Is this normal?

[xyzguy]

Ok, lets say you have this friend. This friend likes to call you and talk. Well... most of the time he calls and I talk. Sometimes while I'm talking he just goes quiet, and I'm like, hello? And he doesn't say shit. Im like, hello hello hello are you there... until I hang up, then later on he says he was just listening to my voice and hearing me talk. I don't get it, why would someone do that?

And I have talked to him about it, and he still does it....

 

[Christopher123]

Ummmmmmm... this is definitely a new one.

 

[Lucas07]

That's kinda sweet actually

 

[xyzguy]

How is he just listening and not talking back sweet? Its infuriating.

 

[kevin23]

Sounds like some one pulling a joke on you, not a friend. Or, do you tend to talk alot, dominate conversations? Maybe they are trying to make a point, that you don't really listen to others.
Either way , it doesn't sound like a friend. Sorry.

 

[xyzguy]

I'm usually quiet.

And I try to get him to talk more.

 

[dezzab]

ever though he might have a crush on you?!

 

[KennyD]

It sounds like he likes to listen to your voice ... kind of romantic , isn't it ? But; then again, it could get annoying ... so the next time .. just say the "Hello" ONCE ; then HANG UP !!!

 

[M4P]

That drives me crazy. I think who ever places the phone call better have something to say and should be the one to drive the conversation

 

[puka-pride]

my ex would just sit there and listen to me all the time.. never said anything back... just listened.. of course this was in person.. he never knew what i was talking about.. when i confronted him about it he just told me he doesn't care what i say.. just as long as i keep saying it... just so he can hear my voice...

it was sweet... but it also pissed me off cus he wasn't actually listening

 

[dmb7603]

he sounds like he is distracted and is making up an excuse why he didn't say anything.

if it bothers you that he does not say anything then hang up and eventually he will get the idea and will stop doing it

 

[sixthson]

It's normal if you're doing a monologue.

Sounds like he may be otherwise occupied. Maybe he thinks he's on the internet and multitasking?

Maybe he's just creepy.

What's left?

 

[spreadeagle]

It sounds as if you're talking rather than having a conversation. His behaviour is ill-mannered but very simple to cure.

If he initiates the call then it's his responsibility to explain his reason for calling. If he has no reason then you simply explain that you're in the middle of studying/laundry/sleeping - whatever it might be - and you can't talk at the moment - say 'bye' and hang up.

If he has a valid reason for calling then you need to practice asking 'open-ended questions'. This means you ask questions that begin with 'Who, Where, When, What, How, Why.' Do not ask any questions that can simply be answered 'yes' or 'no'. If he doesn't answer a question, count to 5 and repeat it, if there is still no answer say 'bye' and hang up immediately.

Where I grew up all telephone calls were charged for according to their duration. This meant that the telephone was used only for important conversations; that we kept check lists of things we needed to tell our friends and only phoned when the list justified the conversation; and that we practised speaking briefly and concisely.

Nowadays people chunner on endlessly on the telephone, deluding themselves into believing they are actually engaging in life. Friendships are measured by the quality and intensity of the discourse, not in hours of meaningless, vapid, repetitive drivel. Keep an egg-timer by your phone or check your watch when your friend phones and terminate the call after five minutes have passed.

 

[Roland00]

Note the difference between the two.

You talking and him just listening, you comment is he even there, he answers though there maybe a 2 second pause.

You talking and him just listening, you comment is he even there, he doesn't answer and you hang up.

The second one is a completely different situation, from the first. I am guilty of doing the first especially with crushes, I love to listen to peoples voices. The second person isn't really listen, while the first is listen very acutely.

 

[kurtwild]

maybe he has a crush on you.and he is not talking cos he is wanking off while listening to your voice.

 

[confusedboy23]

How about asking him out? That way, you can judge him in person!

 

[Riverrick]

Yea, what happens in person?

What does he do then? Is he listening?

 

[MRMATTX2]

Friendships are measured by the quality and intensity of the discourse, not in hours of meaningless, vapid, repetitive drivel

Great statement, here....and very true.

As for the question, it's not normal. Perhaps he's very lonely, and just wants someone to talk TO him. But, as said above, that's not a friendship.
Ask him about things he's interested in, and see if you can get him to interact.
Otherwise, I'd stop taking his calls.

 

[gabriel1]

he sounds like he is distracted and is making up an excuse why he didn't say anything.

if it bothers you that he does not say anything then hang up and eventually he will get the idea and will stop doing it

I must quote this one because it has happened to me, and I find out that usually the person on the other end is actually doing some work or IMing with someone and you are the "filler". Hang up