Ever since I've been back on the dating scene, I've remembered how much of it is confusing mindgames and I'm already sick of it. The situation I'm in now is kind of similar to the last one, but not *as* sketchy.
Basically, I met this guy at a club last week through a mutual friend. I walked him back to his bus stop at 3:30 in the morning and he asks for my phone number. We talked on facebook chat when we got home too. He's really nice, gorgeous, I have a crush on him. The next night we made plans to go out to another party together. I went over to his apartment, we had a few beers, then went to the party. It was fun. I noticed that he wouldn't dance very close and thought maybe he's just looking for friends. He told me he has to be drunk to do that kind of stuff (dance sexy, make out, etc.) and that, in general, he likes to know a guy a bit before getting with him.
So on the walk home, I ask him if that means he'd like to go on an actual date sometime, and he said sure. Then when we both got back to our own apartments, he messages me on fb chat again, eventually asking me if I'm a top or a bottom, and I told him I'm versatile and he said so is he... so I don't know why he asked me that if he's not interested...
Then, I didn't hear anything from him for a few days... so on wednesday I called him to ask him on a date. We made decent small talk and he said "maybe" for sunday. So I said okay, I'll call you sunday. Then, last night, I wrote him on fb chat to ask if he was going out. He said "i don't know" to which I replied "well okay then." But then, he asked me if I was, so I told him I was, and then he started texting me saying I could come to his apartment to leave with him if I want, and before you know it we're meeting each other in front of the club, waiting for his friend to arrive who was getting us in for free. I ask him how he feels about sunday and he said it can't work because he has to study, but that we could do it later.
As soon as his friend shows up we go inside and the rest of the night felt like a mess. I feel so played. I felt excluded from the conversation, and once he even walked away (following his friend) without even motioning for me to come with him. Then I saw him inside and I said, "look, do you want to hang out with me tonight, or what? I don't want to feel like I'm following you around. You walked away without saying anything..." to which he was just like "No it's fine, of course, come with us," so I did... then later on we were outside again, talking, and I was wondering who this friend of his was, because they were clearly very affectionate with each other... so I asked him if it was an ex. This frustrated him and he said "You're boring" because he said every time he says he knows someone, I ask him how... and I was just like, "how does that make me boring? I don't know anything about you, or your history, so I'm trying to understand what role these people play in your life. I'm just curious about you. How can you call me boring when you hardly know anything about me? Do you even know what I major in?" and he doesn't because he never asked. All he had to say was "that's what it's like when you just meet someone."
Then, later on in the night, a group of us were dancing together and he was dancing REALLY sexy with his 'friend' and then walked off to another part of the dance floor with a guy I know. Outside, we exchanged a few sentences, and then he said goodnight - no hug goodbye, nothing.
I don't know what happened or what his deal is. Maybe I came off a little too eager? Maybe he's just looking for friends? But then why was he so flirtatious before and asking me what position I like? I know we've only known each other for a week, but when I like someone, I'm pretty open about it - I'll ask him on a date, kiss at a party, whatever... maybe he's just much slower than me... I've already decided that I'm just not going to text him or write him at all anymore. He knows I like him so he can decide what to do with it. Any ideas?
Basically, I met this guy at a club last week through a mutual friend. I walked him back to his bus stop at 3:30 in the morning and he asks for my phone number. We talked on facebook chat when we got home too. He's really nice, gorgeous, I have a crush on him. The next night we made plans to go out to another party together. I went over to his apartment, we had a few beers, then went to the party. It was fun. I noticed that he wouldn't dance very close and thought maybe he's just looking for friends. He told me he has to be drunk to do that kind of stuff (dance sexy, make out, etc.) and that, in general, he likes to know a guy a bit before getting with him.
So on the walk home, I ask him if that means he'd like to go on an actual date sometime, and he said sure. Then when we both got back to our own apartments, he messages me on fb chat again, eventually asking me if I'm a top or a bottom, and I told him I'm versatile and he said so is he... so I don't know why he asked me that if he's not interested...
Then, I didn't hear anything from him for a few days... so on wednesday I called him to ask him on a date. We made decent small talk and he said "maybe" for sunday. So I said okay, I'll call you sunday. Then, last night, I wrote him on fb chat to ask if he was going out. He said "i don't know" to which I replied "well okay then." But then, he asked me if I was, so I told him I was, and then he started texting me saying I could come to his apartment to leave with him if I want, and before you know it we're meeting each other in front of the club, waiting for his friend to arrive who was getting us in for free. I ask him how he feels about sunday and he said it can't work because he has to study, but that we could do it later.
As soon as his friend shows up we go inside and the rest of the night felt like a mess. I feel so played. I felt excluded from the conversation, and once he even walked away (following his friend) without even motioning for me to come with him. Then I saw him inside and I said, "look, do you want to hang out with me tonight, or what? I don't want to feel like I'm following you around. You walked away without saying anything..." to which he was just like "No it's fine, of course, come with us," so I did... then later on we were outside again, talking, and I was wondering who this friend of his was, because they were clearly very affectionate with each other... so I asked him if it was an ex. This frustrated him and he said "You're boring" because he said every time he says he knows someone, I ask him how... and I was just like, "how does that make me boring? I don't know anything about you, or your history, so I'm trying to understand what role these people play in your life. I'm just curious about you. How can you call me boring when you hardly know anything about me? Do you even know what I major in?" and he doesn't because he never asked. All he had to say was "that's what it's like when you just meet someone."
Then, later on in the night, a group of us were dancing together and he was dancing REALLY sexy with his 'friend' and then walked off to another part of the dance floor with a guy I know. Outside, we exchanged a few sentences, and then he said goodnight - no hug goodbye, nothing.
I don't know what happened or what his deal is. Maybe I came off a little too eager? Maybe he's just looking for friends? But then why was he so flirtatious before and asking me what position I like? I know we've only known each other for a week, but when I like someone, I'm pretty open about it - I'll ask him on a date, kiss at a party, whatever... maybe he's just much slower than me... I've already decided that I'm just not going to text him or write him at all anymore. He knows I like him so he can decide what to do with it. Any ideas?
](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
. Anyways, I wonder what it is about being on the lookout that makes it so difficult to actually get something going - perhaps it's having expectations set unrealistically high for people one has just met.