Is it easier for women to pretend they're not gay, compared to men

[bigpayback]

Is it easier for women to pretend they're not guy than men...

I guess it's obvious that a lot of women fake orgasms, while a man has to get an erection. It all relates to the male being the dominant force because he has a "tool"...lol I was just wondering if anyone has any insight on this topic. Maybe guys can fake having sex with girls, but I the way I look at it, if I'm not turned on, I'm not going to get hard. I think if a guy says he's not enjoying having sex with girls than he really must enjoy having sex with girls. Am I totally off base?

 

[bigpayback]

I guess it's obvious that a lot of women fake orgasms, while a man has to get an erection. It all relates to the male being the dominant force because he has a "tool"...lol I was just wondering if anyone has any insight on this topic. Maybe guys can fake having sex with girls, but I the way I look at it, if I'm not turned on, I'm not going to get hard. I think if a guy says he's not enjoying having sex with girls than he really must enjoy having sex with girls. Am I totally off base?

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Is it easier for women to pretend they're not guy than men...

While having sex? Yeah, I guess it'd be easier for the woman to fake enjoyment than the guy. But that's...what? 0.1% of the time. They'd have to fake it the other 99.9% of the time, too. And I'm guessing they'd have the same problems as guys would during that portion.

Lex

 

[spreadeagle]

Don't confuse orgasm with ejaculation. Just because you cum it doesn't mean you enjoyed it. And don't assume that the myth of simultaneous climaxes in the throes penetrative intercourse is the norm.

Nor should you under-rate the capacity of people to delude themselves in sexual matters - recall the male Chinese spy who for years duped the French diplomat into betraying secrets while they were in bed together, the diplomat believing the whole time that he was screwing a woman.

In the 19th century female sexual arousal was considered depraved and a sign of insanity, and until the sexual revolution lots of women never knew what an orgasm was - female passivity is probably still the expectation in much of the world (c/f female circumcision). When the 'norm' for female sexuality is to 'close your eyes and think of England' it's not even necessary to pretend to have an orgasm - in fact you might be more concerned with pretending you hadn't.

 

[evil_danger]

Guys have sex with people there not atracted to all the time, stimulation of the genitals is probably going to get you hard whether your turned on or not. Also I know guys who have faked orgasms just to get it over with (okay, they had to wear a condom to hide the fact, but they still have faked orgasms)

From a non sexual stand point I think its easier for a woman to hide their sexuality since women are much more open about their feelings than guys, its not common to see guys hugging or even kissing, but girls do it all the time.

To be honist, its not easy to hide your sexuality unless you live a compleatly loveless life with no physical contact, someones going to have a idea of who you are regardless.

 

[strataboy19]

In today's society, a woman with some masculine qualities is a little more accepted than a man with some effeminate qualities. Also, I think a woman who never dates guys may be a little less likely to be questioned as homosexual than a guy who never dates girls...but then again I've never been a woman (thank goodness) so what do I know about it?

 

[kayman23]

It is true here in the US, as we seem to have an obsession with "Who's gay" phenomenon. There seems to be still a stigma with the effeminate behavior amongst males (hell it exist within the mentality of a lot homosexual and bisexual men also). When a guy acts "abnormal" something is wrong or undesirable about the person while on the other hand "tomboy" or masculine behavior is behavior is promoted amongst females. Another reason in my book that the world is going to hell in a handbasket due to hypocrispy.

 

[bigpayback]

It is true here in the US, as we seem to have an obsession with "Who's gay" phenomenon. There seems to be still a stigma with the effeminate behavior amongst males (hell it exist within the mentality of a lot homosexual and bisexual men also). When a guy acts "abnormal" something is wrong or undesirable about the person while on the other hand "tomboy" or masculine behavior is behavior is promoted amongst females. Another reason in my book that the world is going to hell in a handbasket due to hypocrispy.

My sociology teacher said that from an early age, girls who are tom boys are accepted because they're were also valued less in society. If a boy was effeminate, it would be dealt with immediately because males were expected to be "masculine," which I know is a gender stereotype and doesn't necessarily have to do with biological sex. Tomboyish girls were expected to grow out of it and if they didn't, no one really cared...haha That's crazy.

Also, I started this thread because I was thinking that girls can slide by and fake enjoyment to fit into society or whatever other reason, while for a man, it is more difficult. Some of you have said that a lot of guys ejaculate when stimulated, and I'm sure some guys can do that, but for me, a girl has to be pretty damn hot even for me to be mildly aroused and they have to be naked, while with guys, I can get turned on even if the guy was wearing a winter coat, pants, scarf, etc...lol you get the picture. Basically, it takes a lot for a female to make my dick rise. Plus, if I could get past managing to get an erection, I'd find it hard to fake it. If I had to, I would but definitely not on a regular basis. And I kind of lost of track that men who are bottoms are in an easy position to fake orgasms, but I was really referring to the top's difficulty to get "hard" when he's not aroused. And since the female only has one option, which is to be penetrated, she can only be compared to a man who is a bottom...wow, that all sounds so confusing now. haha

 

[Candyapple]

Also, I started this thread because I was thinking that And since the female only has one option, which is to be penetrated, she can only be compared to a man who is a bottom...wow, that all sounds so confusing now. haha

I've read this entire thread, and I'm still not sure what you're arguing, or what your point is? Maybe I'm being really blonde today, but I just don't get it.

And I disagree with your statement 'a female can only be compared to a man who is a bottom'. That's not how I see intercourse at all. I'm not a 'bottom'. I'm a woman. (NOT 'a female').

So typical of the way society views intercourse, to insist that women are penetrated, women are passive, sex is something that men 'do' to women. That's not how I experience it. In a society less male-dominated, maybe we'd talk about 'the vagina accepting the penis' or 'the woman takes the penis into herself' or 'the vagina enfolds the penis' or some other formulation that doesn't make women the fucked, men the 'fucker' (as it were).

How do you know that lots of women fake orgasms? Have you asked many? I've faked precisely one in my whole life, many years ago, with a guy who wasn't going to stop banging away at me till I came (which wasn't going to happen, with him) and it was getting painful. Every other time, I simply don't need to fake orgasms. I have them really easily!

 

[bigpayback]

I've read this entire thread, and I'm still not sure what you're arguing, or what your point is? Maybe I'm being really blonde today, but I just don't get it.

And I disagree with your statement 'a female can only be compared to a man who is a bottom'. That's not how I see intercourse at all. I'm not a 'bottom'. I'm a woman. (NOT 'a female').

So typical of the way society views intercourse, to insist that women are penetrated, women are passive, sex is something that men 'do' to women. That's not how I experience it. In a society less male-dominated, maybe we'd talk about 'the vagina accepting the penis' or 'the woman takes the penis into herself' or 'the vagina enfolds the penis' or some other formulation that doesn't make women the fucked, men the 'fucker' (as it were).

How do you know that lots of women fake orgasms? Have you asked many? I've faked precisely one in my whole life, many years ago, with a guy who wasn't going to stop banging away at me till I came (which wasn't going to happen, with him) and it was getting painful. Every other time, I simply don't need to fake orgasms. I have them really easily!

I meant to say that some women fake orgasms. Sorry about that. Also, I don't think women are secondary in society, I was just stating information from sociology class and books. Plus, when I said that women can be compared to men who are bottoms because a woman can't insert something into someone else unless she's wearing a strap-on. I should have been more clear. I'm aware that women can be the aggressor during sex and can have sex in the top position. My main point was that an erect penis is more difficult to fake than for women. Heck, when a man gets aroused in public, he has to worry about his erection showing. So with that said, if a girl is attracted to a woman or man, she can hide her sexual feelings much more easily, while if a man is aroused by a man he sees in the checkout line, he really has to concentrate on his dick not getting visibly hard. I hope that makes more sense.

 

[Candyapple]

I meant to say that some women fake orgasms. Sorry about that. Also, I don't think women are secondary in society, I was just stating information from sociology class and books. Plus, when I said that women can be compared to men who are bottoms because a woman can't insert something into someone else unless she's wearing a strap-on. I should have been more clear. I'm aware that women can be the aggressor during sex and can have sex in the top position. My main point was that an erect penis is more difficult to fake than for women. Heck, when a man gets aroused in public, he has to worry about his erection showing. So with that said, if a girl is attracted to a woman or man, she can hide her sexual feelings much more easily, while if a man is aroused by a man he sees in the checkout line, he really has to concentrate on his dick not getting visibly hard. I hope that makes more sense.

Yes, thanks for clarifying. I didn't mean to criticise you personally in my last post, by the way, hope it didn't come across that way - I realised *YOU* aren't saying women are secondary in society, just that this theory is so deeply ingrained in most people that they don't even notice it.

Very true about the differences between male and female arousal being physically visible, or not. However, for me at least, it's impossible to have sex without being aroused (ie, wet - don't mean to gross you out, but that's how it is) So although it's much easier in one sense for women to hide their same-sex arousal, it can also be difficult for women to have intercourse with someone they're not attracted to (though admittedly it's a lot easier to 'fake' with lube than it is for a man to 'fake' an erection!)

 

[bigpayback]

Yes, thanks for clarifying. I didn't mean to criticise you personally in my last post, by the way, hope it didn't come across that way - I realised *YOU* aren't saying women are secondary in society, just that this theory is so deeply ingrained in most people that they don't even notice it.

Very true about the differences between male and female arousal being physically visible, or not. However, for me at least, it's impossible to have sex without being aroused (ie, wet - don't mean to gross you out, but that's how it is) So although it's much easier in one sense for women to hide their same-sex arousal, it can also be difficult for women to have intercourse with someone they're not attracted to (though admittedly it's a lot easier to 'fake' with lube than it is for a man to 'fake' an erection!)

Thank you! We agree!

 

[Shepherd 2]

Say what?
This talk goes round and round,
and goes no where.
Shep+