Jess' Story -- I Thought I Knew, Book 3

[hardreader]

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is the third book in the “I Thought I Knew” series. It is the story of Jess, a real college student from Chicago. Jess has made some decisions in his life that he now fears may create problems for him in the future. As he begins to grapple with his fears, he is still working out issues involving his own sexuality, his honesty and his very identity.

It is not necessary to have read either of the first two books to enjoy this final book in the series. You’ll learn all you need to know about Jess and his friends as the story unfolds. If you decide you want to start at the very beginning of Jess’ adventure with Billy and Justin, you can go to www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176387

As with the previous books in this series, the point of view will change from chapter to chapter enabling you to see what is going on inside the minds of various characters. Keep in mind that the story is true and accurate. It is based on interviews, comments and writing by the people involved. My job in all of this is to pull all their input together to create a single story.

That enough from me. It's time to let Jess speak at last.-- H.R.

Jess’ Story
I Thought I Knew -- Book Three
Chapter 1
From Jess' viewpoint​

Suddenly I was awake. I went from a deep sleep to wide awake in an instant. The effect was like one of those awful amusement park rides that drop you from on high into a near free-fall and then jerks you back. Like bungee jumping.

Awakening from this dream was like that. Only worse.

I was tangled in my sheets. Naked. Sweating profusely. Terrified. Confused. Embarrassed. Bewildered. And so much more all at the same time. I was overflowing with emotions that I couldn’t understand or even name. And it all went back to a dream. A dream I’ve had too many times in the past year. A dream I have come to dread.

The dream doesn't ever change much. It always starts with me sitting in my parents’ living room talking to my mother about nothing in particular. It wouldn’t be unusual at all except that I am completely naked. And I’m hard. Raging hard! The kind of aching hard-on guys love to have. In the dream I am slowly stroking my cock. In full view of my mother who seems not to notice.

Then, as can happen in dreams, my mother is walking into the room. Carrying a handful of loose papers. Like computer printer paper. I’m still hard and still jerking off and she’s still not noticing.

She stops and looks down at the pages in her hand and then looks back up at me. I can see the pain in her face. The hurt. Maybe a hint of anger, too.

“I know,” is all she says. It’s all I need to hear to understand what is causing her to look at me that way. Disgust. Contempt. Hatred. Yes, I think I could see hatred in her eyes. She knew.

That’s when I suddenly wake up from this nightmare each time. Awake with the awful knowledge that my mother knows not only that I have had sex with girls, but with boys, too! She not only knows that I have had sex with both, she knows it in such detail that she might as well have been in the room as I did . . . as I did all the sexual things most guys could ever think or dream of doing. All those things I did with such abandon. Such joy. Not in some dream, but in real life. My life.

I never should have shared all that stuff about myself and my friends online. I should never have gotten involved with Justin and Billy's "project". I should never have let H.R. write "I Thought I Knew."

If my mom has really read my story, and I am certain in my dream that she has, it’s as if she’s seen me masturbating. Sucking. Fucking. She’s seen me covered in cum. My cum. Their cum. She’s seen me lick it. Swallow it. Wallow in it.

She’s finally found out about me and Billy and Justin and all the rest. She’s read “I Thought I Knew” and any connection I have ever had with her is broken. Shattered. Destroyed beyond repair.

Awake. I am awake. But the fear and the nausea of the moment are real. The fear. The self-loathing. The helplessness. They are all real. I know it is a dream. I know the feelings will pass in the hours ahead.

But I also know somewhere deep down inside me that someday my mom may really learn about my story. That she may really know that I fucked my best friends, my cousin, my step-cousin. That I’m . . .

What am I? Still shaking off sleep. Still coping with the emotions of my nightmare. It is hard to even think about who and what I am. How I got where I am. How I am ever going to move forward.

Some of you already know my story. I’m Jess. The same Jess you may have read about in “I Thought I Knew.” I guess it is the story of how my best friend Billy and a friend named Justin and I tried to figure out what being gay is all about. What we wanted in life. How we could go about finding what we wanted.

The way our friend H.R. wrote it made it . . . Well, more than anything I guess it made our story real. So that lots of guys related to us. I got lots of mail from guys asking for advice. Giving advice. Wanting to meet me. Wanting to suck me. Wanting to fuck me. Wanting me to fuck them.

Yeah, the other thing H.R. did was to make our story really erotic. He made it into the story of our lives. But also into porn. Great porn! But porn just the same.

I guess I was completely OK with what he wrote when we were working on the project. Hell, everything he wrote was true, with a few innocent changes to protect our identities. But I can’t say it didn’t happen the way he wrote it. The way we told him we thought it happened. Remembered it happened.

My only worry then was that someone someday might figure out who we really are. But that seemed unlikely. I didn't really worry about it too much back then.

So you unerstand, Billy and Justin and I. . . and H.R. too, I guess . . . set out to share more than the story about our learning to jerk-off, suck, fuck, whatever. We thought we had a story worth sharing. A story guys would like to read and might learn something from. That was our idea of it.

Lots of guys, I mean really lots of guys, have written to tell us how much it helped them in their journey through discovering and untangling their own sexuality. I still have a few cyber friends I stay in touch with who I first met through our story. Of course, a lot more guys wrote to tell us how many times they came reading about us.

Plenty of good has come from telling our story, just the way H.R. said it would. But almost two years after we finished telling our story, the experience of exposing myself that way on the Internet is haunting me as I had never expected.

It has made me worry about something I would never have had to worry about. Should I tell my friends about it? Or should I keep it a secret. A secret I can never tell anyone I really know.

I never have told anyone I have really known that I am Jess from "I Thought I Knew". I can’t imagine how they’d react. Sure I know there are thousands of guys out there posting pictures of themselves and their friends jerking off and sucking and fucking everyday. It’s not such a big deal.

But deep inside I worry what people will think if they know about me and my story. It’s something I wonder if I ever will share. If someday I find the perfect girl or guy . . . will I be able to tell them? Will I lose them if I do? Will I go crazy keeping my secret if I don’t.

For a guy who begged his two best friends to fuck him and shared every detail of what happened, how I felt, what I thought, what I wanted and needed . . . For a guy who could share all that, you’re probably thinking, how hard could it be to tell a friend or a lover what he had done?

But you’ve got to remember that when I first shared my story, my identity was concealed. You could read a passage like:

My cock was still rock hard. Streaked with cum and red from all the action it had just gotten. My cockhead was still dripping a little bit of cum. A strand of it hung from the tip and was pooling down just above my navel.

I’d never fucked a guy before and my mind was racing with images of what had just happened. What I’d just done. I’d actually fucked my cousin. Sam. Little Sam. I’d shoved my big old cock up his tight ass. Rammed it in an out. And cum deep inside him. So hot! Thinking about it made my dick twitch from time to time and made a little more cum flow. I felt a little chilled, but Sam reached over and put a hand on my thigh. It seemed to warm my whole body.​

My identity was concealed but everything else was out in the open. It was all so graphically described by H.R. A lot of what he wrote was more graphic than . . . more graphic than what it felt like when we actually were doing it. You know, fucking, sucking, jerking each other off. His writing style let guys look inside my head at what I was thinking and feeling in the most intimate ways. He does that really well.

But I was always just a guy named Jess from Chicago. A guy you didn’t really know, even though a lot of you thought you did. You can look long and hard through every detail of that story and you’ll never figure out who I am.

I felt secure in that anonymity for a long time. Sure, I liked knowing that guys got hard and hot and horny reading my story. And I loved it every time someone wrote to tell me how much it had helped them, even if I never understood how.

Then the dreams started and I had to wonder how much longer I could keep this secret locked inside of me.

How many more nights could I awake having faced my own mother’s hatred? Maybe, almost certainly, I would never tell my mom. But each time I awoke bathed in sweat and overwhelmed by fear, I knew I would have to tell someone. I had to start finding my way forward.

This was who I was. It’s part of who I am. I was the star of a major porn story. Thousands of guys have read about me. They know how I jerk off. Know how I eat my own cum. Know I lusted after my best friend and his boyfriend. They know as much about my cock and what I did with it as I do. Maybe more.

And after they read about us each week, they wrote things like:

"Yes i am cumming huge!!!! Cant wait for next part!!!"

"If my vision weren't so blurry (It's HARD reading with your head thrown back this far!), and my other hand weren't so "busy", I'd type something!”

"I've gotta say that this story is really cumtastic. It's really hard holding it in."

"More and more cum is building up with each part!!"

"These boys are doing all their thinking with their dicks. But, it keeps the cum cumming."

How could I share that with my friends? Friends who think that I’m just a quirky college sophomore who really enjoys sex. Who can’t figure out if he wants to major in business or English. Who can’t figure out if he likes boys or girls.

How can I share the secret part of my life with someone I know face-tp-face? That’s what I’ve gotta figure out. Before it drives me crazy.

To Be Continued . . .

Jess and I are sure that Jess isn’t the first or the only guy to have worried whether his choices today wil come back to threaten him somehow in the future. If you’ve been through this situation before, we’d like to hear what you know, what advice you have, what good or bad has come of it all. But even if you’ve never even considered posting your picture on a gay dating site or jerking off in a video on XTube, we’d like you to share your thoughts in this thread. We hope it will be helpful to some of our readers and enrich the experience of all our readers.

I’ll post the next episode as soon as it is ready. Jess and I are unable to make specific commitments for how soon chapters will be posted.

Thanks again for reading and until next time, stay happy. And stay hard!

 

[ukbrit]

Hi HR and Jess. Thanks for the first part of book 3.
I have always thought Jess had a deeper side to him and this chapter has started and delved into something that many of us have been through, outing ourselves. But as we say "if I knew then what I know now"
I look forward to this book which I think will be more thought provoking than 1 and 2.
Waiting with anticipation.
Thanks guys..

 

[tommy296]

HR - This looks like the beginning of another great story - thank you! And Jess - thanks to you also for bravely going forward with it. Looking forward to the next chapter!

 

[TimWhite07]

Jess, HR.

This is a great begining. As always, i can not wait until the next part comes out.

As it was written in the chapter , ITIK was a great story, and a porn at the same time. For that i liked it. Im not one that like to read nothing but sex. i do enjoy it ever once in a while but not a great deal. But ITIK had both. a great story and sex. very graphic sex. lol . For that i commend HR. You have that way for making a guy hard but still get the story accross.

You asked at the end of the chapter to say if you have been through any thing similar and what has come of it.

I wrote mine. I know a few ppl that are on this website that have read it, and i talk to alot of them on yahoo.

I had hard time when i told people. I told my best friend. he was the 1st person i know. He took upon his self to tell the entire school. That led to me becoming an outcast. i lost all my friends. i was threatend. I told my parents, my dad was fine with it. All im going to say is that my mom is no longer here.

that was the bad. The good is that im not married. i met my "amgel" and better half in highschool. we got married and have a bady on the way thanks to very good friend of ours. I have the support of my dad and my friends.

Coming out is a very hard thing to do. everyone has those worries. "what will my friends think? What will my family do? will they still love me?" The truth is, there is no one that can answer that question except for them. You have to be the one to make the leap and tell them. Then, hopefully, your friends and family will understand and still love you. Then when you tell them you can stop hiding and live your life.

That burden and fear for hiding will be gone. The name calling and hatred will always hurt, but once you get it out in the open, then you ignore it better. You can find that one person that you are ment to be with. You can find your Knight in shining armor. and that person can make you the happiest person in the world. Weather by marrige, partnership, or just a relation ship.

I hope that that help some.

Love
Tim.

 

[thermodynamics]

That's a great start. I read book 1 of ITIK, and loved it, though it's been a while. I remember that I was always pulling for Jess, hoping he would find happiness.

 

[Bodhi1]

Amazing heart-felt story! Thank you so much Jess for sharing. I guess all of us have been through the same fears about coming out - and although I did so quite early, many of us have not yet been able to do so.

Your sexual explorations were wonderful! I wish we had all had such close friends to experiment with - you are most fortunate!

Quite frankly, Hardreader is an amazing chronicler of your history resulting in a major hot porn story of great quality! I am certain as you grow older and wiser and find the Love of your Life, you will be perhaps a little shy to start, but actually very proud of your story and how moving it has been to so many folks. I know I would be!

Be at Peace and know that we Love you ...

 

[Kyanimal]

Wow! Not quite the beginning that I was expecting! It seems that Jess's story will be a deeper look into the thoughts, and concerns, behind the "action". And, that is more than commendable!

Jess ... when I was your age it was a different time and a different world. (Pre-internet, if you can fathom that!)

Not only did I know I was Gay, I was also living under a small spotlight as a Preacher's Kid! Double indemnity!!

But, I did what was expected of me, and had more than my fair share of "Fun" with the Ladies! (Nearly married 5 of them! No ... not at the same time!) But, there were also a few Guys, too, well ... maybe more than a few, and I always knew I preferred the Dudes!

I was always VERY careful about the Guys I played with, and whether "word" would get around ... which, thank Goodness, it didn't! So, I was not only in "the closet", but also "partying" with the Girls to cover it! Don't get me wrong! I thoroughly enjoyed every single minute with "my" Girls, cared for them deeply, and wouldn't want to harm them, in any way, for the World! But ... still ... I "Knew"!

These days ... after 27yr. with "My" Kev ... I don't care who knows! (Though I'm still not "blatant" about it.) My immediate family knows, but their "Public" doesn't. There's a reason I live 500mi. away from "Home". And, I think my immediate family likes Kev better than they do Me!

The only place I've ever posted about this, and shown some pictures (to my fellow JUBbers horror), is "here" on JUB. I figure if anyone "finds out", they'll have some 'splainin' to do, themselves!

The concerns you've brought up can be Very daunting! And, I respect You, tremendously, for allowing HR to tell your story! THANK YOU!!

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! *kiss* *hugs*
Chaz ;-)

(I HATE running out of Smilies! *tantrum!*)

 

[DonQuixote]

Jess (& HR),
I didn't know you'd posted so quickly. HR will tell you, I'd just finished PMing him asking him to let me know when you posted Jess' story, since I didn't always check the main forum listings!

I looked more closely after I got his pm.

This looks like it's going to be a very in-depth look at your inner turmoil - I hope it is as cathartic for you as my talking to people and getting involved with people here has been for me.

Book I was youthful innocence explored. You were "in absentia" by and large in II.
Both involved HR's wonderful prose in augmenting your "discovery exercises"!

Thank you for deciding to share with us. I can tell that you didn't come into this lightly. I see, by the response so far, that many of your faithful readers are hear, pulling for you, ready to listen to your tale, and offer a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to bend, if you come looking for advice.

Welcome home, Jess. Thank you, HR.

 

[DonQuixote]

Give 'em Hell, Skittles.

C'mon guys, come out of the woodwork and Give Jess and HR a little appreciation for their past and present efforts.

They don't ask for payment for their hours invested in developing the prose that we so eagerly devour.

The least we can do is like RonR18 demanded in his thread, before his life took an unexpected turn -- give them a little written praise via public accolades on this thread.

Jess, in particular, has bared a lot more than his soul in the previous works, and in the opening volley of this one. I'm sure most if not all of us have had at least some of the feelings that Jess has described -- it takes a brave person, indeed, to bare oneself as completely as he, Billy, and Justin have done, with HR's tireless help.

I think this is going to be a very touching, intense telling of self-discovery and exploration, and public revelation second thoughts.

Jess, we admire your strength in being willing to come back to us and continue to bare your inner soul for and with us.
Thank you, once again. And thank you, too, HR, for being both his mentor and not-so-ghost writer of this compelling (auto)biography of a young man's transition from teen to tween in a sexually charged point in his life.

 

[JustJess]

I want to thank the guys who have commented. skittels and donquixote you guys are too much. But that's ok with me. lol
i wanted to let everyone know that it's my fault that H.R. hasnt posted the next chapter. when i read the next two chapters they just didn't feel quite right to me. I think H.R. had misunderstood what I had told him. After we talked about it a long time he said he thought the only way to fix it was a complete new version.th at's what he's working on. Im sorry I caused the delay but it's my stry and I really want it to be right. Don't blame H.R. It my fault.

 

[DonQuixote]

Jess,
NothingtoSay is right. It's extra tough writing to an "online" deadline. Published authors have the luxury of rewrites, and the only one(s) bitching are the publisher's reps who want to get it printed and out, so they start to crank in the cash.

We much prefer that you be happy. I'm sure HR is fine with it - he is a perfectionist of his own right - at least with the steamy sex scenes(LOL).

BOTH of you, take care, take your time.

YES, we want to read it and relate to you; but it's almost as important to us that it be what you want to represent as it is to you. (I'm not so arrogant as to remotely assume "we" would be "AS" concerned as you would be -- it is your life, afterall!)

Thanks for taking the time to let us know.

Sleep easy.

 

[Bodhi1]

PLEASE take your time - all of you... HR is also a perfectionist and he wants you to be proud of "your" story. He can take as long as he needs to write it the way you want ... It is an amazing collaboration and none of us want to rush it! We relish it too much ...

Great of all of you to bring us this amazing tale ...

 

[TimWhite07]

Jess,

There is no need to appologize for the delay. it your story and should only be posted when you feel it is just the way that you want it.

I started reading I thought i knew on nifty. I loved it and i told HR that every time the new chapter came out. Then i was told that it was on here. I started reading it here and feel in love with it. boht for the story and how people felt about it.

This story needs to be how you feel and how you felt. And only you know that. I would rather wait longer to read a story that you are proud of and that you support then a story that you are not fully insupport of.

Skittles, if there has to be a cheerleader for the story. I think that you are a great one. From the post's you have made since it have started, it seems that you love both jess and H.R. It seems that you want poeple to express how they feel about the story. that is a good thing. The more people see how much we like the story, the more likely they are going to post their comment.

 

[hardreader]

Hi, guys. Jess has already explained the delay. It's a first, but I guess I messed up understanding exactly what was going on. At least what was going on in his head. He's read my latest draft and says it's OK. So now I just need to get it cleaned up. Hopefully I can still do that today.

I want to add my thanks to Jess' for all the support we have received from skittles, DonQuixote and Bodhi. And also thanks to the rest of you who have shared your comments and even a bit of your personal experiences.

For those of you looking for the kind of sex scenes you may have cum to expect from this project, this next chapter isn't it. But I can assure you that once you get into this book, you will not be disappointed in the sex department. Obviously there is a lot more here than just sex, but I'm saying there will be plenty of sex ahead for even the most demanding of you.

I'll be back with the revised Chapter II soon. Until then, stay happy. And stay hard!

 

[hardreader]

Jess’ Story
I Thought I Knew -- Book Three
Chapter 2
From Jess' viewpoint​

I was having lunch with a friend of mine named Ann. We’d become friends during our Freshmen year. And since most everyone we knew had left campus for the summer, we’d become closer. Well, what I mean is that we saw more of each other.

It was only a few weeks into summer session and I was already thinking of this as my Summer of Masturbation. Everyone I had ever fucked around with, or even thought about fucking around with, was gone until fall. It was just me and Ann. And a lot of solo jack-off time.

I was still jacking off the way I had since I was a kid. Rocking up on my shoulders. Lining my cock up right above my mouth. Licking and sucking on my cockhead until I shot my load directly into my mouth. With all the practice I’d been getting lately, I found I could get more and more of my cock in my mouth. More than I ever had before. he whole head, which felt so good, and even a little bit of my cock too. I liked that. I wondered if maybe my cock was getting longer, but when I measured it was still right at 8 inches.

I liked being able to suck on my cockhead. Feel its heat against my tongue. Taste what pre-jizz I had as it drizzled from my cocklips. My pre-jizz was really sweet, even if my cum wasn't nearly as sweet as some guys I'd tasted.

When I was wound up in myself like that with my cock in my mouth, I could smell what I really smelled like. What other girls and guys smelled when they were sucking me. And I have to say, it turned me on. Thinking about all the mouths that had sucked my cum out, All the times I’d shot. How they'd tasted me. And even swallowed me. How cool was that!

But I seem to have gotten distracted from my story. Oh ,yeah, I was talking about Ann.

I still remember when I first asked her out on a date. It was the beginning of the second semester. I don’t know why I asked her out. I wasn’t really attracted to her or anything. But we had a creative writing class together and had started talking to each other fairly regularly after classes.

One day we were talking and I asked her if she wanted to catch a movie or something that Friday evening. A guy I had been planning to go with had just cancelled. Anyway Ann said yes and we went.

I thought it was going to be a date, but it wasn’t like a date at all. More like an extension of our discussions after class. We talked about our writing projects and other kids in the class and the teacher. Stuff like that. After the movie we got some ice cream and talked some more and I took her home. I got nothing. Not even a peck on the cheek.

That doesn’t happen to me often because I usually make sure I know what the person I’m with wants from me and I’m clear about what I’d like from them. I’m not shy about talking about sex, as you can probably tell.

With Ann, the topic never came up. But somehow at the end of the evening I still expected something. It just didn’t happen. That, I figured, was Ann.

It seemed clear to me that we were meant to be friends and that anything more would only complicate our friendship. After that, we saw each other regularly for lunch. Occasionally for dinner or a movie. Sometimes I paid. Sometimes we split it. We never talked about our relationship. It just was what it was.

Now that it was summer and neither of us had anyone else much to turn to, we were seeing even more of each other.

So we were at lunch one day and all of a sudden she looked at me very seriously and asked, “Do you know my friend Paul?” When I didn’t answer immediately, she added, “Paul. He went to high school with me. From my hometown.”

“I don’t think so. Is he in one of my classes or something?” I asked.

“No. I just thought maybe you knew him. He’s taking two classes here this summer. He’s transferring and needed the hours to stay on schedule to graduate,” she explained.

I started to wonder if maybe she was getting ready to try to set me up. Then I couldn’t remember if she even knew I was “undeclared.” I guess we’d never talked about anything like that. I hadn't told her I liked sex of all kinds. With all kinds. She probably thought I was just a straight guy.

As I was trying to remember what she might or might not know about my sexual orientation, or lack thereof, she said, “We’re going out tonight. Paul and me. Second date.”

It was like I had heard each word just fine, but they didn’t fit together. Not in a way that seemed to make sense. Ann? A date? A second date? I had just completely stopped thinking of her in that way. I guess I had forgotten that anyone would.

She wasn’t ugly or anything. She was good looking in a girl-next-door sort of way. She was smart and funny. And nice. I liked her. It was just that since that first night when we went to the movies, I guess I had buried those kinds of thoughts about her.

I was kind of at a loss for words. “Do you like him?” I finally asked.

“I kinda do. Yeah,” she said and looked a little embarrassed.

“So why so shy about it?” I asked.

“I think he’s expecting something . . . you know, something more.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at me as she strained and stuttered to get the words out.

I was glad she wasn’t looking at me, because I’m not sure I concealed my surprise at the direction our conversation had suddenly taken. It was virgin territory for sure. At least for us. But maybe she didn’t mean what I thought she meant.

“Well, do you want to, you know, do something ‘more’?” Questions. I was always good with questions.

There was a long pause and then she finally said, “I really think I like him . . . a lot.”

“So . . . ?” I left the word hanging between us. I have to admit that the thought of her getting it on even with another guy was kind of turning me on. Hell, the thought of sex was turning me on. After all, I’d had nothing but my own devices to get me off for more than a month.

“I don’t have a lot of experience dating. My parents made it difficult when I was in high school . . .” and with those words she started to explain.

It seems she had been quite “smitten” – her word – with Paul in high school, but her parents didn’t “think he was right” for her. So she never went out with him. I couldn’t really tell from what she said whether he had even asked her out.

They had met again on campus this summer and her interest in him had quickly rekindled. She had gotten up the nerve to ask him if he wanted to go out. He called her a day or two later to make more definite plans.

On their first date she had let him kiss her good night “for quite a while.” Her words again. She told me how as she had loosened her hands from holding him close to her, her hand brushed against . . . How did she put it?

“As I withdrew my hand from his hip, it accidentally brushed against the front of his slacks. I could tell that he was extended.” I’m pretty sure that’s just about exactly what she said.

Apparently she didn’t do anything to help the guy out. She had no experience whatsoever with such things. And she had worried ever since that she was going to lose any chance she had with him if she didn’t “respond to his needs” this next time.

“So, you’re a guy. Tell me what I should do if it happens again?”

It popped into my head at that moment that Ann could be the answer to my dream. My nightmare. I could help her and she could help me. I didn’t know exactly how it would work, but I felt confident that it would . . . or at least that it could.

If I helped her with this problem she was having, she’d have to help me with mine, I figured. Maybe I could share with her my fears about how people would react if they knew that I had shared the intimate details of my life with thousands of guys online.

With a renewed interest in this conversation I eagerly asked, “So what do you want to do to him?” Again with the questions.

“I just want to make him happy. To have him like me. To . . . you know.” Again she could not bring herself to look at me as she said those words.

I took a deep breath as I gathered my thoughts and then plunged in. “Well, if your hand should again . . . by accident . . . brush against his extended . . .” I hesitated myself as I searched for the right word. Without thinking about it, I let the back of my hand brush against my crotch. I felt my cock respond. This conversation was starting to turn me on.

Fortunately, Anne couldn’t actually see what I had done because the tabletop between us blocked her view. But I think she got the idea. I guess I figured it didn’t really matter what she saw me do at this point, so I kind of brushed my growing cock with the tips of my fingers a few times as I continued, “If your hand should again brush against his penis, let it pause there. Just let your hand rest on it for a moment or two. If he doesn’t do anything to show you he’s uncomfortable with that” and I’m thinking fat chance of that, “wrap your fingers around it and hold it. You can squeeze it gently.”

I made an appropriate squeezing gesture on my own cock, which was now pretty hard and felt good in my hand. I could feel its heat. Its solid mass. Its throbbing pulse. I was feeling horny.

I had to sort of adjust myself to make more room for my growing cock. Ann didn’t react. I guess she must not have realized what I was doing. She couldn’t see it. Just some movement in my upper arm.

Then thinking more of me than of Ann’s would-be boyfriend, I added, “Maybe stroke it up and down it a little. I think he’d probably like that.”

Suddenly I’m wondering what the hell am I doing? This is crazy. I’m sitting at lunch in public telling this girl, this friend, how to jack a guy off. And as I tell her, I’m jerking myself off in the seat across from her.

“That’s all I need to do?” she asked me so innocently. It was all I could do not to freak or burst out laughing. But I did great. I stayed in my good-friend mode.

“Yeah. I think that should do it,” I said, trying to extract myself from this conversation before I came in my pants. I was also trying to think ahead to how I could move things along so I could suggest that I had questions to ask her. Questions about my problem.

But the time just didn’t seem right and so I figured I could ask her later. In the end, I just said, “Good luck with that tonight. Let me know if I was of any help. I hope you’re both, you know, happy with the outcum.” I kinda stressed the “cum” part, bit I don’t think she got the pun.

“Gee, thanks,” she said as we prepared to leave and head our separate ways.

Gee? Does anyone say “gee” anymore?

I was standing at the counter to pay our bill. Ann walked up and stood close behind me. Too close really. I kind of jumped when I felt her warm breath on my ear. Was she gonna kiss me or what?

I froze. I didn’t know what to do. “Jess,” she whispered in my ear too quiet for anyone else to hear, “I hate to ask you this, but do you think you could show me how? This afternoon? I really want to . . . you know . . . get it right and everything.”

I didn’t answer. Hell, I didn’t move, or even breathe. But my cock was suddenly hard again.

“Please!” she begged. My cock twitched. What the hell was going on?

If it wasn’t for the dream and my fears and the feeling . . . no it was more a belief or even a certainty . . . that Ann held some part of the solution to my dilemma, I could have made up an excuse. Any excuse. And gotten the hell out of there.

At least that’s what my head was saying. My cock was thinking, easy sex. Easy sex!

I guess I was thinking with my cock again because what I said was, “I’ll see what I can do. What time?”

Even as the words left my mouth, I started to doubt whether Ann could help me in any real way with my problem. But my cock seemed mighty pleased with the prospects of what it might mean to help her with her problem.

“3 o’clock at my place would be great,” she said and flashed me a big and very genuine smile before she gave me a little kiss. On my cheek.

As I headed back to my place, I started wondering what the hell had I gotten myself into. What did Ann expect? Was I supposed to demonstrate what it’s like when a guy . . . hell, when a guy blows his load? Does she know shit about all this? About any of this? How basic do I have to get? I could show her videos from some of the porn sites. She’s probably completely clueless about such things. That’s what I was thinking.

As I reached my apartment, I started to wonder if maybe, just maybe, she would possibly . . . Could she want to practice on me? To jerk me off? No, she just wanted to make sure she understood what to do. What guys like. To try to understand what it felt like. At least that’s what I thought. I really couldn’t quite get my head around Ann jerking anyone off. Certainly not me. But my cock seemed to have ideas of its own. I gave it a squeeze.

Then it popped into my head that maybe there was no boyfriend. No Paul. Maybe she was just trying to, you know, have sex with me.

I thought about that and every other possibility I could come up with for the next two hours until it was time to go. I even thought back to when I was in high school. How Justin, the only gay kid I knew at the time, had taught me about such things. Like how to give a good blowjob.

Oh, man, Justin sure did give good head. I loved the way H.R. wrote that part. I couldn’t resist reading it again:

Justin cupped my cock and balls in both his hands and then leaned forward and started licking. First my cock and then my balls. Then back to my cock. He was right. He was good at this. I thought Billy’s handjob was nice. This was better.

I didn’t need to tell Justin I liked it. My cock was already telling him as it stretched out in his hands. Wet with his spittle, he was now gently stroking my cock, licking it, stroking it. God it was getting hard really fast. Standing straight up, presenting its sensitive underside to his tongue, giving him a rock hard column to stroke and lick.

And then he said, “Ready?” I didn’t know what he meant, but before I could inquire as directed, he had begun to suck on my cockhead, slurping it in and out between his lips. I looked down and he was looking up, my cockhead in his smiling lips. His fist wrapped gently around my shaft. His saliva dripping down around my nuts. I was fascinated by the view. I loved the sensation.

He stopped and lifted his head enough so my cock was standing free just in front of his warm, welcoming lips. “Remember what I’m doing. Go slow. Watch your teeth that you don’t scratch him. Dicks don’t like teeth.”

I could feel his breath on my cock as he talked and couldn’t resist leaning forward to get my cock closer to his lips. So this is what blowjobs were like?

And then he started again. I gasped.

“Are you going to cum?”

“No,” I said. “Not yet.”

“Let me know if your gonna cum. That’s important.”

And he went back to caressing my cockhead with his lips, stroking my cock with one hand and now pinching one of my nipples with the other.

I pulled away suddenly, almost in a panic. “I don’t think Billy’s gonna go for this. Maybe a blowjob, but not the stuff with the nips.”

“OK,” Justin said reassuringly. “You should focus on his dick, if that’s what you think he wants, but don’t be afraid to ask him. You might be surprised.”

“I couldn’t.”

Justin looked a little discouraged, but then smiled reassuringly. “Just relax and try to enjoy it. Remember, you’re doing this for Billy, not to Billy. So make it as good as you can. Now relax.”

And he started again, minus the nipple. Before long he started to take my cock deeper into his mouth. In and out as his tongue played all around my swollen cock. I could see why guys went crazy for this. I watched as my cock went deeper into his mouth. I felt my sensitive cockhead being stroked by the roof of his mouth, caressed by his warm, slippery tongue. It was so wet. So welcoming. So warm.

He started to hum gently almost like a cat purring. And I felt the gentle vibration in my cock. His lips smiled as my hard meat slipped in and out. In and out. I couldn’t resist. The urge was too strong and so I started to pump my cock deeper. It must have been going down his throat. That’s what I could feel. I was fucking his throat. I could feel the surge building in my balls. I could sense every muscle in my body contract.

Then I exploded with a massive blast of cum. “I’m cumming,” I shouted and shot again and again. I could see Justin swallowing, but still cum was dribbling from the edges of his mouth. I could see it on his lips. His lips swollen from sucking on my cock. That was my cum. On Justin’s lips. My cum. His lips. Down his tight throat. Fucking A. So this was being gay.

As I looked into his eyes, I again had that great view of my still rigid cock deep between his lips, his smiling face looking up at me. My cum dripping from his mouth. On his lips.

He pulled back and my cock stood free. It felt cold in the air out of the comforting warmth of Justin’s mouth.​

By the time I finished reading that, I was so hard. It may seem kinda weird, but reading this had turned me on. My own story in pretty much my own words with a little help from H.R. It had gotten me really hard.

As I sat their stroking my aching cock, I began to realize that it wasn’t just remembering what had happened between me and Justin that had gotten me so hard. It was the idea that we were changing places. I was gonna be the teacher. I was gonna be the one to show Ann how to give Paul what every guy needs.

There was something so . . . I don’t know. Just the idea that I was gonna be teaching someone else how to get a guy off was what really turned me on I think.

As I stroked my cock, all eight rigid inches of it, I started thinking with my head again. What I should do is make this as good an experience for Ann as Justin had made it for me. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to make that happen, but that was my new goal.

And I started telling myself, Whatever happens, it’s just sex. You’ve done it before and you’ll do it again.

To Be Continued . . .

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Jess and I are starting this story off kind of slow to get you into the frame of mind he was in when it happened. Believe me, you are going to enjoy reading what happened to Jess that summer.

Leave us a message. Let us know what you think. And until next time, stay happy. And stay hard!

 

[DonQuixote]

Jess & HR,
Slow, huh? It was pretty amazing, any way you slice it.

Thank you, Jess, for letting us into your mind, to truly experience what was going through your head - the big one on top!

As for the slow, warm up - the cafeteria was enough to start the blood flowing, and reliving the earlier espisode along with Jess was almost enough to make me embarrassed - since I'm reading this AT LUNCH in a PUBLIC restaurant!

You're cumming full circle - the student becomes the teacher. It might be a bit tricky for you to demonstrate on Ann, but . . . how did you show her -- did you repeat your own masturbation techniques, after running your hands along her special sweet spot, and having her do you - through your respective clothes?

I know, be patient, let you tell your story. Bad habit, I like to explore the possibilities and guess what's next. (-:

Thank you, again, for being so open and up front with us.

 

[BiMike]

It's great ! You have got me hooked already , eager for the next chapter!

 

[TimWhite07]

I loved the newest chatper jess and HR.

to me it feels like im in your head, seeing everything as you saw it. and i think that it is wonderful. you both have a gift for this.

It was worth the wait to read this chapter. i look forward to reading the next chapter, no matter how long away that is.

love ya,
tim

 

[DonQuixote]

Hey TimTom (to use Cody's pet name for you)
Are you sure your well enough to read this thread right now?

We don't want you to overheat and get sicker! lol

Just kidding. Glad you're feeling well enough to get into the fun, again.

Jess/HR, my earlier post stands - great installment.

Looking forward to another, as time provides.

 

[Bodhi1]

Fabulous new chapter!!! Scorching - I don't like the thought of sex with a woman but since it's being told so convincingly from Jess' point of view, it will be hot, whatever happens!

Maybe her can go on the date with Ann & show her by giving Paul a hot blow job ... just sayin' ...