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I'm soooooo lost, what do you think

asian87

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I have no experience nor may I act mentor to you, but I think you have to talk to him.
 
Sounds like you guys are long over due for a serious talk. Tell him what you said in your post. See what he says. There is a possibility that you are reading too much into everything he does. You may be very sensitive due to your unemployment situation and the fact that money is tight. Also, given the situation, is there a chance that you are depressed? The money situation be putting a lot of tension in your relationship. The thing you can do is talk to him.
 
Welcome to JUB! :Wave:

BP's right. It's time for a talk. If you think there's a problem, don't just assume it has to be there. These things can be worked through if both of you want to. So ask him. Tell him you feel you're drifting apart a bit, and are interested in strengthening the relationship again.

...oh, and as a side note. There's plenty of non-hot, non-young guys here on JUB. We just don't post our pictures in that section of the messageboard. :) And even some of the young hot guys are interested in older guys. But that's neither here nor there. Go work on the guy you already got. :)

Lex
 
If you've invested 7+ years in a relationship, then it's worth working to save it. This may mean getting into couples counseling to get the truth out in the open. Or it may mean counseling to work through an amicable end to your relationship.

It begins with a frank talk about what each of you is feeling. It's unfair to try to second-guess what your partner is feeling when you can just ask him. But if you do that, you have to be ready to hear the answer...


...oh, and as a side note. There's plenty of non-hot, non-young guys here on JUB. We just don't post our pictures in that section of the messageboard. :)

Sometimes I think that "Show Yourself" and "Support" are mutually exclusive populations. Maybe because those of us who are older have been seen enough in our lifetimes? :D
 
everyone's advice so far has been great. and, it sounds like ou guys may have some stressors that are not related to your relationship (not directly anyway- mortgage, money, etc.), and it can be easy to confuse being "over" all of that with being "over" the relationship.

it's hard not to worry. try not too until you talk, though...
 
yes i endorse a "talk" but also maybe a talk with a sort of mediator like a counselor, or someone foreign to your whole relationship in case things get out of hand. also a 3rd party would help keep the conversation on topic.

but 7 years is definitely worth saving especially with defacto investments.
 
>>>Maybe because those of us who are older have been seen enough in our lifetimes?

Or because we're wise enough to know we look a hell of a lot better with our clothes on. :)

Lex
 
I don't know what to say really. You guys are having trouble but neither of you wants to end it....

And then you say you feel you'd be rather undesired if you were single.

I know it's not much help, but you're in a bind.
 
I can tell you that the hardest time in my relationship so far was year 7-10, we are 12 now, but OMG, I thought we weren't going to make it so many times. I have heard of the 7 year itch, but I kind of think it's true.

These guys are right that you need to have a talk, but also, you need to double your efforts to be in the relationship. If you are unemployed are you doing things above and beyond with the house and do some personal things for him. When you are the breadwinner, it helps when someone asks if they can help get the drycleaning done, go to the bank, run errands, etc. GIVING is the best way of KEEPING.

Make a special dinner for him and tell him how much you appreciate him. First he won't leave you when your down unless he's a total bastard. Secondly, when you make someone feel special, it helps your relationship along.

As I stated above, if you really think he's interested in getting out, then I would double up your efforts (his will follow - if he cares (I promise)) to be the best parter, since you said he is the guy for you. When was the last time you told him and showed him that he was the bomb?
 
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