I'm the "other man"

[pocono]

I'm an older guy that is so straight acting (whatever exactly that is) that I have been told by many people they would never expect or know that I am gay...well I am. At the same time I have been told I'm good looking. That's not exactly my problem...but may be part of it.

So...I'm in the market for a boy friend and frankly am having a difficult time of finding a guy...any guy. I go to this nice place and end up meeting someone that I can only call the "man of my dreams." We kiss and mess around, but it seems he has already met the man of his dreams and lives with him.

Now I'm feeling a bit dumb. Suggestions.

 

[G-Lexington]

Depends. Are you content with occasional fun on the side, or would you rather go for something bigger than that?

Lex

 

[pocono]

Depends. Are you content with occasional fun on the side, or would you rather go for something bigger than that?

Lex

That's a great question. He is a cool guy so a "friends with benefits" arrangement is fine...but I would love for someone to sweep me off my feet.

Maybe its the holidays or midlife crisis...but I really would love to have a guy to love and hold and kind of the whole dream. This guy is ideal...except for one teeny problem! Shit!

 

[slnattak]

That's a very bad idea unless the person is aware of the situation. I don't think you can really hide something like that. I'm quite intuitive, I'd probably know something was up.

 

[1091MAC]

If the other guy knows about you or his boyfriend's behavior, then I say it's ok. But if the boyfriend is unaware of the extracurricular activities, then I guess you are the one who will have to decide if you can be content knowing that you are "the other man."

If you are looking for a boyfriend, would you want to be with someone who you know cannot remain faithful? My hunch is that if this guy is so great that he is the man of your dreams, then he must be desireable to many other guys as well. Maybe the temptation for him will always be there and one that he can not turn down.

Good luck!

 

[Homoerectus]

Hooray for 1091MAC's answer. If you date a cheater, expect the same to happen to you. As Earl would say, "It's Karma."

 

[KaraBulut]

Being "plan B" or the "guy on the side" is not going to do anything to help you get what you say that you want- the "man of my dreams".

This guy isn't the man of your dreams- he's the man of someone else's dreams.

Stop wasting time with him and go find what you are looking for.

 

[pocono]

Go back to the same place you met this guy, and look for another. From the sound of it, you would enjoy a guy on the side, but deep down, you want someone to call your own. So go out and find him!

That is excellent advice.

I'm gonna give it a go again tonight!

Wish me luck!

 

[damir1989]

i hope you had luck finding "the guy" tonight!

let me tell you something you have been told before, dating a guy with a past of cheating is probably a really bad idea, because if they cheat once, they are bound to cheat again!

i had a boyfriend and i thaught he was perfect, that is untill i found out he was cheating on me i told the other guy and he was mad at first, but he told me to stay away from his man! i was really pissed but i let it go and told that guy that hes bound to get cheated on aswell and that karma is a bitch! and turns out not even a month late hes messaging me telling me i was rite and that my ex cheated on him too!! lol so i would just say stick to that plan of going out and finding the one!! good luck hunting buddy!!

 

[pocono]

i hope you had luck finding "the guy" tonight!

let me tell you something you have been told before, dating a guy with a past of cheating is probably a really bad idea, because if they cheat once, they are bound to cheat again!

Had fun last night and I'm still looking around. But the guy I really like, the guy with a partner, was there too and he is just so cute and so nice....

But...I did have some "fun!" In fact it seemed to be my night at the bar!

I'm just confused!