Is He Or Isnt He

[kalkorrigan99]

Well I Have Been Crushin on This Guy For Two Years Now. Lets Call Him Carl. Never Tried To Move On Him. He Claims To Be Straight and Is Quite A Few Years Younger Than I Am.
So I Was Getting Past My Feelings For Him Until This Past January When I Was at a Party and Met This Guy, Lets Call Him Derek. He Was a Friend of a Friend. So We Began Talking, Discussing Mutual Friends and Carls Name Came Up. We talked A Little Bit About Him and Out of Nowhere He Tells Me He Gave Carl Head at a Party just a Few Months Before This. So It Goes Without Saying It Kinda Shocked Me Despite Friends And Even Family of His Telling Me They Think He Is Gay or at Least Bi.
A Few Weeks Go Buy and i Am Trying To Figure Out How To Bring This Up To Him. So One Night My Nephew, Let Call Him John, and I Are Hanging Out With Him. So John Comes Right Out And Asks Him. He Looked Kinda Stunned and avoided the Subject only Saying He Didnt Know The Kid But His Name Sounded familiar. We Pressed Him On it and He Said He Gets To Much Pussy To Go To a Guy. A Weak Denial In My Opinion Hell I Expected Him to Freak and Wanna Kill The Guy But No.
A Few Weeks Later We Are Hanging Out Again. Talking And Stuff When He Says To Me Fuck You. I Of Course Respond Fuck You Too. He Says Back You Probably Would You Sick Fuck. Then He Turns To John and Flat Out Asks Him If I Want To Fuck Him. I Was Shocked My Brain Wanted To Say Yes I Do But My Mouth Would Not Let Me. John Just Laughed.
Time Passes Spring Then Summer. He Asks Me If I Was A Butch Or A Bitch. He Compliments Me On My hair. Nothing Major. The Last Week John and I Run Into Him. We Are Walking and John Finds A Five Dollar Bill On The Ground. They Argue As To Whose It Is When Carl Pulls Out His Waist Band To Show Were The Money Was And There It Was A Full View Of His Junk. He Did It Again A Just A minute Later. Now I Dont Know If He Forgot He Had On No Underwear or Didnt Realize I Was Standing Right Next To Him But I Got A Full Show.
So What Do You THink IS He Sending Me Signals That He Might Be Interested or IS It All Just Wishful Thinking On My Part?

 

[kalkorrigan99]

Sorry bout that it was my first time posting a thread. well he is 20 i am 38. yes i am out and he knows i am gay. as for asking him out i am afraid he will reject me.

 

[Horschallen]

Sorry but your odd capitalization makes your post damn hard to read.

I agree that your post is difficult to read with repeated capitalization.

 

[kalkorrigan99]

again sorry that the post is hard to read i will do better next time

 

[G-Lexington]

His signals are, in my humble opinion, on the weak side. Nothing really screams "gay". That doesn't mean he isn't, of course - it just means it doesn't seem like he is. My opinion would be to assume he isn't. I mean, you've already asked, and he said no. And my theory is - if a guy says he's straight. It either means he IS straight, or that he's so far in the closet he doesn't want to come out to you. And in either case, it's best if you don't push the issue. If he is gay, he knows you are, and he can come talk to you about it when he's ready.

Lex

 

[texan_slant]

He sounds more interested in your nephew, actually. Nothing he's done indicates that he is into you - esp if he knows that you are gay.

 

[kalkorrigan99]

i was keeping my distance making sure i didnt send any signals to him and was actually getting past him until i met derek and after he told me his story that gave me tons of hope that maybe something could between us

 

[TX-Beau]

i was keeping my distance making sure i didnt send any signals to him and was actually getting past him until i met derek and after he told me his story that gave me tons of hope that maybe something could between us

Yeah, but he told you he’s straight. Even if he does turn out to be gay, that’s no guarantee he’s interested in you.

Straight until proven otherwise. He says he’s not, what can you do? If you push until you force a reaction, things will go south, one way or another.

You’re playing the hyper-analyze game here, usually a huge indicator that the guy isn’t interested, or isn’t gay.

You can’t hope someone into wanting you. Even if you did manage to get your mouth on his cock that wouldn’t mean he wanted to date you. You were better off leaving this be, and looking elsewhere.

Personally, I’ve never really understood the running after straight and conflicted guys. I don’t like drama, and I don’t like angst. I’ve found that I’m much much happier chasing guys who want to be caught.

If I start to find myself in that situation, I distance myself from it - like you were doing in the first place. I’d go back to that strategy and find a gay Twinkie who wants you to chase him.

 

[spencer]

sounds like a comfortable straight guy to me.

you need to have conversations with him without john there to turn it into lockerroom talk. of couse he's not going to be very forthcoming in a group situation, espeically since john just blurts it out.

You need to have one of those discreet conversations where he feels comfortable to admit stuff.

As for craziness with seeing his junk, you need to meet your reaction with his actions. You should have said something like, hey, nice junk buddy, you should show it more often and joked or something.

Where is all your 38 year old wisdom?

 

[3nipples]

I'm a bit surprised that you're worrying about this, given that you're out and 38. Surely you can do better than to pine over a 20 year old that you're not even sure is gay but you're letting him yank your chain and afraid he might reject you. He's probably laughing at you. Move on is my advice.

 

[kalkorrigan99]

i dont think he is laughing at me he is has been nothing but nice to me since i met him. anyway i have only been out for a few years now and only had one relationship which was just physical so this is the first time i have had these feelings toward someone

 

[3nipples]

I must have misread you then, I'm sorry. In this case, you should consider being open with him about your feelings and see where it takes you.

As a separate issue, if you don't have any gay friends more or less your own age, you should make an attempt to meet some. If you live in a major centre there is bound to be some kind of gay social activity you can become involved in, such as a gay sports club.

 

[kalkorrigan99]

i live in a small little town in pennsylvania and there is not much of a gay scene

 

[Lube]

Well, then every gay (or potentially gay) guy is precious!

Go out for coffee or lunch or a movie with him. As a friend. See if something develops.

He is young and may just want sex, not a relationship. So don't get too attached too quickly. I see heartache coming.

But don't just wonder about it. Do something.

 

[3nipples]

What does small mean to you in terms of population? Where I live it normally would mean around 1000 people, whereas big town means 100000.

Most gay venues start because someone goes to the effort of starting one; perhaps you could too? Just an idea.

 

[kalkorrigan99]

small town is about the same for me maybe even less. as for asking him to hang lube i have thought about it many times but being a naturally shy person it is tough. plus i have a buisness relationship with his mother so i gotta be careful