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Is He Really Straight??!!

J

jusnycboi

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Ok, hey guys. I met this guy about 4 months ago and we instantly hit it off. We talk CONSTANTLY thru text every single day. We've really gotten to know each other very well. He's apparently straight and talks about hooking up with girls, but whats strange is our convos are really borderline flirtatious and sometimes just plain flirtatious. About 2 weeks ago he finally asked if I was gay, and I said yes. He said that was absolutely ok and he didnt care one bit about it. So we continued talking like usual. All of a sudden one day while we were talking he out of the blue he tells me that he's horny. I was kinda shocked and I said I was too. We talked about it for a little while and he told me I should jack off since I was horny. I was kinda shocked.

That leads me to my question. Do you guys think straight guys would tell a gay guy he's horny and suggest the guy jack off? It seems a little suspect to me. He's one of those guys that makes jokes and cracks about himself being gay or liking guys. But then he'll start telling me about girls he's hooked up with. What u guys think?? I dont think he's ever been with a guy...maybe he's curious, idk. But I do think our interactions are a little strange. What should I do?
 
jusnycboi said:
That leads me to my question. Do you guys think straight guys would tell a gay guy he's horny and suggest the guy jack off? It seems a little suspect to me. He's one of those guys that makes jokes and cracks about himself being gay or liking guys. But then he'll start telling me about girls he's hooked up with. What u guys think?? I dont think he's ever been with a guy...maybe he's curious, idk. But I do think our interactions are a little strange. What should I do?
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Guys who are comfortable with each other talk about sex, about being horny, about wanting to fuck and about jacking off. It's just normal guy banter.

Here's the deal: if someone tells you that they are straight, you should think of them as straight.

You'll save yourself a lot of trouble by accepting your friends as they are.
 
Agreed, that's good advice. Resist the temptation and just enjoy friendship with someone who is cool like that.
 
I agree with the two above. I often wonder why do those "straight" men even bother flirting when they do not plan on having any sex or anything done.
 
I have a very similar story.. I had met the fiance of a female co-worker & we all had become a group of friends. after a couple months I had told them I was gay, but they figured it out by then on their own.
One night, i had texted him cuz i was at a local pub & asked if he could join for me for a beer.
What he texted back was exactly this, "Don't think that I'm a perv but I am horny"
Now, why would he text me this?? So, I text back, "what do you plan to do about it?
He replies, "I am in the shower right now, but would like to me up with you for some fun"
By now, my mind is freakin & I start feeling my heart pumpin heavier, still abit confused.
So I reply back, "you wanna play around?" He says "yes, but you have to promise to take this to your grave."
We did end up hooking up that night, then on a regular basis..
What bothered me tho, was that he was always telling me about hooking up with girls & saying that they're hot & wants to fuck this girl or that girl. But would never say that about a guy.. so i was kinda put off, cuz if i said that out loud about a guy, he would shush me, in case somebody heard me..
He is married now, i dont talk to him much, but I always see his ads on craiglist & AFF cruising discreet guys..
So, Jusnycboi, he could be so far in the closet that you make him feel ok about himself, or he's bi & figuring it out. Next time he tells you he's horny, ask him if he needs a hand to help him out & see where it leads!

Good Luck!
 
I would leave things be. Why risk complicating the friendship by making a move? If for some reason he's actually gay or bi, he'll tell you that in time.
 
Wel478 said:
Well, so much for that!

Sorry for the slight derail, couldn't resist....
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Since nobody will know who he is here, I feel it is safe.. Its not like I outed him by giving his name..
 
I thought it was relevant. I think talking about similar experiences is usually very helpful to the people that post questions.
 
He may just be really comfortable with sexuality.


I used to talk to straight guys like that. We respected that our sexuality was different, but we openly talked discussed our sex lives, masturbation etc.


Unless he directly shows interest in you, or actual attraction to guys in general, assume he's straight.
 
"he did this... i was shocked! then he did this... i was shocked! omg what should i do?"

i think you need to stop your fear-induced passivity and make up your mind about what you want out of this. do you want him as a friend? do you want to screw around? or something else? make up your mind and act accordingly. if you make a move on him, you might lose him as a friend... but thats ok if youre not interested in him as a friend anyway, right?
 
As Jensu's story illustrates, straight and gay are not exclusive categories. In fact, most people fall in the middle, with some capacity for sexual desire and/or romantic feelings for both genders. Your friend might be heteroflexible and curious to explore some sort of sexual experience with you.

Ask him to take my Flex Test at flexuality.info if you want to get a clearer picture.
 
Of course he's gay. He's totally in the closet (like that other guy who ended up getting married and cruising craigslist) and, perhaps, in denial, too.

I don't subscribe to the "believe 100% what your friends tell you" because everybody lies about everything. It's up to you to decipher the truth.

It could end up being painful if he won't come out of the closet (or come out of denial), so that's the risk you take. It's all up to you.
 
depends on what you really want. If you want to date a guy then him being gay too is necessary.... if you both want to just fool around, then I don't think it matters much. And he can actually not be gay and still enjoy having sex with you. Perhaps you're 'the exception' or whatever. But anyways the harm comes in, getting your heart involved too soon. The great thing about a heart is how much it loves, the bad thing about a heart is how much it hurts when it gets broken.

I think the problem comes with 'straight guys' is that the person just isn't in touch with their own emotions and what they really want. They say they want love, but really all they want is just to have sex and fool around. You gotta be stable with yourself and what you can really handle. It's a very specific thing, and depends on the individual. Some people are OK with lots of sex, others it feels meaningless and trashy.
 
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