys who are interested in each other getting together and feeling out the situation. The thing is, I don't know for sure if he's gay. My instincts tell me he is, but it's never been confirmed. His profile says interested in women, but I just feel like he's quietly gay. He's never mentioned an ex girlfriend or boyfriend, and when I asked about past relationships he was very neutral - he never used the words "he" or "she". I haven't mentioned that I'm gay to him, either.

I feel like the signs point to him being interested. Why else would he spend so much time talking to a guy he barely knew at first and then make a long-ish drive to see me, and hang out alone?

Then there's the fact that he asked to stay the night. At first that sounds like he wants something to happen. But he doesn't seem like the type of guy who would be out to try and have sex on our first hangout alone, so I don't think that's what it's about. Maybe he sees this as just two buddies spending time together, and it certainly wouldn't we weird for a friend to crash at my house.

I just don't know. I don't know how to treat this. I know, be myself and see how it goes. I told myself to just wait until Friday and see what happens, then I would know if he was interested in me. But I'm terrible at reading people when it comes to their feelings about me. I don't know what it's like for someone to like me, so I don't know if these signs are real. Plus I have no concrete evidence that he's gay. So what should I do? Should I try to flirt with him? If so, how? How do I know if he's comfortable enough to ask if he's gay? If things go well, should I try to kiss him or something? When the time comes, where should I tell him to sleep?

I'm just so nervous. And I'm so afraid to make the wrong assumption and make everything awkward, especially since he's staying the night, and since we have mutual friends. Anything you guys can offer as help would really be appreciated.
 
Hmmmm. How about just going with the flow and seeing what happens? Don't build any expectations, get to know each other, enjoy each others company- your relationship is still blossoming :)
 
its 2009 dude. people hardly date anymore in general. just do what the straights in our generation do. get drunk together and "whatever happens, happens".

haha, it's pretty simple and horrible advice at the same time but i honestly think it would be the best way of letting go of your inhibitions in a socially-acceptable manner. are you out? if you are you can talk about it and then see how he reacts to it. that'll probably tell you whether he is or not. depending on the answer, you'll know if flirting is needed.

flirting is easy if the other persons clearly into you. practice playing coy, ya know? try being fun, spuky, playful. that kindof stuff. take the thing about your personality that seems to work the best to your advantage and take it up a notch with an actual attempt and effort at being extra charismatic. for example, if you're funny, make lots of jokes, but at the same time make sure you're not being ironic or sarcastic because those are kinds of funny a lot of people either don't like or are offended by.

don't be nervous. be yourself, but yourself on your A game. when the time comes, you'll know exactly where he should sleep. good luck :)
 
I agree, just roll with it. I met a guy on the internet and invited him over and we hang out and he's as straight as an arrow. I finally came out to him and he wanted nothing to do with me sexually, but we are great friends.
 
Well, if he says he's straight, then you should assume that he's telling the truth. Does he know that you're gay/bi? You should tell him during a conversation so that the ball would be in his court. Just enjoy spending the time together as friends and don't read so much into the signs. Even if he does turn out to be gay, its doesn't automatically mean you have to flirt and kiss him. Gays can be just friends too.
 
i think you should start asking him personal things, such as "have you ever had any (serious) relationships", "were your girlfriends cool", "why did you break up", "when did you last have a relationship" etc. when you get to know him better, then ask him if he has ever thought about doing something with a man. but try not to be worried or something! then you should continue asking such things depending on his reactions and there you go! if it's meant to be it's gonna happen!
hope i helped you!
 
1) Yes, be yourself, see what happens.
2) Are you out at all? If you are out to most people, consider including him in that group.
 
1. Relax.

2. Breathe

3. Enjoy.
 
Really- these things have a way of working themselves out.

If the two of you are going to spend an evening together, by the end of the night you should know whether the two of you are gay.

Hint: if he doesn't volunteer the information, ask him. You can be blunt, "So... are you straight, gay, bi....?". Or subtle, "Do you have a girlfriend, boyfriend..?"

And hopefully by the end of the night, you will know whether you want him to sleep in your bed or on the couch/spare bed. Prepare for either option. If you're still not sure by the end of the night, you can ask, "Where do you want to sleep- on the couch or with me?".
 
He is your friend, does it matter rather or not he is gay, str8, or bi. Enjoy his company and see what develops. It seems like a reasonable enough explanation as to why he wants to stay the night at your house.

Relax, take it easy, and breathe just let things take their course.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top