It is a small world

[rareboy]

So it turns out that the guy who introduced me to jacking off now lives within 20 minutes of us.....his father was likely my own father's bj or jack-off buddy back in the day and we grew up within 100 feet of one another until they moved to the east of Toronto. I remember like it was yesterday when he told me that he something to show me while we were camping out in their backyard on a visit.

Our families are intertwined in a few different ways and I just found his father's obituary from 2020 today.

I want to reach out and ask him for info for the genealogical project I am working on....but just haven't reached the point of doing it.

Would you?

Or do we let the past be the past?

PS. I taught him a whole new way of jerking off.

 

[cabinfever]

I am not sure I have any good advice but I have a very similar situation and I can tell you what I did.

This guy was my best friend when I was a kid through most of high school and we were born the same day and year. We built stuff (his dad was a carpenter) - rode motorbikes - went fishing - and wrestled naked. Also - our families both had lake property we went to all the time and we did alot of boating and skiing - ect - until one day he brought a GIRL with him and I did not like it at all. He spent all his time with her and I think I was jealous but I wasn't in love with him or anything like that - I was mad she took away my best friend.

So - a few years later I get an invitation to their wedding - and I did not respond or go. It was purely an emotional response - He was very angry at me for not participating and I realized afterward what an asshole I was for not participating.

A few years back I found out he was located two blocks from me. He is still married to her and they have grown kids and maybe grandkids and I considered trying to mend fences but decided to leave it all in the past where it belongs.

There was one instance after I knew I was gay and maybe he heard about it where he came by my first apartment to say hi unexpectedly and I think he wanted to do more than say hi but I didn't want to go there.

I had mixed feelings over the years but now I know I made the right decision - I have seen him in a few stores but I don't think he recognizes me now (which is good).

So I am at peace now with my decision to leave the past in the past. I don't think there is a wrong or right was to deal with it though - just think about it and do what you feel is the best thing for you.

 

[jaysizzles]

Perhaps send a sympathy card or letter regarding his father, include a few details about your life and partner, and then mention you'd like to talk sometime and/or get together for drinks/dinner to discuss your genealogy. I'd leave out the jerking off stuff, and by you letting him know that you are partnered should put him at ease about thinking your motive is to hook-up.

 

[Nude_Dude]

... do we let the past be the past?

ALL of our "pasts" play such a HUGE part in molding us in to the individuals we've become
I would NEVER bury or deny my past for ANY reason - or ANYONE