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in love with a straight friend...?

KevDe87

KevDe87

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or at least I think i am. a little background:

i've been friends with him for 8 years. we met over a mutual interest and bonded over a lot of shared passions & interests. he's straight but was curious about gay stuff. we'd cuddle a lot & were make out buddies for a good while. we did some other stuff too but it never went past bj's. Then a few years back he moved away & we were still close but didn't see each other as much as before and we still don't sadly. I see him, maybe 5 times a year. but we text & skype and talk a ton so it's not like anything has really changed on that front.

he's engaged now and when I found out it really KILLED me. i never thought of him that way before romantically but I have been recently. I'm not sure if it's just me missing him or if it's more. i'm gonna be seeing him again in january and I'm a bit nervous. i don't really even know why..because it's never been weird before, but I don't want to say or do something stupid and mess our friendship up.

wow, this just sounds like late night ramblings! haha I'll sleep on it and maybe post some more background in the AM. am I just overthinking things like I think that i am? :confused:
 
I read somewhere that if a guy performs oral sex or anal sex on a more or less consistent/regular basis beyond age 20, then his chances of being gay is much higher.
 
I think you have some rather wishful thoughts regarding your friend :) Altho he may have some bi interest in other guys he seems to be acting completely straight and has now found the love of his life. Time for you to move on and just regard him as an 'old' friend. Just a chance he might still want to play with another 'old' friend but dont bet on it.
 
As difficult as it may be, it's past the time to move on in terms of romantic feelings. It's time to make yourself available to guys who can reciprocate.
 
It's not difficult to understand when the love for a friend crosses the line into romantic love. You know each other well and have shared many things, including physical and sexual intimacy. Sex, no matter how simple it might seem to be, often increases the feeling you have for the partner. Since you have known him for so long and have a real friendship, I see no problem in being honest with him about how you feel.
However, the sex play between you needs to stop now that he is engaged. It will dishonor his relationship with his gf and only makes matters more difficult for you. It really doesn't matter if he is not straight, he has chosen another life. You should choose someone else who is able to return your feelings now, too.

Keep us informed.
 
You must move on. For him the experimenting you both enjoyed in the past was just that. Maintain your friendship with him if you can think of him in non-sexual terms. Find single gay friends and stop obsessing about the engaged man you cannot have.
 
Are you closeted? Lusting after "straights" [closeted bis too] will only lead to disappointment and this is something most gays will learn by the time they finish high school. Go out and meet some gay guys and date them.
 
thanks for the responses guys. maxpowr9 nope not closeted. lol and i've dated plenty
 
Be friends with him and never turn your back on him, Just leave the sex part out and let your friendship take a new path, Good friends are hard to find and close friends even harder. Rememebr all the good no sexual times you had together and let a new friendship grow. DO NOT lose a friend over this. Thats my 2 cents worth :gogirl:
 
Hey KevDe,

I know where your coming from, i've had enough crushes on friends mostly straight and all uninterested. For me I don't trust easily and it takes a long time for me to get to know someone, so I just end up falling for someone i'm close to and it sounds the same for you with your friend. Its all very comfortable as you know each other and it's also confusing for you because he has been making out and even been sexual with you. In my experience, once the friendship line has been crossed a lot of the time the friendship is doomed. Also when I guy moves on they don't tend to keep in contact. But your friendship has survived both challenges and this just shows the strength of your friendship. I'd say you need to get your mind off this situation for now and hopefully find a man to meet your needs which will help you deal with the crush on your friend.
 
It's always difficult when friends move on, get married and start families. It's even more difficult when it's someone that you had a past with.

But he's moved on and the sexual part of your friendship is in the past, so it's time that you moved on, too.
 
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