is it normal not to want a relationship?

[davy]

it's a simple question and it seems to make sense.

- masturbation is a lot more fulfilling than sex.
- every guy i've meet make good friends, but i'm not interested in anything further.
- i've repeatedly learned from experience not to socialize with coworkers outside of work.
- there are VERY few gays in the things that interest me. (trust me on this)

at the ripe old age of 28 ( ) not only have i not had a serious relationship; my desire for one is really lacking.

don't get me wrong ..... i'm not complaining..... sometimes, i even like to romanticize the idea of being half of a couple ...... but my reality has me geared as a life-long bachelor.

is it unhealthy or unwise not to want to pursue a relationship with anyone?

...... inquiring minds want to know

 

[Corny]

I was like you for a long time after my first (silly) relationship (except that I never agreed on masturbation being better than sex ).
It felt good for so long, but at some point things somehow changed (or better: collapsed), and I began thinking about being with someone again. I am still quite much of a loner, I need a lot of space and time for myself, I cannot be in that kind of relationship where you sit on each others lap all the time
Is it normal not to strive for a relationship? Should it be "normal" because society expects everybody to have a mate? Do you as a gay person really care what society expects, and what they call normal? What counts is that you are happy. That you think your life is fulfilling. Is it unhealthy? Probably not. Unwise? Not necessarily.
It is unhealthy if you want someone but don't have someone and thus are unhappy. It is unwise if you are the kind of guy that needs the extra support, and it is also unwise if you *do* want to be in a relationship but keep yourself from ending in one because you think it is better for you
You see where I am going? You mentioned that you like to romanticize the idea - on the other hand you say that you have no desire for being part of a couple. That's contradicting.
So do you really NOT want to be in a relationship, or do you just think that it will never work is unlikely you are the wrong person and you will never find someone matching you?

Oh and don't worry about the "gay" thing. The only thing that needs to be "gay" in a relationship where you are a part of is your partner. You don't need to marry a mac-fanboi who polishes his iWhatever and you don't need to marry a guy who can sing along all Madonna songs

 

[Horschallen]

Sure... it is perfectly normal not to want a relationship. It is not normal if one obsesses on wanting one too much.

 

[GL]

i think if you are happy and content with your life then what does it matter? relationships are not for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[racer2438]

I think it was the best thing I ever did.

I met my honey when I was 18yrs old.
he was my 1st bf ever...

and we fell in love at first sight...

we have been together for 24-1/2yrs
and I would have not changed one thing.

So it's good for some and not others.


some people have asked me why not try someone else and experinace more guy's.


I just say I never had to. I found evething I needed in one guy and he is all mine...

 

[davy]

...
It is unhealthy if you want someone but don't have someone and thus are unhappy. It is unwise if you are the kind of guy that needs the extra support, and it is also unwise if you *do* want to be in a relationship but keep yourself from ending in one because you think it is better for you
You see where I am going? You mentioned that you like to romanticize the idea - on the other hand you say that you have no desire for being part of a couple. That's contradicting.
So do you really NOT want to be in a relationship, or do you just think that it will never work is unlikely you are the wrong person and you will never find someone matching you?

...

i also fantasize about joining nasa and going to the moon.. but that doesn't mean i want to join the air force and double major in rocket science and physics.

... honestly, i think i get what you mean. i ask because i'm not sure going solo is a valid lifestyle.

...
I can take a 4 hour walk after work to relax around the lake without someone freaking out because i was supposed to 'be home'. I eat what I want to eat, spend my money on what I want to spend it, and no one can ask why.

It all comes down to me liking to be alone. I have friends I do things with, friends at work. and thats all the socializing I can stand.

...

being accountable to someone else has never bothered me. i've always been given a longer leash that i would have wanted, so explaining my actions doesn't get to me.

additionally, being accountable to someone else has always made me a better person. every time i'm dating, i exercise and eat right, because he likes me like that or i work harder or work overtime to buy him nice toys.

when i'm alone; i smoke tons of pot, eat whatever i want and and stop exercising because it pleases me.

Relationships take constant maintenance and some people may not feel that it is worth all the time and work that is required to nurture and maintain it.

i've never been scared of work. it gives me a sense of purpose of fullfilment. i don't think i would shy away from that.

i think if you are happy and content with your life then what does it matter? relationships are not for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that.

i'm not wondering if it's wrong or right; i'm wondering if it's healthy, emotionally or pschologically, to make a decision like this.

sometimes i'm happy being single and sometimes i'm not. i fantasize about having a boyfriend for those times i'm not. which (thinking about it now) is probably a bad idea.

 

[GL]

^ i honestly don't know whether a solitary life is healthy emotionally or psychologically. i think there are many people who live their lives in alone and are perfectly fine with it. i think what matter most is if you are happy in the life you live. there are those who find they need someone to be with to be happy. is that healthy emotionally or psychologically as well? i guess what i'm trying to say is that i don't believe one is better than the other. you just have to find the one that makes sense for you.

 

[kingkhan]

I enjoy my solitude but, sometimes it makes me very sad. For me it seems my problem is with women I don't have the slightest clue of how to get in a relationship with. And with guys I don't really view them in a romantic way and like the op said I have not found a gay guy that shares the same interests as me. Also, overall I am not so much a shy person but, just really introverted and I don't always feel it easy to express how I feel to other people I feel trapped in my thoughts sometimes.