Is my BFs arse too tight?

[Aussie_Matt]

Well heres my first post after reading stuff here for about a year.
I have been with my man 6 months. We have tried anal a long time ago but he was in too much pain and said he never wanted it again. Now we are very much in love and live together he wants it, and i want to give it. Trouble is he is soo tight. he can take my fingers if i go slow, but my cock wont go in. I push so hard and he almost screams, even tho only the head is in. I have done this to other guys in the past and its been easy. Im only average size, about 6.5. Any ideas on how to loosen him up would be great thanx

 

[evil_danger]

Basically this is going to be something you have to work on, bit of finger play, ad one, then another.

But really he cant be that tight, sounds more like hes not relaxed enough, make sure you are using a lot of lube and work on loosening him up, riming and finger play! there for a reason.

 

[Yorkeys Knob]

My partner had similar worries when we first meet, but after, encouraging him too finger himself and my doing it also, and buying him a small Dildo we now have no problems, and he has found that he enjoys anal so much. Part of the key is using plenty of lube, and getting your guy to relax, hell even give him a drink or too, don't get him pissed but just happy.

 

[gotdimples77]

make sure you do the make out thing where you kiss him alot and grab his ass, spank him a bit, mush it around hold it...if you can warm those muscles up they will relax...he is expecting it to hurt...so its gonna hurt...you have to get him to enjoy someone playing with his ass which is not something guys of any persuasion are used to doing. But if you make it part of your simply affectionate touching first it will dawn on him that it can be nice...that will start to warm him up. But yeah fingers and dildos and lots of lube ...and affection are the way to go once you get him used to the idea.

 

[sentirpromesas]

well...why dont u bottom for a change?

 

[thermodynamics]

Get him a small Dildo or better yet, a small butt plug that he can wear occasionally. That should help loosen him up.

 

[timnmostud]

There could be some performance anxiety on his part. If it hurt before, he is most likely afraid it will again and has trouble relaxing and opening up. Toys and LOTS of lube may help. Also, don't make it a goal everytime you are having sex. That just adds to the feeling that, 'OMG I know it's coming to that soon'! Just have some fun and maybe some external ass play so he gets to like the feeling of it and inserting fingers and toys when he is comfortable with that. Maybe backing off of the fucking thing for a bit might help. Toys and fingers are great, but really don't compa to a real throbbing cock in the passion of sex. While I can get into it pretty fast, not everyone can. But, I will say that it is a lot better when it gets to the point that I am so into sex that I just can't wait to get that cock in me! Usually it's not the end goal, but under the right passionate circumstances, I definitely want it! I don't know if any of that makes sense or helps, but I hope you two are able to go further. Nothing quite as nice in the world as having someone you love and want to actually be inside you! Good luck! Keep the dialogue open and be patient and I am sure it will happen.

 

[jockboy01]

Give him a wee bit of poppers to sniff on

Not recommended. Poppers aren't without risks. The key as stated is slow, loosen him up, lots of lube and patience.

 

[Aussie_Matt]

well...why dont u bottom for a change?

I bottom quite alot.

Thanx for all your help,, think i will go Dildo shopping soon. Maybe alot is in his head but he is unusually tight.

 

[Pyramus11]

I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I'm having the same problem, except in reverse. My new BF is huge, like 8 or 9 inches, and thick, and I'm scared. Really scared. I want him to fuck me, but I don't want to be split in half... I've only been fucked once before, and that guy was only 6.5" and kind of thin...

 

[chrisdobro]

My new BF is huge, like 8 or 9 inches, and thick, and I'm scared. Really scared. I want him to fuck me, but I don't want to be split in half... I've only been fucked once before, and that guy was only 6.5" and kind of thin...

simply put, tell him to not insert his dick all the way into you. In anal sex you don't have to insert the penis all the way in. Half or a quarter length insertion will do fine and still get him off and still give you more than enough

That covered, you need to have enough trust in him that you know he will not hurt you. Having that things should be easy.

When I top someone I don't insert it right away (I don't think you ever do unless your guys is into pain). I take good 3-5 minutes of nudging the hole with my tip. Eventually the hole opens up large enough for me to enter without great resistance and without hurting anyone. And yes, get enough lube.

If you've done all this and still having problems, then it's either performance anxiety or related issue, or the guy has just not worked up to it.

With performance anxiety, it helps to keep communication open, talk to your guy, find out where he's at mentally and address each of his possible concerns and worries (said and unsaid) and tell him that you're watching out for him.

And if he's not wide enough, then it just takes some practice.

 

[sentirpromesas]

no poppers...anyone who tells u otherwise hasnt researched very well

"Poppers are hazardous to the health in many different ways: They damage the immune system. They reduce the ability of blood to carry oxygen. They cause anemia (both Heinz body hemolytic anemia and methemoglobinemia). They damage the lungs. Poppers are powerfully mutagenic (that is, they cause cellular mutations), and they have the potential to cause cancer by producing deadly N-nitroso compounds. Poppers can cause serious skin burns and death or brain damage from cardiovascular collapse or stroke. Poppers have been used successfully to commit suicide (by drinking) and murder. (The victim was gagged with a sock soaked with poppers.)"

 

[Shepherd 2]

Caoch Shep for the tight arse fellows.
Go to the adult toy stores you well endowed tops and buy a variety of sizes of dildoes with your match the goal, and start to give your loved one the warm up exercises, and when you get to where you want, then put the toys aside and use the real thing.
This may take several weeks, but by then you have some interesting things you are already doing.

It may also help to learn where the prostate gland is and learn to caress it repeatedly with your index or middle finger. Suggest that he assume a positioin as if he is about to take a shit, and then you do your work. You may be surprised what you add to your sexual arsenal. Good luck. My cock is like a beer can in shape, and I have some experience with this concern. It can be worked out to everyones great joy and satisfaction.
Shep+

 

[Matthew-]

Aussie Matt, I think its just that some guy take the pain better than others...

 

[Aussie_Matt]

Aussie Matt, I think its just that some guy take the pain better than others...

could have a lot to do with it,, hurts me alot at first when i bottom, but i take one for the team. Not to mention how bloody good it feels when the pain goes