Is it possible for a gay man to fall in love with a woman?

[TX-Beau]

I've been attracted to exactly one woman in my life. Like you it wasn't really sexual attraction, but I thought that maybe, then I went there, and discovered just how big a queer I really am.

She knew I was gay going in, so we both understood it was an experiment. We can both laugh about it now, but it was a little awkward for a couple of months. We're really good friends still, but her husband has some weird issues concerning me (they didn't know each other when this happened,) he thinks that deep down I'm somehow straight for her and just biding my time. Which is funny because the boy is smokin' hot and I'd pick bangin him over her any day of the week.

 

[LoveIsNow]

I know of women who've fallen in love with gay men, and gay men who've fallen in love with straight men. I think it isn't entirely inconceivable that it could happen the other way, where the person who couldn't have the physical attraction has the emotional attraction. It doesn't sound fun, though. I suppose you should follow the standard advice to try and realize that it can't be, and look for someone you can have a more normal relationship with.

 

[KaraBulut]

If you were a straight guy posting that you had an attraction to your male friend, then the advice would be to talk about it, if you both feel the same way, then give it a try.

The same advice would apply to a gay man who has the same feelings toward a woman. If she knows that you're predominantly gay, she has feelings toward you, then follow your heart.

 

[TX-Beau]

I think maybe it would be the same with me, because the one woman I did sleep with (experimented with lesbian friend) didn't do a lot for me.

The scary thing is, I've never felt so connected or in love with a man. I hope this doesn't continue. Only falling in love with women and only being sexually attracted to men. What a mind fuck!

Well, how old are you, I'd be worried if you're like 50 and never found a guy you connected with, but if you're like 18 or thereabouts you have plenty of time. The attraction for me was pretty much a total compatibility thing, we clicked on every level but the sex one. SO we were friends not prospective partners. You can't fake the sexual attraction and you both deserve a partner that can give you the full spectrum of love and commitment.

It's a tired cliche, but it works, don't spend all your time worrying/obsessing about a relationship. I personally am a lot more attracted to guys who are in control of their lives, and having a good time with it, than I am to guys who are searching for partners all the damn time. I'm a person not a relationship, good relationships develop in my opinion when two people find each other, not when one guy finds a relationship and the other doesn't realize that's what he's been categorized as. Try trying to make yourself a Mr. right 'cause usually if that's what you're working on, a guy generally pops up along the way.

Funny, it's usually when I have a guy and it's almost over that I start toying with the idea of straight.

 

[TX-Beau]

There are so many women I get on great with and have genuine feelings for (non-sexual though) that I always imagine "If I weren't gay" it would be something great.

Herein lies the conundrum, if you were straight, you wouldn't have all those women friends you get along so well with.

 

[slnattak]

Of course, I fell in love with my best friend. =) But it was more a really good friends thing lol like a straight 'bromance?' Idk

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Confused....welcome to JUB! Its great to have you on board mate.

I guess the best way to answer your question is to quickly explain why I had to eventually come out... firstly to myself and then everyone else.

I knew I was gay... always did I guess... but it wasnt until I fell in love with an amazing woman... like you suggested... a soulmate. A person you feel so comfortable with, safe with, relaxed with. It was a connection that seemed so easy and right...

And yet I knew that I couldnt deny that part of me that was primal... beyond my control. And that was my sexuality.

So yeah mate, I believe its possible to fall in love with anyone on an emotional level. Someone who supports you, fulfills you and cares about you is someone special and important... no matter what sex they are.

But at a deeper more complete level... a level where all of your soul mind and body is connected I think you'll already understand that theres love... and theres love.

Dont beat yourself up over an amazing connection mate... they are too rare and too special to miss out on... even if they can only ever be platonic. Just listen to your heart... you'll know the answer!