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Is this what karma feels like?

H

Hot Mess

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Last summer I met a guy and we clicked. We hung out, I met his friends, and formed some kind of relationship. He told me how much he really really liked me, and I liked him back. But I'm only 18 and this was my first time dealing with anything like this, and it scared me. The phone calls, the lovey doveyness, it freaked me out so I stopped visiting him and eventually stopped returning his calls. I never told him how I felt, and sort of just quit him cold turkey like an asshole.

I instantly regretted this and late last year I texted him and told him how sorry I was for ending it like this, and how my inexperience in the whole relationship thing affected how I acted.

Later on this year we got back in contact and I realized how much I miss him and how much I genuinely like him. He told me he was dating someone but he isn't really into him. We flirted for a little bit and he told me that I'm his.

I added him on facebook, and I see his boyfriend is madly in love with him. He's actually really possessive of him too. I message him all the time but his boyfriend always goes on his facebook, and I have no other way of contacting him cause he doesn't have a phone. I seriously think I'm in love with this guy and I feel like because I was stupid in letting him go, that I will never get another chance with him. And it hurts so much. I've never fallen in love before so I don't exactly know what it feels like, but I have so many feelings for this guy it's crazy! lol.

What do you guys think. Do you think I deserve another chance to see him, or should I leave him alone with his boyfriend?
 
Hot Mess said:
he told me that I'm his.

I added him on facebook, and I see his boyfriend is madly in love with him.
Click to expand...
That's a direct contradiction. Please explain.
 
Lube said:
That's a direct contradiction. Please explain.
Click to expand...

It's so hard to write this without being too obvious incase someone finds this and reads it....hmmmm...

Basically he said he still has feelings for me, and he's scared that if he sees me again it will grow. But he also said he wanted to come up and see me, and before he departed he said 'Don't talk to any other dude, you're mine! lol'.
 
If it were me you treated like that I wouldn't give you the time of day. Put yourself in his shoes. He thinks everything is fine and he obviously had feelings for you. You get "cold feet" and just walk away from the guy. Not returning calls, etc. Really shitty thing to do to someone. I'm sure he was wondering what the hell he did. Truth is he didn't do anything. Now you have second thoughts and want to be back in the picture. He has a bf. Leave them alone and move on. The situation between him and his current bf. is none of your business. He doesn't deserve to have his heart played with again. Hope you learned a lesson. People aren't toys that you can just toss aside and walk away from.
 
Well, unless and until he drops the current boyfriend, I'd just walk away if I were you.

Maybe you're the incentive he needs to drop the current boyfriend; maybe not. Time will tell.

As Kara said, I'd keep looking if I were you! This is not a done deal.
 
Georgiadude said:
If it were me you treated like that I wouldn't give you the time of day. Put yourself in his shoes. He thinks everything is fine and he obviously had feelings for you. You get "cold feet" and just walk away from the guy. Not returning calls, etc. Really shitty thing to do to someone. I'm sure he was wondering what the hell he did. Truth is he didn't do anything. Now you have second thoughts and want to be back in the picture. He has a bf. Leave them alone and move on. The situation between him and his current bf. is none of your business. He doesn't deserve to have his heart played with again. Hope you learned a lesson. People aren't toys that you can just toss aside and walk away from.
Click to expand...

I know, I know =[ I couldn't believe he actually spoke to me when we started back talking this year, cause what I did was beyond messed up. It just sucks that someone's inexperience could prevent something from happening again. Even though we only 'went out' for like a month, I know he's someone special. It just sucks that I did a regretably mistake...=[
 
Hot Mess said:
I know, I know =[ I couldn't believe he actually spoke to me when we started back talking this year, cause what I did was beyond messed up. It just sucks that someone's inexperience could prevent something from happening again. Even though we only 'went out' for like a month, I know he's someone special. It just sucks that I did a regretably mistake...=[
Click to expand...

Yes it does suck.

But you're not the first person who has ever fucked up, hurt someone and then later regretted it when you got older and wiser.

In situations like this, you don't help anyone by looking backward with regret. And you don't get do-overs.

Your best option is to apologize to people that you're hurt in the past and move on with your life. That's a universal truth that applies to a lot of life's fuck-ups.

And the next time a nice guy comes along and he's interested in you, think about this regret and you'll have a better idea of how you should deal with the circumstance.
 
as every other experienced and rational person has poste...

move on.

If we don't learn from our mistakes, what is the use of making them?
 
Hot Mess said:
I know, I know =[ I couldn't believe he actually spoke to me when we started back talking this year, cause what I did was beyond messed up. It just sucks that someone's inexperience could prevent something from happening again. Even though we only 'went out' for like a month, I know he's someone special. It just sucks that I did a regretably mistake...=[
Click to expand...



A month is enough time for someone to get attached and develop feelings. Which he clearly did. Now you re appear and want a "do over". It doesn't work like that. Your re opening all of those old feelings he had for you. YOU LEFT HIM. Without any reason or cause. He was left wondering what the hell happened. Inexperience is one thing. Being rude and selfish is another. Whether you intended for it to be that way doesn't matter. The guy has moved on. He has a bf. Let that relationship run its course. Don't interfere in his life. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Let this one off the hook. You learned not to treat someone like that again. Great. Now go find someone else and treat him the proper way.
 
'You don't know what you've got until it's gone'.

You've made a really big mistake here, buddy. All you can do is learn from this mistake and move on.
 
You guys are right. Thanks for taking the time and reading this and replying. I'll leave him alone.
 
Hot Mess meant you are "hot".
So yeah plenty of other guys who wants you. ;)
 
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