Just came out to my best friend yesterday!

[hackingnomberr]

It was through text message, but we don't live near each other and it was easier that way anyway. c:

The weird thing is that he initiated the conversation asking me what I thought about sexuality in general and eventually I kind of just told him 100% on my own. However, he already knew because his sister's ex-boyfriend, who is also gay, found me on Adam4Adam and told him. How. Annoying. But my friend was respectful enough to let me come out on my own terms so I figure it's all for the best! To be honest though I don't really feel any different, but we'll see how that goes as time goes on and I come out to more of my friends.~

 

[Rolyo85]

Awesome for you

Gotta love the sensitivity of that guy though - "hey, I've been so closeted that I've dated girls, but I'm just gonna go about telling random people about this other guy who I now know is gay!"

Makes me sick.

 

[Sausy]

Very glad for you that despite the awkwardness of how you and your friend wound up in this discussion you're able to be honest and it seems to be going well.My best that things keep moving forward,and it is always more of a relief to be able to go on with life on your terms rather than worry about if someone is going to ever take a look and find you hiding in a musty old closet.It's YOUR life and you have to live it true to yourself...I wish I had your courage and determination when I was younger.

 

[Seasoned]

I have great hope for you in that you could have unknowingly been caught in a lie and opted for the truth instead. I get two important messages from your story. We should all try to mind our own business because what the gay guy did was meddlesome at best, and, when possessing a fact or rumor about someone close to us, we ought to be upfront letting the person know what we know before beginning a discussion.

I think you can take comfort from the fact you chose to come out when given the choice. Perhaps why you aren't feeling anything yet is due to you being, at least mildly, set up. Once you initiate the thought of coming out to the next person and act on it you'll feel what you expected to feel. Good luck with your journey.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Hackingnomberr,

Thanks for sharing us with this story and good to read that your friend took it very well. Right now, you don't need to 'ly' anymore to your best friend that you are 'single and looking around for a girlfriend'.

Hey man, you are right now stepping out of the closet and it seems to me that you are right now less deep in the closet then you might think.

So what's the difference between going to a gay bar (where anyone can see that you are there) or creating a profile on a gay dating site like Adam4Adam where any visitor / other member can see your face?

I would not bother too much that this guy has told to others that you are gay. I mean, its not a shame to be gay, and people can also notice you during a visit to a gay bar, and likely will also tell this to others.

And others (and also you) are right that you best friend was very kind to you. He had heard something about you, and asked you about this in a very, very polite way. So he is indeed a very good friend of you, and I tend to think that not much will chance into your friendship. Well, likely the friendship will become more real, as you have told him a very important part of yourself.

I would like to wish you all the best and good luck.

Take care.

 

[Benvolio]

Please let us know how it affects your relation with your best friend.

 

[slowshow]

First thing, it's not really his fault that his sister's ex-bf "outed" you to him so just let that slide!

Best friends should always accept you no matter who you may be or how you represent yourself, and that's what he did. He really is a best friend.

Hopefully everything goes well with your social circle as well, and hopefully they're all as accepting as your bestie. Good luck.

 

[hackingnomberr]

The difference between the website and public is that in public it's pretty clear how little I care and not discrete I am. However on a website I explicitly say I'm closeted and discrete, so there you have it! Either way I'm already over him outing me, it's not like I even know him well anyway.~

Thanks for all of the warm comments guys! As for an update on my relationship with my best friend, he's basically just been asking me questions about it, he thinks it's pretty interesting I guess haha. I'm more than open to his questions though I think they're funny and kind of interesting, especially since I can finally openly talk about the subject. Other than that everything is the same between us. c;