Internet Relationships and Age Differences

[Kadratis]

Heh, I decided to post here since I'm not exactly sure where to turn about this stuff. Well that and I haven't posted in like ages. Here goes...

I've been talking to a guy for about a month now on MySpace. Yeah, typical, huh? Anyway, it all started off when I was trying to make a page that my friends wouldn't find that said I was gay. Eventually, he found my page and we just started talking. Nothing serious, just some casual conversation over MySpace. He wanted to talk on the phone, but being as shy as I am, I resisted. He brushed it off lightly and a talking became pretty sparse (probably because I had come out and my friends started to walk into my comments) for awhile up until a couple days ago. He came onto AIM for the first time in a couple weeks and we started talking again. Eventually, he gave me his cell number again and asked me to call him.

Naturally, it took me awhile to work up the nerves, but I did. We've had some really memorable discussions and he said he would like to meet sometime. I mean, over the month we've become good friends and now I feel like we're something more. I told him I loved him last night and he took it really well. I mean, this is my first relationship with a guy and I haven't even met him. But we've got everything in common (I mean EVERYTHING!) and nobody's ever made me feel so good about myself my whole life. He told me last night he wanted to meet up sometime so I proposed this upcoming Saturday. When I told him I've been having problems at home, he's even suggested me moving in with him next year if we totally hit it on when we meet. This is something I'd die to do, considering my parents and the house I live in make my life miserable. When you see the brass ring, you just wanna grab it, right?

But there lies a problem. He's 28 and I'm 19. Age is just a number to me, but I'm worried it may stir up some problems. I mean, it doesn't bother either of us, but I'm just a worrywart. Someone help me... please?

I can only hope this post made some kind of sense!

 

[G-Lexington]

The thing I'm worried about isn't your age difference - the difference isn't all that drastic, and I think it's handleable. My issue is the fact that "talking became kinda sparse" until a couple of days ago...and now you're "totally" hoping to move in with him. Sounds like your emotions are on a major rollercoaster right now, and this isn't a great time to make major decisions.

Slow down, man.

Lex

 

[Kadratis]

Yeah, I understand what you mean. I mean, I have a long time to make a final decision on that kind of thing. I guess just being stuck in this house with my folks has just really made me restless.

 

[Smitho]

Slow down, seriously, you can not be in love with someone you have only chatted to on the internet. Really, I do not believe you can be in love, desparation to move out of your folks house maybe, or to be seen?, but seriuosly, you are heading for a fall if you don't slow down.

I don't think the age differnence is to much of a problem, providing he is telling the truth, I have met several guys who were a bit economical on that front, when chatting and in meeting turned out years older, but go along the tried route, meet in public, go on a date etc, meet again, and get to know each other and your habits and THEN asses weather you love the guy or not. In a couple of months, not chatting on msn.

Take care and take it a bit slower.

 

[SantaCBear]

You are heading for a heartbreak. That aint all bad for we all have to go through a few.

Just be prepared. Sorry to have to tell you this...

 

[dadbear69]

Hate to say the same thing everyone else has, but....
If you can slow down if it is really love slowing down will not hurt. If real love it will get better with time if Lust/wanting to move out/first time the feeling will cool off after a while.

Like SantaCBear says you may be heading for a heatbreak, if so don't worry most of us all have been there.

The age difference no big deal. My semi-serious friend is 23 I am 55.

Remember if he makes you smile, laugh and happy that is what counts.

 

[provenlogic]

Err, yea i'm gonna chime in with the "forget about the age thing, it doesn't matter so much as the you really need to slow down a bit" crowd.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

No one knows, what's ahead of you really.

I tend to always have a positive outlook and frankly, this has always worked for me.

It still does, because I also tend to be on a very prudent and safe side. There is nothing wrong with the age difference and there is absolutely nothing wrong with 'falling for a dude on the net'. We have all done that.

You even do not have to slow down anything. You only have to take it very seriously and you want to spend lots of time with this dude b4 you make any decision of the 'move-in with him' calibre.

Make sure, you do not exchange one living hell for another.

And while you are at it, how about developing your own, fully independent plan to move out on your own and bunk in with other dudes in a shared flat for a while?

If all is good and you really keep clicking together over a long time, you can pack up and let him carry you over the threshold at any time...

SC

 

[bluedragon4]

18 and 19 have to be the hardest ages ever! I'm glad those days are long gone!

 

[Shepherd 2]

In fact at a young age even 27 - 19 can be a considerable age difference, especially being in the control of someone who is independent and older. Are you in fact so ready to move in because things are so miserable at home?

Give this very careful and honest thought before you do something rash and get in way over your head. Ere on the side of caution.
Shep+

 

[gameboy 11]

I'm not gonna lie, that is almost a decade apart! But if you seriously like this guy, that shouldn't really stop you. Go with the flow for a while, and if you can't handle the pressure, then get out. There will probably be more in the future.

However, it doesn't sound like this is something you should pass up. I'd personally run with it!

 

[Kadratis]

Thanks for your advice, everyone. When I talk to him tonight, I'm going to tell him what I think. Developing my own plan to move out sounds like an excellent idea, so I'll start from there. Thanks again.