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In love with someone who's already taken...

954dude

954dude

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Whenever I'm in a situation like this, I accept the truth and make myself active and productive in something I love to do. That way I'm keeping myself busy and able to put my feelings/frustrations into something healthy.

For me that's writing, filming, dancing, exercising, and martial arts.
 
People break up and get back together all the time.

You don't want to be the "other guy". You don't want to be the "rebound guy".

It's probably better to stay clear of the situation until it's finally over and he's a free man- both sexually and emotionally. That might take a while.
 
No matter what advice you get, remember you are the one closest to the situation to know what's best. Relationships are complex and no one besides the couple themselves know what is really going on. A true expression of your feelings may be passed along to his partner, which would lead to constant tension. You might begin a talk with him the way you began this post: "When I met you it took me a while to really get to know you. Had I seen the person that I now know today, I would have pursued a romantic relationship."
 
I don't think it's fair to him to introduce your feelings and open that door while he's in a relationship with someone else.

If it was me, and one of my friends told me they would have dated me if I wasn't attached, I wouldn't appreciate it. It'd make me wonder what he was expecting me to say, or do. What do you do with something like that.

Whatever is going on in his relationship isn't your business. It isn't constructive to insert yourself into that situation. If he wants to cheat, trust me you don't want to be the guy he cheats with, that will come back to haunt you even if your thing with him survived the carnage of his breakup, something that's by no means certain.
 
Feel free to call him out on it, and make your feelings known. I think you can do this via a "playfully joking" sort of way. If you feel he's hitting on you, pretend to be flattered/offended, and say "Hey, you know my rule - no messing around with guys already in a relationship." Laugh it off, and change the subject. This'll make it clear that you consider him off-limits so long as he's got this guy in his life. Or, if you'd rather not wait that long, again, jokingly, say "Well, we'd have to make sure (boyfriend) doesn't find out you and I are getting it on."

Lex
 
^ Follow the Kara and Lex advice.
 
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