Is This Normal??

[gwailo]

So I have a new friend who swears up and down that he is straight, yet a few things lead me to think otherwise.*

First he told me, after barely knowing me (but knowing I like boys and girls...but mostly boys) that he made out with a guy one time in college. He said the guy started making out with him but he didn't stop it. Now this I can excuse because so many people apparently experience this. So I wrote off the story as "I was drunk in college and.. yadda yadda"

He gets a little friendlier when he is drunk. He never makes passes at me or moves on me and the first time I tried to get a little close to him he said "look, man. Please don't take this the wrong way but I'm really uncomfortable." so I backed off. ..BUT I've slept in his bed 3 times now when he was too drunk to drive me home and the last time I was basically spooning him the whole time. Even in the morning when he was no longer intoxicated and he did not shove me off of him. The last time I got in bed he even said "get your ass in bed". He was beyond wasted and I'm a decent guy so I literally just passed out even though I wanted to try and fool around. I knew it would be inappropriate..

Other little things that can easily be written off (but still noteworthy) are his compliments (by way of 'straight' jealous remarks about how skinny I am). He is also into fashion and little other non typical things of 'a dude'*

When we are drunk together we usually end up shirtless and sitting really close to each other too but no matter how close we are we are always in our own space watching a movie or playing videogames or something.*

The most recent thing to throw me off was he tried really hard to be butch about it when he asked me how big my dick was. He said its a normal question but no one has ever asked me that before. Gay or straight...

I'm not necessarily trying to get with this guy. We have a lot in common and we get along really well like 'buds' by I'm starting to get a little intrigued about this guy if not only to find out one way or another if he was open to try anything.*

What do you guys think?*

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

when people play these games - there is a good chance the frendship will end - and it wont be pretty.

When this spooning was going on - where were the hard cocks?

when he was asking about how big you are -- was there any suggestion of You show me yours - I'll show you mine?

If you want to keep him as a friend - when he says suggestive stuff to you - just say "quit teasing me" - and move on -

If things change, and he gets brave and wants a BJ - you'll be the first to know.

It's a paradox - he can blame the booze - but he can't actually initiate anything -- cuz that would make him gay - and if you initiate anything - then you're NOT a friend and get all the blame and lose a friend.

often a no win - nobody gets any - situation -- soo be careful if you wanna keep this friend as a friend !!

 

[inimegblue]

I say let the 'intrigue' die a violent death. Lol. Seriously though, if he identifies as straight (whether he is or not) then deal with him as such. It's not worth the time you will waste pining after a guy who can't be honest with himself until he's drunk. If the friendship has any value to you keep it platonic. If you think the mixed signals are weird now with this 'straight' guy, just imagine how it would be after he's done something gay.

Just my two cents.

 

[seven2go]

Go along with him.........but any actual moves need to come from him.........

It's actually kina hot the way you tell it.......

 

[mike1491]

He's probably bi or curious but just doesn't want to admit it to himself. If it were just one or two things of course you could write it off, but there are way too many signs indicating that he's not as "straight" as he wants to believe.

 

[gwailo]

Yeah I'm not about to push anything. We were in the same bed again last night and I definitely got hard and I know he felt it. I'm pretty sure he got hard at least once as well but I wasn't fondling him under the covers so I dunno for sure. My arm was around his waste though and when I moved it to turn over my arm brushed "something" lol

He wasn't nearly as drunk this time and I wasn't at all and he still said "are you ready to go upstairs?"

I think maybe he could be using me for company. It's just a little weird though. He's letting me get away with more and more stuff each one. Like the first time he said he was uncomfortable. The next few times he didn't say anything and last night I know he felt my dick pressed up against him and he didn't shove me away or say anything... Hmmm

 

[Georgiadude]

As others have warned, I'd tread lightly. Especially if you want to keep him as a friend. these forums are full of stories where these things went terribly wrong. Some even ending in violence. Add alcohol into the mix and signs/signals get taken the wrong way. You think he's given you the green light so you make a move and he's not ready for it and freaks out. or he does go through with it but after has what I call "straight guilt" and doesn't want to ever see you again. He may very well be testing the water but he's definitely not ready for a swim.

I know your curious and obviously interested in him but more often than not these type of situations end badly. Until HE is ready to take things further WHILE SOBER I'd enjoy his friendship and leave it at that.

Steven.

 

[Telstra]

Just enjoy.
To be partnered with you or not is up to him and you can't control that.

 

[Sceilig]

Just enjoy.
To be partnered with you or not is up to him and you can't control that.

Enjoy his friendship, yes.

Enjoy creating an awkward situation between both of you which will at best end in a lost friendship, not so much.

 

[BiMike]

I think he likes your company Just a little bit curious particularly when he has a few beers inside him. However if you want to keep him as a friend be very careful how far you go ! He is unlikely want to go as far as you would like , particularly when he sobers up.
Perhaps cuddle up to him and let him know you are there but dont go any further!

 

[Yves Grey]

Sheesh, man. Sometimes the dreaminess and the not knowing and the possibility are just so nice.

Still, were I in your shoes, I would make clear how much I appreciated his confidence and comfort level around me. Then, I would explain to him that it's new territory for me, certainly very awkward. I enjoy but am certainly not accustomed to that level of intimacy with a straight man.

He could certainly be open to things, but you've got to be communicating about those things, if you want to know for sure.

I hate it when this happens to me. Straight guys getting all touchy-feely with me. I'm like, "Don't you feckin' touch me, you... you feckin' straight! I might catch something, damn!" I kid. I'm usually like, "Uh, you're married, and that violates one of my three no-go-there policies."

Seriously, I don't mind it as much as I've grown older. Everyone needs affection and touch, period. When you prove to be in-aggressive, suddenly you're safe and everyone wants to bask in your glow.

Those who are a little bit at odds with mainstream (part of a minority) are often more thoughtful and circumspect, because they have (had to) pay attention to and be very conscious of things that others take for granted. This can come across as being wise or exceptionally grounded, and many people find comfort and security with those they feel are wise or grounded.

Still, my first love was like this. I think he turned out to be gay, but, that's only one relationship involving two people in a sea of, what? Seven billion? What can I say, I know what I know. But that still doesn't give me dominion over anyone but me.