Is it required to come out?

[aethelreddansforth]

I don't see the point of it. I've figured that I'm bi, sort of. i like women and enjoy fucking men. however, i don't see the need to be out. it's not about of shame or self-hatred. i like myself and who i am overall. it's just i don't see what business it is of anybody else whom i fuck or enjoy shagging. as long as I'm not hurting others, i don't see the problem.

Some people say one must be out to all. why? why do even random strangers or acquaintances need to know what one's sexual orientation is?

 

[firsttimeagain]

I’m guessing I’m not necessarily qualified to say much because I am only curious as far as experience goes. I have always known I was more than curious. Though my relationships have all been with women in the past, I’ve truly desired to be with a man my entire life. I love women and have had some great relationships. However, my desires for a man has never changed. I have recently finally come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It is not going away, it just gets stronger everyday. I do not want to go back. I have recently joined a dating relationship website looking for gay only. So, posting pictures of my face is kinda coming out. Very skeptical to post those pics, but if anyone sees them that I know, then I guess they are also looking for the same thing. I’m not going to shout from a mountain top or walk in a parade, it’s not my style. I act straight and I am not changing that. I agree, it’s not necessary to come out to all. I want to come out fully only to potential guys that I’m interested in. I assume in that process that some other people will find out I am gay. I want tell them, but if people see me with the same guy all the time I think they will figure it out. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in a relationship with a female and it’s given me time to search my soul for what I truly want. What I truly want is a full versatile relationship with a man. It’s time to be who I am and not hide behind a relationship with a female. I’ve always fantasized about men always and I’m not turned on in the least with heterosexual porn. Gay porn on the other hand turns me on like nothing else can. The feeling that I have inside is undeniable. I’m looking forward to it. I know there will be challenges and I know that people are going to figure it out as time passes. I will keep my business to myself and my future partner. As far as I’m concerned, You are correct, strangers and acquaintances do not need to know. But, if those strangers and acquaintances become closer as I search for the right partner, then I guess they will know. Lol. I’m frightened to come out completely, but I’m looking so forward to the journey and having those conversations with potential partners is exciting. Just being here and opening up is liberating and a huge step for me. I wish I would have years ago, but now is the time…

 

[fredroy]

I've never made a fuss about it. We become friends, you'll figure it out. The random clerk at the grocery store, etc? None of their business.
I've had a couple of friends that acted surprised. "But, but, you like working on cars and doing other manly stuff!" No kidding, I'm a man. Not a woman.

I've had a few folks ask at work. Some right out, some beating around the subject. I'm pretty clueless about this stuff regarding trying to pick-up someone. Oblivious is the word. I ask "What does it matter? You are a nice person but I'll never date anyone I work with."

I learned from my first "real" job you don't get your meat where you get your bread. As in, don't date the waitresses, ever.

 

[sexyloverboy]

I’m guessing I’m not necessarily qualified to say much because I am only curious as far as experience goes. I have always known I was more than curious. Though my relationships have all been with women in the past, I’ve truly desired to be with a man my entire life. I love women and have had some great relationships. However, my desires for a man has never changed. I have recently finally come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It is not going away, it just gets stronger everyday. I do not want to go back. I have recently joined a dating relationship website looking for gay only. So, posting pictures of my face is kinda coming out. Very skeptical to post those pics, but if anyone sees them that I know, then I guess they are also looking for the same thing. I’m not going to shout from a mountain top or walk in a parade, it’s not my style. I act straight and I am not changing that. I agree, it’s not necessary to come out to all. I want to come out fully only to potential guys that I’m interested in. I assume in that process that some other people will find out I am gay. I want tell them, but if people see me with the same guy all the time I think they will figure it out. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in a relationship with a female and it’s given me time to search my soul for what I truly want. What I truly want is a full versatile relationship with a man. It’s time to be who I am and not hide behind a relationship with a female. I’ve always fantasized about men always and I’m not turned on in the least with heterosexual porn. Gay porn on the other hand turns me on like nothing else can. The feeling that I have inside is undeniable. I’m looking forward to it. I know there will be challenges and I know that people are going to figure it out as time passes. I will keep my business to myself and my future partner. As far as I’m concerned, You are correct, strangers and acquaintances do not need to know. But, if those strangers and acquaintances become closer as I search for the right partner, then I guess ...they will know. Lol. I’m frightened to come out completely, but I’m looking so forward to the journey and having those conversations with potential partners is exciting. Just being here and opening up is liberating and a huge step for me. I ....wish I would have years ago, but now is the time…

"My desires for a man has never changed. I have recently finally come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It is not going away, it just gets stronger everyday. I do not want to go back. I have recently joined a dating relationship website looking for gay only"....

I’ve always fantasized about men always and I’m not turned on in the least with heterosexual porn. Gay porn on the other hand turns me on like nothing else can. The feeling that I have inside is undeniable. I’m looking forward to it."

Sounds like you're on your way OUT my man.

I’m guessing I’m not necessarily qualified to say much because I am only curious as far as experience goes. I have always known I was more than curious. Though my relationships have all been with women in the past, I’ve truly desired to be with a man my entire life. I love women and have had some great relationships. However, my desires for a man has never changed. I have recently finally come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It is not going away, it just gets stronger everyday. I do not want to go back. I have recently joined a dating relationship website looking for gay only. So, posting pictures of my face is kinda coming out. Very skeptical to post those pics, but if anyone sees them that I know, then I guess they are also looking for the same thing. I’m not going to shout from a mountain top or walk in a parade, it’s not my style. I act straight and I am not changing that. I agree, it’s not necessary to come out to all. I want to come out fully only to potential guys that I’m interested in. I assume in that process that some other people will find out I am gay. I want tell them, but if people see me with the same guy all the time I think they will figure it out. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in a relationship with a female and it’s given me time to search my soul for what I truly want. What I truly want is a full versatile relationship with a man. It’s time to be who I am and not hide behind a relationship with a female. I’ve always fantasized about men always and I’m not turned on in the least with heterosexual porn. Gay porn on the other hand turns me on like nothing else can. The feeling that I have inside is undeniable. I’m looking forward to it. I know there will be challenges and I know that people are going to figure it out as time passes. I will keep my business to myself and my future partner. As far as I’m concerned, You are correct, strangers and acquaintances do not need to know. But, if those strangers and acquaintances become closer as I search for the right partner, then I guess they will know. Lol. I’m frightened to come out completely, but I’m looking so forward to the journey and having those conversations with potential partners is exciting. Just being here and opening up is liberating and a huge step for me. I wish I would have years ago, but now is the time…

I’m guessing I’m not necessarily qualified to say much because I am only curious as far as experience goes. I have always known I was more than curious. Though my relationships have all been with women in the past, I’ve truly desired to be with a man my entire life. I love women and have had some great relationships. However, my desires for a man has never changed. I have recently finally come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It is not going away, it just gets stronger everyday. I do not want to go back. I have recently joined a dating relationship website looking for gay only. So, posting pictures of my face is kinda coming out. Very skeptical to post those pics, but if anyone sees them that I know, then I guess they are also looking for the same thing. I’m not going to shout from a mountain top or walk in a parade, it’s not my style. I act straight and I am not changing that. I agree, it’s not necessary to come out to all. I want to come out fully only to potential guys that I’m interested in. I assume in that process that some other people will find out I am gay. I want tell them, but if people see me with the same guy all the time I think they will figure it out. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in a relationship with a female and it’s given me time to search my soul for what I truly want. What I truly want is a full versatile relationship with a man. It’s time to be who I am and not hide behind a relationship with a female. I’ve always fantasized about men always and I’m not turned on in the least with heterosexual porn. Gay porn on the other hand turns me on like nothing else can. The feeling that I have inside is undeniable. I’m looking forward to it. I know there will be challenges and I know that people are going to figure it out as time passes. I will keep my business to myself and my future partner. As far as I’m concerned, You are correct, strangers and acquaintances do not need to know. But, if those strangers and acquaintances become closer as I search for the right partner, then I guess they will know. Lol. I’m frightened to come out completely, but I’m looking so forward to the journey and having those conversations with potential partners is exciting. Just being here and opening up is liberating and a huge step for me. I wish I would have years ago, but now is the time…

"My desires for a man has never changed. I have recently finally come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It is not going away, it just gets stronger everyday. I do not want to go back. I have recently joined a dating relationship website looking for gay only"....

I’ve always fantasized about men always and I’m not turned on in the least with heterosexual porn. Gay porn on the other hand turns me on like nothing else can. The feeling that I have inside is undeniable. I’m looking forward to it."

Sounds like you're on your way OUT...

 

[jjonn3]

What business is it of anyone else's other than you and the person you are having sex with?

Be out - don't be out.

The real goal is to be happy with who you are. Not saying I have achieved that - just saying that is the goal.

 

[MusicMan321]

You don't have to come out at all that's your own choice to do

 

[opinterph]

“The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you've just told them.”

― Rachel Maddow

 

[Hairyass1993]

Why even label it. You just being you.

 

[firsttimeagain]

"My desires for a man has never changed. I have recently finally come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It is not going away, it just gets stronger everyday. I do not want to go back. I have recently joined a dating relationship website looking for gay only"....

I’ve always fantasized about men always and I’m not turned on in the least with heterosexual porn. Gay porn on the other hand turns me on like nothing else can. The feeling that I have inside is undeniable. I’m looking forward to it."

Sounds like you're on your way OUT my man.



"My desires for a man has never changed. I have recently finally come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It is not going away, it just gets stronger everyday. I do not want to go back. I have recently joined a dating relationship website looking for gay only"....

I’ve always fantasized about men always and I’m not turned on in the least with heterosexual porn. Gay porn on the other hand turns me on like nothing else can. The feeling that I have inside is undeniable. I’m looking forward to it."

Sounds like you're on your way OUT...

Thanks for your response and taking time to read my long posts. As you highlighted a couple of sentences a couple of times and I read it back to myself twice, WOW…It really puts it into perspective huh? I just wonder why it’s taken so long when I’ve known for so long. I’m not sure just how OUT… I will be? I guess that is yet to be determined. I hope I can find the right person and then we will see about the rest. I act straight in my daily business, so how will that be different? It’s obvious that I have to come out enough to even have a chance to find what I’ve always wanted. But, It will be our business how out it is…but, you are correct, I am on my way OUT! and it feels so good…

 

[firsttimeagain]

Or at least part of the way out that feels good. I’m on a popular relationship site with my face pictures and my desires. As well as a popular dating app with the same pictures and desires. I’m guessing that step is already somewhat out, at least to those looking for the same on those platforms. I’m not much worried about those people looking and seeing me there because they are obvious in search as well. But, it’s all my friends and family and perfect strangers that I don’t want to come out to. Just no reason at this time to complicate things. But, yes I’m on my way out with the sites I’m on. It feels strange in a way, but, it feels really good at least chat with like minded guys. Even though it’s just messaging right now. No real prospects thus far. A lot of guys I’m not it to. One guy suggested going to a gay night at a club in a nearby city just to be around likeminded guys. Not to try to hookup with anyone, but to experience the hang and chat. It’s not out of the question, but that is a different step of courage I’ve never experienced. We will see if that is a step to take. It would be nice to go with someone to show me the ropes. But, that would mean I already have a gay friend to talk to. I don’t right now. One step at a time…I’m on my way…

 

[sexyloverboy]

Or at least part of the way out that feels good. I’m on a popular relationship site with my face pictures and my desires. As well as a popular dating app with the same pictures and desires. I’m guessing that step is already somewhat out, at least to those looking for the same on those platforms. I’m not much worried about those people looking and seeing me there because they are obvious in search as well... It’s not out of the question, but that is a different step of courage I’ve never experienced. We will see if that is a step to take. It would be nice to go with someone to show me the ropes. But, that would mean I already have a gay friend to talk to. I don’t right now. One step at a time…I’m on my way…

"A different step of courage I’ve never experienced...is that a step to take. It would be nice to go with someone to show me the ropes...a gay friend to talk to... it feels really good to chat with like minded guys"

Agreed, hit me up in PM and we'll chat

 

[aethelreddansforth]

Why even label it. You just being you.

saying labels are cringe is cringe.