- Joined
- Jan 15, 2006
- Posts
- 15,330
- Reaction score
- 2
- Points
- 38
- Location
- Sofia, Bulgaria
- Website
- www.instagram.com
Hmm, I don't really know how to start this...
Some of you already know, some don't... I'm sort of messing around with this dude I first got to know a few months ago.
We hadn't done anything until recently.
He's sort of cute. Although he isn't exactly what I'd call my type, there are many things I like about him. He's handsome, an ex-pro basketball player, tall, huge legs
Size 45 European hehe.
He's a great kisser (that is probably the thing I like the most about him, he kisses gently and doesn't force his tongue in my mouth )
LOL.
So, I do like him, I can even talk stuff with him, he doesn't have the dumb bitch syndrome unlike some guys I met in the past.
Anywho, what bugs me is that he's apparently bisexual and has a girlfriend. They have been together for 3 years now. That is quite a lot.
Now, I do not feel guilty or anything (or maybe I do if I'm writing this), I do not know the girl and even if I did his bisexuality is their problem, not mine. I know it may sound bad if I say I do not care about his gal and that she is in the dark.
But also I think of it this way: she is always gonna be in the dark, it can be me he's seeing, it can be someone else, he ain't gonna stay committed to her. So why should I just cut him loose for he's gonna find another fuck buddy anyway. She's not getting the commitment even if I trash him.
Mind you, I have thought about it and I came to the conclusion that I do not have to feel guilty for his attraction towards men. That is his responsibility and he says he'd never tell her.
What worries me is that I already know how this will end. And in never ends well. For me it hasn't. Not one time.
I have dealt with bisexuals in the past. Now bi guys here, if anyone bothers to read really, that is solely personal experience and I am not generalizing.
Truth is, each time I wanted something more I got the door shut at me. Bi guys I have been with always were too damn scared of being outed, and although generally the guys I've been with have admitted to me to prefer the sexual experience with a male rather than a female, somehow the female always wins and it's the highway for me. I do not know why they always seem scared of a relationship with a guy but open to sex with one. That sorta creeps me really.
And of course, this time, even though I was seeing the same signs from the start I thought that maybe, just maybe this time around things will be different, that maybe for whatever reason he will look at me and see something more than just a dirty little secret.
Well, needless to say I was wrong.
Basically I already am the big loser in the whole thing, and I always get in it to win it, this one I can't win, I lost it before it had a chance to start.
To me it is just turning into this weird pattern, I am probably not gonna see him again and this time it's gonna be me that will shut the door.
I haven't really decided yet but as easy as I'm with falling in love this will probably be the best thing for me to do.
I cannot just have sex with him and not feel anything.
I know he's the perfect fuck buddy but I'm just not looking for that. Never have.
He does seem quite interested in me and all but I can see that everything that connects us currently and that will connect us in future is lust and his fear of being outed.
I'm just not ready for that. Yet.
Guess I still have some hope left I will meet the right one eventually.
Some of you already know, some don't... I'm sort of messing around with this dude I first got to know a few months ago.
We hadn't done anything until recently.
He's sort of cute. Although he isn't exactly what I'd call my type, there are many things I like about him. He's handsome, an ex-pro basketball player, tall, huge legs
Size 45 European hehe.He's a great kisser (that is probably the thing I like the most about him, he kisses gently and doesn't force his tongue in my mouth )
LOL.
So, I do like him, I can even talk stuff with him, he doesn't have the dumb bitch syndrome unlike some guys I met in the past.
Anywho, what bugs me is that he's apparently bisexual and has a girlfriend. They have been together for 3 years now. That is quite a lot.
Now, I do not feel guilty or anything (or maybe I do if I'm writing this), I do not know the girl and even if I did his bisexuality is their problem, not mine. I know it may sound bad if I say I do not care about his gal and that she is in the dark.
But also I think of it this way: she is always gonna be in the dark, it can be me he's seeing, it can be someone else, he ain't gonna stay committed to her. So why should I just cut him loose for he's gonna find another fuck buddy anyway. She's not getting the commitment even if I trash him.
Mind you, I have thought about it and I came to the conclusion that I do not have to feel guilty for his attraction towards men. That is his responsibility and he says he'd never tell her.
What worries me is that I already know how this will end. And in never ends well. For me it hasn't. Not one time.
I have dealt with bisexuals in the past. Now bi guys here, if anyone bothers to read really, that is solely personal experience and I am not generalizing.
Truth is, each time I wanted something more I got the door shut at me. Bi guys I have been with always were too damn scared of being outed, and although generally the guys I've been with have admitted to me to prefer the sexual experience with a male rather than a female, somehow the female always wins and it's the highway for me. I do not know why they always seem scared of a relationship with a guy but open to sex with one. That sorta creeps me really.
And of course, this time, even though I was seeing the same signs from the start I thought that maybe, just maybe this time around things will be different, that maybe for whatever reason he will look at me and see something more than just a dirty little secret.
Well, needless to say I was wrong.
Basically I already am the big loser in the whole thing, and I always get in it to win it, this one I can't win, I lost it before it had a chance to start.
To me it is just turning into this weird pattern, I am probably not gonna see him again and this time it's gonna be me that will shut the door.
I haven't really decided yet but as easy as I'm with falling in love this will probably be the best thing for me to do.
I cannot just have sex with him and not feel anything.
I know he's the perfect fuck buddy but I'm just not looking for that. Never have.
He does seem quite interested in me and all but I can see that everything that connects us currently and that will connect us in future is lust and his fear of being outed.
I'm just not ready for that. Yet.
Guess I still have some hope left I will meet the right one eventually.