Is Santa Gay?

[greaves]

Despite the attempts by Hollywood to suggest there is a Mrs Claus, Santa seems, like Jesus, to prefer the company of males.

Is it time for Santa to cum out to all his faithful followers?

 

[Marbas]

^
Surely you're not insinuating that Mr. Claus is a kiddie fiddler?

 

[Brijan]

Given that Santa's WHOLE business and schtick revolves around children, I would think it's PRETTY damn obvious what Santa is.

Michael Jackson in a fat suit and fake beard?

 

[GL]

I think the question we should be asking is if Hermey is gay.

I've heard arguments that he is not. But I'm not convinced.

 

[davy]

I merely point out a distinct behavioural pattern as a cautionary note, and suggest that other linked patterns of behaviour, taken commulatively, be examined objectively.

As such, I'm not SAYing anything and I can hardly be responsible for what others may inFER from what I AM saying.

so...........................



it's not your fault if anyone comes to an understanding based on what you say?

 

[FirePhoenix]

I think the question we should be asking is if Hermey is gay.

I've heard arguments that he is not. But I'm not convinced.

Anyone see any female elves? nope me neither... nuff' said.
All those cute little elves playing with their "tools"

 

[irish1]

He can't be gay. He no sense of fashion.

 

[FirePhoenix]

Has anyone seen Mr. Claus and Mrs. Clause together? can anyone say drag queen

 

[Brijan]

Has anyone seen Mr. Claus and Mrs. Clause together? can anyone say drag queen

LOL!
A bigger mystery solved than the one presented in the Da Vinci Code!

 

[gmoney]

Why I think Santa is Gay

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myths, but I believe Santa is gay. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a straight man could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, think about the planning that goes into an event like Christmas. Even Martha Stewart is envious. Straight men have day jobs, so they wouldn't have time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a bell all day. But if you're a gay, out-of-work Actor/Dancer/Waiter, it's the perfect gig until you get your big break.

Also, if he were straight he would have picked a more masculine animal than the reindeer to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the reindeer just happens to appeal to Santa's inherent sense of grace and beauty. And those names: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen? Fill in the blanks.

Mrs. Clause has been married to him for eons and he's never fathered a child with her, she's over-weight and still content. Can you say "Fag-hag"?

Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's gay too! "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." As if he wanted to. Isn't Rudolph really a metaphor for the gay child in a straight society anyway?

Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert at Christmas time? Well, now you know. And stop pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've always liked fruitcake.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a straight man:

Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one night trip!

Red velvet, fur collar, black engineer boots. Think people!!!

Physically he's a wet dream for the Girth and Mirth club and the perfect poster model for Bear Poster Child!

Gay men have long been using stockings to hide their candy.

Toys, toys, toys.

HoHo / Homo. A little too similar if you ask me.

That long over-night flight around the world taps into the flight attendant gene.

And one more thing, did you ever know a straight man named Nicholas? Oh, straight society has tried to butch up his image by calling him St. Nick, but we know better. It's Nicholas, damn it! . . . or Ms. Claus if you're nasty.

 

[bike10]

Rumor has he only cums once a year!

 

[Centexfarmer]

With "Helpers" like these, who wouldn't be?

 

[unclaimedblessing]

He's not gay.
The fat bastard is a pedophile.
"Hello little boy. What would you like for Christmas?
Would you like to see Santas' wee-wee?
Then he sneaks into homes after the parents are asleep.
There should be a bounty on him. Gather the villagers and torches.

 

[RationalLunacy]

Santa is indeed not gay. He and Mrs. Claus have been happily married for many years.

What is not commonly known, however, is that they do have a gay son. His name is Bruce Vilanch.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Oh yes, Hermey is indeed gay.

 

[GL]

Oh yes, Hermey is indeed gay.

Yes! Someone else who believes!

 

[josher]

Santa is indeed not gay. He and Mrs. Claus have been happily married for many years.

What is not commonly known, however, is that they do have a gay son. His name is Bruce Vilanch.

You are too funny! How do you come up with these things so fast? I did truly laugh out loud.

 

[GL]

Yeah, me neither. I never bought that, "I want to be a dentist" line, either. Interior decorator, hairdresser, florist, waiter, maybe.

Anyway, if Santa IS gay, he's the ULTIMATE sugar daddy.

Exactly! Another believer to the cause!