alan1029smith
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In other posts, I wrote about feeling pain in my rectum. Well, as you can read from the title of this post, I have an update: it turned out to be gonorrhea. Before you start telling me to go to the doctor, I already got treatment last week, and feel much better. I no longer feel any pain whatsoever, but I won't have sex until my doctor gives me the green light. You guys have been extremely helpful, and I thank you so much for your advice.
In my recovery, I am left to ponder how this could have happened. More specifically, who gave me gonorrhea? I don't want to know because I believe it will absolve me of any responsibility for my own actions, or because I want to know whom to fixate my anger upon. I want to know because I want to get a sense of how long I've had the STD, which has implications on my health. Furthermore, knowing will help me in determining whom I need to contact.
My symptoms appeared while I was with my ex-boyfriend. During that time, he was the only person whom I had sex with. We had unprotected sex from late March until early June, frequently alternating sexual positions. The symptoms appeared in late May, approximately two months into our relationship. Since our break up, I haven't had sex with anyone else. Is it safe to assume that my ex gave me the STD? Or is it possible that I contracted it almost four months earlier, from someone else, and the symptoms remained dormant until now? My doctor told me that symptoms of gonorrhea can take anywhere from a week to a month to appear. Furthermore, I have never had unprotected sex with anyone else in the past, and I tested negative for gonorrhea (as well as everything else) three weeks prior to meeting my boyfriend, and abstained from sex during this three-week period.
I contacted my ex to tell him the unfortunate news, and he said he doubts he has gonorrhea, but will nonetheless get tested and update me when he finds out. I expected him to be as alarmed as I was, but he came across very nonchalant about the whole thing and told me that he was not worried at all. He seemed uncharacteristically optimistic for someone who had in the past told me that he was extremely paranoid about STDs. He claims to be symptom-free, but my doctor told me that gonorrhea can be asymptomatic. I remember my ex telling me that he had "blood work" done a month earlier, which supposedly revealed that he had no STDs. However, after his appointment, he began insisting on using a condom during sex, though he would always toss it out five minutes in. He also became really distant during this time, and didn't seem to want to see me or have sex with me. This was odd given the fact that he is much more sexual than I am.
I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist. So my suspicion is this: I believe he tested positive for gonorrhea a month ago, got treatment, and didn't have the decency to tell me like I told him. That explains why he is so confident that he doesn't have it NOW, why he grew distant after his trip to the doctors, and why he began insisting on using a condom. Given his nonchalant reaction, I feel as though he is priming me for a phony test result in which he reveals that he does not have gonorrhea. I believe such a test result would be impossible because I believe that he is the one who gave me the disease. But if he didn't give it to me, that would mean that I contracted the STD before I met him, and had it for the entirety of our relationship. Given the number of times we had unprotected sex, is it possible that he didn't contract it from me? I don't care who gave it to who. All I care about is whether or not you have the common decency to share such a vital piece of information with your partner or ex-partner.
Do you believe my ex is the only person who could have given me the STD? Why or why not?
If I did have gonorrhea before I met him, is it possible that he never contracted it from me?
Am I right to be suspicious, given his behavior?
In my recovery, I am left to ponder how this could have happened. More specifically, who gave me gonorrhea? I don't want to know because I believe it will absolve me of any responsibility for my own actions, or because I want to know whom to fixate my anger upon. I want to know because I want to get a sense of how long I've had the STD, which has implications on my health. Furthermore, knowing will help me in determining whom I need to contact.
My symptoms appeared while I was with my ex-boyfriend. During that time, he was the only person whom I had sex with. We had unprotected sex from late March until early June, frequently alternating sexual positions. The symptoms appeared in late May, approximately two months into our relationship. Since our break up, I haven't had sex with anyone else. Is it safe to assume that my ex gave me the STD? Or is it possible that I contracted it almost four months earlier, from someone else, and the symptoms remained dormant until now? My doctor told me that symptoms of gonorrhea can take anywhere from a week to a month to appear. Furthermore, I have never had unprotected sex with anyone else in the past, and I tested negative for gonorrhea (as well as everything else) three weeks prior to meeting my boyfriend, and abstained from sex during this three-week period.
I contacted my ex to tell him the unfortunate news, and he said he doubts he has gonorrhea, but will nonetheless get tested and update me when he finds out. I expected him to be as alarmed as I was, but he came across very nonchalant about the whole thing and told me that he was not worried at all. He seemed uncharacteristically optimistic for someone who had in the past told me that he was extremely paranoid about STDs. He claims to be symptom-free, but my doctor told me that gonorrhea can be asymptomatic. I remember my ex telling me that he had "blood work" done a month earlier, which supposedly revealed that he had no STDs. However, after his appointment, he began insisting on using a condom during sex, though he would always toss it out five minutes in. He also became really distant during this time, and didn't seem to want to see me or have sex with me. This was odd given the fact that he is much more sexual than I am.
I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist. So my suspicion is this: I believe he tested positive for gonorrhea a month ago, got treatment, and didn't have the decency to tell me like I told him. That explains why he is so confident that he doesn't have it NOW, why he grew distant after his trip to the doctors, and why he began insisting on using a condom. Given his nonchalant reaction, I feel as though he is priming me for a phony test result in which he reveals that he does not have gonorrhea. I believe such a test result would be impossible because I believe that he is the one who gave me the disease. But if he didn't give it to me, that would mean that I contracted the STD before I met him, and had it for the entirety of our relationship. Given the number of times we had unprotected sex, is it possible that he didn't contract it from me? I don't care who gave it to who. All I care about is whether or not you have the common decency to share such a vital piece of information with your partner or ex-partner.
Do you believe my ex is the only person who could have given me the STD? Why or why not?
If I did have gonorrhea before I met him, is it possible that he never contracted it from me?
Am I right to be suspicious, given his behavior?
