Is it a good idea to came out at young age?

[Seasoned]

Age ought not be the driving force when coming out. The main concerns are an overwhelming need to stop hiding and being and staying safe, physically, emotionally and financially. Instinctively we know this and that is why we have our initial fear of coming out. Live by this: "do what you want ans don't do what you don't want to do."

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Enchanted,

Is it really a good idea to came out at this age?

Yes.

* I tend to think that you feel relaxed & comfortable that you are gay.
* more easy to make gay friends, and no need to hide / ly to your parents (and friends, so the rest of the world) that you are gay / have gay friends / support all kind of pro gay activities (e.g. sign online petitions).
* your parents don't seem homophobes, and maybe they just might need some time to get used to the idea that their beloved son will not marry a girl.
* and open to your parents means u don't need to hide to them when you would have a boyfriend, or you would date a guy (or things like that).
* dating other guys / getting a boyfriend is much less complicated when your parents are aware that you are gay.
* over here, open gays often tell that they prefer dating open gays (so no closet cases).
* why not?

Good luck with your decision.

Feel free to ask for more advice.

 

[Benvolio]

Age ought not be the driving force when coming out. The main concerns are an overwhelming need to stop hiding and being and staying safe, physically, emotionally and financially. Instinctively we know this and that is why we have our initial fear of coming out. Live by this: "do what you want ans don't do what you don't want to do."

Do not come out until you are settled into a career. It is unfair but some occupations and professions are less available to open gays. Once you are out you cannot go back, so do not rush it.

 

[TX-Beau]

I kinda outed myself when I was 19 - which led to a series of spectacular dramas - but I've never regretted being out either.

Per the work thing, why would you want to spend your life in a career where you have shivering in fear in a closet? With colleagues who are homophobes. Anyway there may still be some places like that, but they are shrinking very very fast, and frankly - it's not 1950 anymore baby.

OK your parents are a harder proposition, and it is necessary for them to know. You can jump in - which is what I did - and most parents will surprise you, it's not really that easy to throw away a child, and frankly we're never as sneaky as we think we are, odds are they already guess, but don't want to deal with it for one reason or another, but you can mitigate how they find out and what preparation you've made for your own stability.

Nevertheless, the earlier you come out, the better off you are, there are even people alive in the US today who were never in the closet in the first place. One friend of mine was Doris Day's biggest fan growing up, and his parents were completely supportive of him from the start. He's far more balanced and confident about himself than guys who spent years hiding in a closet, and frankly he has only an intillectual understanding of the closet and it's issues. ...one day I dream all of us will be like that...

You don't have to tell everyone all at once. Tell your friends FIRST, build up a support network, THEN tell your parents. But start now.

Do not waste valuable youth on the closet.

You won't get it back, and it will stunt your ability to have relationships when you do come out simply because you will have lost all that time to practice. Plus the guys, there are just so many guys and so little time....

 

[shoden]

You definitely need to start with buddies and work your way into the family and professional networks you may have.

 

[ThatRandomGuy]

I came out at a young age. I didn't have much support behind me or any gay friends but it was a good thing for me to do personally. You should come out when you're ready. Putting it off can cause problems as well. When you're young it can be hard at first but you'll have a longer time to experience and handle reactions in order to grow as an individual. It helped me to influence others to come out, make friends and gain a family that supports me as well as a job but not all individuals are that lucky or strong-minded to handle all that comes with it especially at a young age.

 

[Rolyo85]

I came out very late (25), and I hate that I wasted all my undergrad years in the closet. I could go on, but TX-Beau already said everything I'd say.